Pssst… hey, you… Don’t waste your time trying to be normal. Normal is a lie people hide behind when they’re scared. Be a brave weirdo.

Country ain’t dead, y’all.

That sound you hear is Storm Thurmond in hell, begging Satan to turn the tv off.

“Christian School” sounds like it ought to be an oxymoron… y’know, like “Wealthy Church.” Oh, shit…

Can anyone in the GOP go one day without obsessing over genitalia? I don’t even mean 24 hours, just breakfast to bedtime, without thinking about other people’s junk? It’s like they’re all perverts or something.

You know what I haven’t heard anything about for the last couple weeks? People in Ohio eating cats and dogs. I mean, it was all over the news back in October, but now it’s like it never even happened. Weird, right?

Not gonna lie, I’m an old guy, and it took a while to get my head around the whole pronouns thing. I chose to see it as another chance to scrub some ugly archaic crud out of my brain that I didn’t need to carry around. Thanks, kiddos. 🖤

Seeing more familiar names here every day… we accept you, one of us…

So far, this place is how I expect the afterlife to be. “I thought a lot of my friends were here already, but I can’t find them.”

THIS fuckin’ guy…

Okay, I’m here… when do we eat?