All I'm saying is if you call yourself "ICE agents" you shouldn't stand around while streets and sidewalks are un-plowed. Chop chop, suckers.

Just prepare yourself mentally now: you WILL get jabbed by an ornament hook at some point in the next two months.

I don’t stay anywhere I’m not wanted lol.

Why come there's never any black Friday deals on my mortgage? I'm Black. It's Friday. 🤷🏾‍♂️

Fumblr: A site where men can (consensually) post a pic of a baddie they were talking to and share a cautionary tale of how they messed up.

I tell you another thing that sucks about living in a building full of strictly unmelanated peoples: everybody’s cooking and everything smells like straight trash.

I get so self-conscious when people are whispering around me. Like, I don't care what you're talking about. I'm now preoccupied with trying to visibly communicate that I'm not listening while the "pspspsps" assaults my ears.

Nothing but respect for my AEW Men's World Champion.

I'm glad to be proven wrong, but I feel like Wonder Woman deserves a better arch-nemesis than "woman who likes cat becomes cat."

I wonder if I have a future in newscasting…🤔 www.tiktok.com/t/ZTrdNcAGQ/

You get it? Get it! www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/8366...

C'mere, Valve. I just wanna talk... @valvesoftware.com

This is what you stand for @siriusxmprog.bsky.social?

How much do manicures cost these days? I'm tryna surprise her.

Ruth E Carter. That is all.

I just want some damn fine coffee. www.homesandgardens.com/celebrity-st...

All of em???

A new hand touches the bacon

"Dua Lipa" is just "Tulip" from a certain point of view.

Me to my younger co-worker after watching the Rock Hall of Fame inductions: "Do people... ENJOY DojaCat?"

I am the king of elevator small talk

They're on at least "Take Fifteen" by this point. variety.com/2025/gaming/...

Many of you have brothers. Some of them may even be talented. None are as talented as mine!

Today's vocal stim: The way Tress MacNeille says "Flavio" when she voices one of the Hip Hippos from Animaniacs.

"Doctor, you can take the bedpan! This one's over!" W... What!? 😂 #LeafsForever

“Be the smoke you want to see in the world” really just blessed me. Amen.

Looking at these exit polls and once again... www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/2208...

Protip: If someone you're interested in sends you pics you've already received, still hype them up like you're seeing them for the first time. Lack of enthusiasm could get you cut off.

Mavity

Once you gossip to me about someone else’s business in the office, that’s a wrap on you hearing about my life.

I don’t want to be love bombed, by I wouldn’t say no to an “affection assault.”

Children tear-gassed. Teenagers tackled to the ground. Bellingcat analysed footage of clashes between federal officers and civilians after a judge issued a restraining order on crowd-control tactics in Illinois: www.bellingcat.com/news/2025/10...

Jealousy is an ugly thing.

Hey Siri, play “Meet The Grahams”

In the audience tonight is Charlotte Bennett, one of the 13 women that Andrew Cuomo is credibly alleged to have sexually harassed while they worked in his government. She can't speak for herself because Cuomo's lawyers have hounded her. So I confronted him.

Now let’s go to Vučević for the post-game interview. #ChicagoBulls #SeeRed

A nail-bíter, but an opening night win for the Bulls. CHICAGO!!! #SeeRed

Everything in my shop is on sale including shirts for just $16. You can even grab the "Jet Beauty of the Week" design on a throw pillow. Or mug. Or tote. Or... www.teepublic.com/user/mpchiguy

Nothin else for it

You know what words could heal this nation? "BRANDI CARLILE FEAT LUDACRIS"

Sorry, Keke. I don’t rock with Aziz. We’ll catch you in the next one.

Tomorrow is "Remember Why They Got The Boot" Day

This shirt I designed may be too much of a deep cut. You have to be of a certain age and from Chicago to understand fully. If you rock with it though, it's on sale. www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/8186...

This shirt I designed may be too much of a deep cut. You have to be of a certain age and from Chicago to understand fully.

Funny how we live in a world full of cameras and no one has managed to film any of this so-called violence against ICE agents. Yeah. Funny.

It is Thursday.

Apparently there's a Transformers comic releasing now where Optimus Prime pulls a Revolver Ocelot/Liquid Snake with Megatron's arm???

I say this as a fan of the films: I feel like everyone who wanted Back to the Future merch has it by now.