If the rapture affects the release date of Hades 2 on Switch, I'll be very upset.

You know you're fucking up a text when your phone is like "Hey man, do you wanna just say it to us in your native language and we'll translate into English for you?"

You don't have to condone murder to celebrate one. If I celebrated him dying from cancer, nobody would accuse me of endorsing cancer.

I feel like every animal should have got their own nip.

Refugees in Kenya have died at food distribution centers, officials noted, including a pregnant woman crushed to death during a stampede. Aid workers said they expected more people to get hurt “as vulnerable households become increasingly desperate.” (Published May 2025)

Alright, I'm not gonna endorse the conspiracy theories that he's secretly dead, but I'm willing to bet he's at least using the autopen.

Republicans are awfully proud of the way they moved Cracker Barrel's stock price from $62 to $55 by throwing a hissy fit. But, like, the younger, more progressive generation that they're so scared of managed to move it from $175 to $62 just by not wanting to eat there.

We've reached this weird place where the most patriotic thing an American could really do at this point is burn an American flag.

1. Indiscriminately deport non-white people as publicly as possible. 2. Take over cities with large Democratic majorities. 3. Place military/ICE presence at or near polling stations. 4. End mail-in voting. 5. Profit.

Social media teaches us a lot about ourselves. Like, for example, without social media, I'd never even have suspected that my favorite thing in the world to watch is people mowing lawns in fast motion.

He missed me SO MUCH.

Fun fact: Apparently the TSA is allowed to sexually violate people over computer glitches, and they don't even have to apologize.

It's weird that the news is framing it as "Dow Jones hits record high" rather than "Dow Jones finally catches up to where it already was when Trump started with all his tariff bullshit."

Alaska makes a master photographer out of all of us.

Trump is doing everything he can to spark a huge protest to galvanize (read: terrify) his base. That's not to say people shouldn't protest -- or even riot at this point -- but we also need to recognize his motives.

@chriswarcraft.bsky.social What team do you think has the best kicker/punter combo?

The sky says it's 7pm. The clock says it's 11pm. My body says it's 3am. Alaska might take some getting used to.

I just heard my "it's not our fault, it's the tariffs" ad; a Toyota ad that basically said "Look, we're building the fucking things in your country, but we buy materials from all over the world because that's where the goddamn materials are. Toyota: It's not our fault you elected a dipshit."

How the fuck are we gonna have a Trump presidential fitness test? What are you gonna have to do? Cheat at golf and lie about your height?

He's using the threat of nuclear war to distract from his scandal, y'all. This is way stupider than the end of the world was supposed to be. Who knew that the most accurate cinematic prediction of the apocalypse would be Dr. Strangelove?

Bureau of Labor Statistics: "Yeah, it turns out that you can't fire your way into there being more jobs." Trump: "You're fired."

I'm really sick of headlines like "Trump announces trade deal with (Country X)." If a headline starts with "Trump announces," it might as well start with "Magic 8 Ball predicts" ... except that sometimes the Magic 8 ball gets it right.

Don't worry, y'all. I'm sure the algorithm that's perpetually convinced I'm a morbidly obese, Christian black lady in her thirties will nail this.

For what it's worth, I'm perfectly happy to let him be the Senator for Georiga.

I found the ugliest thing and I had to share it with you.

I'm happy to see the tide turning and all, but the fact that 44% of us don't draw the line at masked agents of the state abducting people off the street and putting them in concentration camps with no legal recourse is the real story. americasvoicecnn.substack.com/p/the-more-a...

I just got around to seeing Superman, and thus I'm only now realizing how far gone you really have to be to think it's "woke."

Sad to hear of Ozzy's passing. The cause of death hasn't been released yet, so I'm still kind of hoping a bat bit his head off.

How enshrined into American law is Christian privilege? We call its exclusion "separation of church and state." Not "religion and state," not "mosque and state" or "synagogue and state." CHURCH and state. They're unfairly included even in their exclusion.

Okay, so after I posted this, American Airlines delayed my flight by 3 hours and counting. I feel like they read this and now they're pissed.

American Airlines is excited to announce that, for the first time in their 99 year history, they had a flight take off on time. Not one of mine, but still. Very exciting.

It's been a lot of fun watching the IMDb rating average for Leap 3 drop as more and more of our listeners watch it in advance of the live show.

It never fails to amaze me how much of the off season prognostication among NFL pundits boils down to "I bet last year happens again."

As a guy who cries at everything, I like this a lot.

Trump is now being ratio’ed on his own website for telling his supporters to stop caring about the Epstein files.

We walked in the door this evening and found Leela like this:

Don't worry, fellow rural Americans. We'll still have the concept of a hospital.

Okay, so the dude puts his beliefs into a computer and the computer is immediately like "Oh, I'm Robo-Hitler, got it." How the fuck are there still people who still don't see that he's a super villain?

When we turn "Do Not Disturb Mode" off on our phones, we don't even call the resulting state "Disturb Mode." I think we should be more honest with ourselves.

Lucinda and I are lucky enough to have a trip to Anchorage, Alaska coming up next month. So, for anybody who lives in the area or who has visited there before, what are the must dos if you're there for a week? Outdoor activities preferred.

Apparently Elon thought the problem was that he didn't get involved ENOUGH in politics.

Hey, I haven't heard, is Trump rushing military personnel to aid the flood victims in Texas the way he did for Alligator Auschwitz or people in LA protesting his administration?

Republicans sure are behaving like a bunch of people who aren't worried about free and fair elections in the future, aren't they?

They created their own gestapo and I complained about it on my podcast. They opened up concentration camps and I tweeted about it. They stole healthcare from millions of Americans for the sake of billionaires and I angry-face reacted. My rage feels so damn impotent.

I think it's important for non-fascist Americans to recognize that we're not "losing" our country, we lost it. We can no longer save it. At this point we have to win it back.

I even snack like an atheist, dammit.

Sure, Republicans will die because of the healthcare they'll lose under this bill, but they'll die AT US, which makes it acceptable, apparently.

In Ross Douthat's "Believe," he's discussing how he actually knows more about the universe than all those silly astronomers with their silly telescopes. In that chapter, he describes Earth as "the fourth planet from a minor sun." (p.24) The rest of the research seems about as thorough.

Him: "Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship." Me: "So you support same sex relationships, then?"

I posted a video of my local No Kings protest on Facebook, and there's a Republican lady in the comments who's been making "we don't care about your protests" comments on it for two weeks now, sure that somehow the 231st will be the one that convinces us.