If I'm Mbappe I'm hoping they let play carry on if there's lightning because it might imbue me with special powers like Goku if it struck me

One of the more charming kinds of Yank tourist on the Tube this morning, as a lad from Miami was very earnestly chatting up a girl with the thicket South London accent I've ever heard

Hey now, being PM doesn't always mean you're a barrier to your kids' success. Look at Euan Blair! Even after all the stress of Downing Street, it never stopped him from becoming a venal ubercapitalist shitheel

Just watched that Adingra missed chance again. Generational fumble I'm afraid

Constant boos for Hakimi pretty heartening actually. Should know no peace til he steps off a football pitch for the last time and after that, as well

Benj Pasek being named as part of that secret Peter Thiel society only furthers my theory that The Greatest Showman is a unique act of cultural and societal evil

*Former Yugoslavianly* Yeet

YOU'VE JUST BEEN MBOLADINGA'D

Realistically, if in the World Cup final both teams are vying for momentum and, say, de la Fuente and Scaloni tell their squads to just keep playing when the ref blows for the hydration break, does he just suspend the game? Can't send 'em all off

Friend just said of Odegaard during the national anthem “That’s the most Norwegian man I’ve ever seen” and I cannot tell you how delighted I was to know the camera was about to pan to Haaland

Sending this to my ex to prove that men can change

The Chad Mo Salah sujud celebration vs. the Virgin Emam Hashour fucking… stupid Conor McGregor walk thing

That would be the highest rating of the tournament so far from 40-year old Vozinha vs. Spain. I'm crying

Look it's pretty hard to see this as anything other than a cooked, out-of-touch government trying to find a win when you're banning Facebook for under-16s (Oh no, they'll be heartbroken) but not Discord or any other gaming platforms when we know Roblox etc are already used for grooming?

Diomande is fast, likes to cut inside, can play off the right, has a brilliant eye for a pass, and had one of the best defenders in the Premier League on toast for 45 minutes. So there's barely a 1% chance that deal will happen this summer

Some leap, this

ITV are using “Love Takes Miles” in their studio coverage???

Brings me no pleasure to say that this USMNT look pretty mustard

Alright I’m a Wrexham fan, but that’s enough now. That’s enough cutting to Ryan Reynolds in the stands. You get one for a goal and that’s it

Jovo Lukic implies the existence of Luka Jovic. Wait

Andros Townsend is a fantastic reader of the game of football, it's just a shame that judging by his Instagram he's also a reader of the works of RFK Jr

Spursy.

They're calling it the most obviously AI-generated take of all time in the BBC Sport comments section

Being into video games can be so undignified. What do you mean the next instalment in Sony's tentpole franchise stars a gelatinous cube voiced by Jack Quaid

Ok. So I went to the dentist and it was bad news. I got hit with a big bill. Any help would be greatly appreciated. gofund.me/5770fb997

Arsenal, so far, completing 1 pass per minute. Long afternoon

Well, then

More group chat bits that took me too long

Find it mad how despite gate receipts having a minimal impact on revenue, the NBA is more lucrative than the Premier League while having comparatively small stadiums. There are seven teams in League ONE with bigger grounds than the biggest NBA one

Primary problem with OCD is that in my experience the worst intrusive thoughts usually occur in mundane situations so suddenly brushing your teeth becomes a mission in avoiding the Horror Vortex

Don't plan on seeing The Mandalorian but I think it's great how Star Wars has names for basically every species you see *except* the one Yoda and Grogu belong to. They're just little green freaks, don't worry about it

Big OCD flare-up overnight but have also confirmed a catsitting gig for the first three weeks of June so who's to say if this Bank Holiday is a disaster or not yet

🔴 Wes Streeting has said that Palantir is “absolutely critical to the future of the NHS.” But Palantir’s £330m NHS platform is “slow an clunky” and eight to ten times slower at analysing data than the current NHS tool in use Massive scoop on Democracy for Sale: open.substack.com/pub/democrac...

England squad selection day always funny because it must be nice supporting a country where there are enough good players to pick from that some inevitably miss out

I guarantee you I will find a way. www.theguardian.com/football/202...

Premier League champion

I'm far too online because I saw this and was immediately like "Well, no."

WHY has Diamond Jubilee still not clicked for me. It's been two years. I feel I need to be taken to some sort of muso re-education camp

How many video games have I explained the mechanics of to my therapist, at this point

Keir mate I actually need a spare for tomorrow's five-a-side so this is perfect timing

Too hot today

Real epidemic of people spelling "knobhead" without the K going around. How do we expect people to take this country seriously

Men etc etc too emotional to play football etc etc

Do you think when they hire two babies to portray one in a film that the two baby actors have ever made friends in later life

In five minutes in Soho the other day I saw a famous advice columnist and her boyfriend looked exactly how I expected him to. Then I saw that guy who makes silly videos with his wife and has extremely milquetoast opinions about films. AND THEN I SAW BIG JOHN

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdQA... Fijne Konigsdag voor alles de Nederlandse hogs out there

Neoliberalism's greatest win is that in their fight against communism, Thatcher and Reagan found a way to murder just as many of their enemies as the communists without anyone actually holding the knife, and it's probably the thing they're least comfortable with people noticing

You know when you finally listen to something and it feels like it's altering your brain chemistry in real time