glad I don't go to Utah Valley University anymore

I wouldn’t be surprised if Kirk was shot by a righty trying to instigate more violence. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kirk was somehow in on it. I wouldn’t be surprised if they spun some poor innocent queer person’s tweets to show them as “guilty” I just wouldn’t be surprised if

Itchin my dandruff onto the guy behind me’s phone

Had a dream where Dave Ramsey threatened to sue people if they disagreed with him on his show

This is Dubai Chocolate???? It look like dookie juice

How I look at the fourties’ at the grocery store knowing I still have work for another couple hours

Has anyone given an orangutan headphones and unlimited access to music? I wanna see what they’d listen to.

Feelin a little more unemployed rn than I wanna feel

Silly roommate thinks century eggs are made in old dirty water on the stove

I have released a single :3 open.spotify.com/album/5yT0gT...

Thanks to the man on the quiet car who let me sit by him. If I didn’t make this train I don’t know what I would have done.

Things they hang from ceilings in museums: 1. Airplanes 2. Whales

Telling someone that they should be able to get over their problems because you had worse problems and you got over them is still a victim complex. It’s not always about complaining or whatever.

Balled too hard my game crashed

I feel like movies would feel better to watch if their genres were like Music or Art where it’s based more on a movement or context rather than an expected feeling. Folk or Postmodernist as terms do not set up an expectation to feel something.

Don’t move in with your friends if they’re good at arguing. You’ll want that energy until they use it against you. Trust

What if they introduce Silver in Sonic 5 but he is played by John C. Riley?

Do not make a joke you cannot handle being treated as sincere. If you’re not willing to apologize— regardless of intention— you are not ready to tell that joke.

They done gone made me buy the McDonalds app

New Kendrick is good but I can think of like 50 other albums I like better

Toaster that says “this machine kills fascists”

Been so long since I’ve made a tweet-style post that I’ve lost my sauce.