New Year songs are better than Christmas songs. www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJll...

My first eight books are finishing yet another year out of print, thanks to the discovery of a gaping hole in my royalty statements. I'll never stop being angry about this.

It was never in doubt: my Book of the Year award goes to Rishi Dastidar's magnificently relentless 'A Hobby of Mine'.

Don't miss today's NYT Connections, fans of... one of the answers. That's you, by the way.

In my universe Ben Moor is a national treasure. He's on The Wheel, he cuts the ribbons of new hospitals, and he politely declines royal honours. BBC2 is planning a Ben Moor Night. Whichever universe you're in, if you go to his shows and read his books your life will improve.

In my universe Ben Moor is a national treasure. He's on The Wheel, he cuts the ribbons of new hospitals, and he politely declines royal honours. BBC2 is planning a Ben Moor Night. Whichever universe you're in, if you go to his shows and read his books your life will improve.

The deep state seems to be trying to convince us that Keeping the Dream Alive is, and has always been, a Christmas song. Maintain your resolve.

All that money their parents spent on their education and they write a song called Fake Plastic Trees.

The time has come...

The new MCU generation is shaping up nicely.

I concede that everyone who bent my ear about Watchmen over the last four decades was right. It's ace. Forbidden Planet is selling for £6.20, along with the rest of the excellent DC Compact Comics line. I don't see how anyone can be making any money, but that's up to them. £6.20!

If you are at all concerned about your blood pressure, look away now.

I've not heard them all, but I reckon the best song in the first quarter of this century must surely be Ghosts by Siobhan Donaghy.

The people who run the company are both sinister and pathetic. [Bearing in mind they've been caught sending legal letters to poetry correspondents I don't think they have the credibility to dispute this.]

I did watch this over the weekend. They really could not make it today. Very silly but plenty of fun. Entirely obvious what was going to happen after the opening five minutes, and all the better for it.

It's this weekend or never. I'm not sure you people deserve me.

It's this weekend or never. I'm not sure you people deserve me.

Why does everything have to have a happy ending these days?

Solid work from Frenchy here.

I see Canongate Books has reached the 'sending legal letters to poetry critics' leg of its #kindness journey.

People in the book trade think I go around looking for trouble, but I really don't. If anything I'm like Kendo Nagasaki.

Unless there's something wrong with you www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

25 years since Mynci 2000.

The Profanisaurus in the current Viz is even better than usual.

Not read Private Eye for years because of their accursed book pages, but Dumb Britain still haunts me. I bet it's not changed. PRESENTER: In Greek Mythology, who was the father of Megapenthes, Pleisthenes and Aethiolas? CONTESTANT: Agamemnon.

I've been to Eliza Carthy and John Boden's wassailing show, so Christmas has officially begun.

Listen, right – after sitting there for years, the wonderfully peculiar they-couldn't-make-it-today Cary Grant & Shirley Temple film Bachelor Knight is only going to be on the iplayer for another 17 days. Don't miss it. www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

New music from the mighty @advancebase.bsky.social

I should be making all sorts of hay out of these kind words about Gold from the traitor Alan Carr, but there's not much point as it's been unavailable for years thanks to... *checks notes*... significant financial discrepancies at the publishing house.

Anybody else dressing up as John Mitchinson for Hallowe'en?

Who would have thought it would come to this? Looked so good on paper...

Just been to see Stewart Lee's new show. Catch it if you can. We were asked not to take photos, but the temptation was too great...

I'm putting a lot of work into this. If you don't buy it when it comes out, you are dead to me. Spring 2026. c.£20.

Watch this.

I'm still in the game, people. Still in the game.

Spread the word around, Guess who's back in town...

Once again I fail in my intention to wait for the paperback of the latest Mick Herron.

For four years I've been visualising Aldi stocking a cardboard-and-can 0% lager. If your dreams aren't coming true, you only have yourself to blame. Visualise harder from now on.

Discovering the DIY travelogues of @cummingsyourway.bsky.social

Almost nobody openly criticises the eminently criticisable publishing racket. Sam's account is a breath of fresh air – well worth a follow if you are in or around the biz.

RIP John Woodvine. His Ralph Nickleby was one of the best things that's ever been on telly. He also wins the award for the most unexpected person I ever saw at a Pixies concert – Harlesden Mean Fiddler, 1991.

My Sunday evening challenge: first person to post a cartoon which they drew several years ago about Cyril Connolly is the winner. 5-4-3-2-1... I WIN

36 years after the first time, I'm off to see the mighty Edwyn Collins for the last time.

While you were slumped on the sofa eating crisps and watching Top of the Pops repeats, we were down the Arts Centre watching some real-life regular stars of the show.

Knocked Up is on BBC1 tonight. Don't miss the best scene in the history of film:

If you don't yet have a favourite Grandmaster, I recommend Mikhail Tal. The Gainsbourg of chess.