Apparently Eros leaked today, but it feels wrong to listen to it to me

My autistic ass about to run for president just to issue an executive order that every grocery store has to carry the mashed-potato smiley-face tater tots

“Get outta my area”

Field of blackeyed Susans

Kansas in the summer, baby

The best part about the summer solstice is that the days start getting shorter again

Watching a movie about the Mongols hordes’n’horsery

Apparently my sister in law has been digging through my FB and reporting back to my mom in ways that are wildly incorrect, and I’m not really sure why, so I’ve been having to set the (very low-stakes) record straight this evening

This is fun

Just heard the phrase “steak spoon” used to describe a foolish person, and that’s going right into regular rotation immediately

There should be an Easter-themed zombie movie based on Matthew 27:52-53

53 today/26 today

Christians think this is Noah’s Ark bcz most of them haven’t seen what it actually resembles

Forget bananas, here’s the hat

Howard the Duck/Event Horizon crossover

Thinking about putting my snakebites back in; I found my studs when I was moving

Look, Mr Extreme, I support public art as much as anyone, but my kids go to preschool across the street; maybe there’s a better place for your pornograffiti-somewhere up the block perhaps? I hear Prince has a bridge *for graffiti*, and I feel like he’d be into this whole deal

Hi gang. We hit a Snafu this weekend and could use a little bit of grocery/gas money if you're feeling generous. www.paypal.com/paypalme/the...

Imagining a magazine called Quality Quarterly with a column dedicated to QA “badasses”, complete with tabloid-style pull quotes- “I rejected 3000 rubber whatsits- over a single scuff!”- In the World of Rubber Whatsits, Piscine Wanamaker Takes No Prisoners!

Humanity has had “big dumb hat” covered for awhile now

Big Originals Restock - Marsh Pit Cardigan restocking this Friday June 19th at 5pm est! #frog

New things I have been pled with this week to say less, or even not at all: 1) cream of cannoli 2) baloney zamboni

We have a new QA head whose attitude towards their new job is “nobody gets to tell me SHIT”, and I want to call them Discipline Daddy to their face every time I see them but I also don’t want to have to find a new job so soon after moving

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Sewer Grate Adventure at Six Flags

Sluggerrr taking in the Kauffman Stadium views 🦁

Leaving a medicine cabinet in the alley in the hopes that a small boy will find it and put a plastic figurine inside

The Portland Male-Gazers

Insane in the membrane Insane in the Krang

Odelay turned 30 today

I’m going to be so glad when this week is over

AVAILABLE. Dyed on a Comfort Colors tag size 2XL. Fits in between XL & 2XL at 25" x 29.25". 60 shipped, DM to obtain 🫡 Dyes used: Powder Pink, Sweet Pea, Cornflower Blue, Hot Pink, Plum, and Lilac. All dyes over ice. All dyes from Dharma Trading Company except Lilac (Jacquard).

I am unreasonably annoyed at how much goddamn “out drivin’ around” traffic there is for a fucking Wednesday in a town where Walmart is the only thing still open

Name a TV show you're positive no one remembers but you.

It would be so much funnier if Spider-Man’s webs came out of his ass

Buffy the Vampire Spayer

Whole bunch of snails I saw last night after it rained

President Make-a-Wish

Marital arts

My boss is kind of an idiot. The man has no capacity for adapting to variables or understanding anything other than what is written on a piece of paper, and cannot seem to fathom how conditions might change and render his written-down expectations unworkable. A brain like hard rubber

I’m at work today but I have so much to do with this move still and I’m so tired

With a retro look and T9 texting, the Commodore Callback 8020 smart flip phone taps into the nostalgic yearning for simpler days. It can run Spotify and Uber, but Instagram is blocked. www.wired.com/story/commod...

BAM! food for ages

It was really undersold to me how you can straight up come out onto the deck bare ass when it’s dark and there’s not enough light or the right eyeline for anyone to see you

This is some bubbly bubble bath

Just ordered an area rug I saw on FB that popped up in the Shop app as costing $0.00 with free shipping, let’s see if I actually get it

Gonna paint the bedroom this color-

Some other little cool stuff about my new place

I’m on the deck!

I’m finally moving stuff in! Unsurprisingly, the first things to go upstairs were- 1) my girl’s work clothes 2) my shoes 3) my coats & jackets 4) bath supplies 5) coffee & pot