I'm such a slut :(

He got me rlly drubk

Dysphoria is going to kill me. I feel disfigured and uncanny, I'm hyper aware of every single bone in my grotesque body and every inch of my saggy stretched out skin.... being in a body is fucking horrifying I genuinely can't stand this

I can't sleep

I just want to be pretty so fucking bad... I hate everything about myself how I act how I talk the things I do and like, and most of all my gender and body and face... I want to be pretty and feminine but I just don't work hard enough at it... I keep eating and not taking proper care of myself

How do I deal with being irredeemably ugly?? This is me at like my HIGHEST potential... makeup, mask, flattering lighting, and I still don't look good. I look like a disgusting fat creep man larping as a girl. I just don't know what to do anymore I just want to be normal and look human

I love all of u ❤️💕💗 evry last 1 of u deserve happiness and love and to have a really happy n fun holiday!!!! <3

My bf will b here on the 20th!!!

Yesterday b4 we went onstage ts other lady was like "Omg I love ur skirt! Wow, I wish I looked that good!" And idk what's wrong with me but I literally pretended not to hear her 😭 I genuinely thought she was being sarcastic or making fun of me or that she just said it cuz she clocked me :/

I'm not pretty or skinny enough to act the way I do

I have 2 final exams tomorrow. If I fail, I WILL commit suicide. I can't waste any more time and money. If I can't do this one simple thing and I'm not even nice to look at then I shouldn't live.

I'm not even a girl. I'm completely worthless. Not killing myself should be a fucking crime, nobody this disgusting and worthless deserves to live, yet alone to eat.

i’m such a fat fucking chud

Everything's just so pointless

Thinking abt ts kid in scouts when I was a kid... he was my friend but he was scary. He woukd come up to me and like violently grope my g3nit@ls... and one time he threw a wooden knife he made at my forehead and I had a lump on my head for months. I hope he's doing OK... clearly smthing was going on

Cvt. I hate myself so fucking much. I've never seen a more disgusting human being

I've literally been binging nonstop for the past week. I need to die I can't focus on anything and it's finals week I wanna die

I wish my dad treasured me like he treasures my sister... my uncle hit on me right in front of him and he said nothing...

I'm completely overwhelmed I feel paralyzed

Omfg where are all these bruises coming from?? Who's beating me in my sleep???

I just need to be dead

I get panic attacks so fucking easily....

I just want to be a better person

He acts like I ⭐️ve myself even though I eat PLENTY. My brain just won't shut up cuz I have a binge eating disorder and a food addiction

OmFG my bf is trying to make me eat more I can't I can't

I just can't focus on anything I can't study I can't get myself up so go to class most days I just don't know what to do all I think about is FOOD I'm literally fucking addicted to food, it's DISGUSTING

I'm so fucking miserable miserable I'm gonna fail all my fucking classes and I'm never gonna lose enough weight to be pretty

I wanna join :3

December 1st Popcorn - est 600 Apples (2) 180 Total = 780 Steps = 3723

Weighed in at 125 this morning, meaning I lost 4.4 LBS since November 1st. Not bad, but I can do better

Ooh the struggle

reading abt ana in my anthropology class 😭

"im so fat i need to lose weight" *eats* "im so fat i need to lose weight" *eats* "im so fat i need to lose weight" *eats* "im so fat i need to lose weight" *eats* "im so fat i need to lose weight" *eats* "im so fat i need to lose weight" *eats* 🔄🔄🔄🔄🔄🔄🔄

I just want to be pretty... I just need to put in the work and restrict and exercise and learn how to take care of my hair and nails properly... it's just so overwhelming:( if I was actually a girl most of this would come naturally and I would've been taught it :(

Do I look cute and normal and innocent in this fit or do I look like a freak pervert who likes being tied up I can't tell

My ex (r@pist) is on this bus with be kill ne kill me killme

Fasting till Wednesday night. If I fail I slit my whore pig throat

I'm a disgusting, MONSTEROUS person and it shows on my body. If I was nice and likeable and friendly and not a piece of shit I could lose the weight. I clearly don't have an eating disorder at all. I clearly don't even want to be pretty the way I let myself eat. No more food. 🐷🐖🐷🐖

I deserve to die

November 24th Was up at like 4:30 today thanks to insomnia. Running on 1 hour of sleep and immediately binged my way up to 750 cals (Approx).... gonna fast for the rest of the day or just have some fruit for dinner. NOT going past 900 today Ashlee!!!!

Woke up at 12 and haven't been able to fall asleep since.... it's 4:23 rn.... I hate insomnia so fucking much this is HELL IM IN HELL

Why do I keep getting random ahh bruises 😭😭

November 23rd Pourridge 4 breakfast = 160 My hair is absolutely disgusting today :( I washed and blowdried last night, wtf happened... I hate being ugly sfm

November 22nd Had 2 apples, a bunch of Strawberries, and a turkey sandwich today. 630. I need to end the binge cycle.

November 20th Grilled cheese for breakfast (possible omad) 300 cal. Staying home from school again :( but I'm gonna study and do all my assignments and readings

Wasn't locked in enough... binged again

Feeling better today and can come back to school.... thank God, I rlly can't be missing classes...

Locking back in.