Trying to explain what the fishbowl effect is to people who've never worn glasses is fun. But the new glasses ARE better, definitely.

Certain politicians are all flustered and noisy about other countries having access to nuclear weapons but seemingly have forgotten that AMERICA is the only country that has deployed them against another nation.

Remember, on this day, one who died to save us all and rose again to great rejoicing. #FirstContactDay

I still consider the premise of the episode "Darmok" extremely clever and imaginative, but from a purely linguistics viewpoint, I can't even BEGIN to imagine how one could realistically have a language evolve that way. Picard's recitation of the Epic of Gilgamesh is still freaking legend, though.

Granite is a gneiss rock. #rimshot

Hey, you know why the deer couldn't cross the toll road? Because she was a buck short.

So, we had a Persian kitty come in who looked like Wilfred Brimley. And I had to Google who that was for younger coworkers. Because I am middle aged. It's my birthday, by the way.

Good morning to our armed service members who should be reminded that you not only have the right, you have a moral OBLIGATION to refuse illegal orders.

I quit my job to pursue archeology. Now my career is in ruins.

My new phone case arrived, so now I have a nice sturdy one that ISN'T held together with superglue and tape! Look, it makes ME happy, okay?

Could someone inform perpetual has-been Rob Schneider that one of the most famous children's hospitals in the world, the Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital in London, was established in 1852? Y'know WELL BEFORE his birth year of 1963?

I'm glad that I had the foresight to visit the toilet before settling into this chair because the 60+ pound dog currently sprawled on me has started snoring, so I don't think he plans to move any time soon. It's also good that it's currently October. He's very much a little canine space heater.

Portland looks pretty fucking rad, no lie.

Another coworker wore a mushroom patterned outfit and accessories today. I asked if she was trying to be a fun guy to the general amusement of all.

So, I had a coworker who was looking up contact information for a Dr. Alison Snow who has a dental practice in Cumming, GA. Turns out there's a right way and a very, VERY wrong way to enter that particular search into Google.

I move that Americans commemorate the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to MLK on October 14th, 1968. THAT is a worthwhile thing to celebrate on that particular day.

"Oh my God, you're so nice!" This was one of my coworkers upon realizing that I almost invariably preface or close requests to the office Alexa with "please" or "thank you."

So I heard about this guy who decided to enter a punning contest and came up with different ones hoping that at least one of them would win. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

First week at new job down. I'd forgotten how nice it is to have management treat one like a capable adult.

Oh, and I start my new job on Monday. *quiet squees of joy given that I'm currently in a library*

Delightful older woman at the library asked what I was knitting, received a catnip mouse, and gleefully let me know that her cat's birthday is actually this month, so utterly perfect timing right there

One of the library staff asked what I was knitting and was delighted to get a catnip mouse in answer.

Been seriously enjoying this preview of Fall and I wish to subscribe to the full version.

Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded? Yeah, de-brie was everywhere.

Reed Richards comes across as an autistic-coded character, right? It's not just me seeing that?

I don't like summer. I know it's gotta happen, but I don't like it. You can wring out the damn air like a sponge here.

People are actually asking why Superman would bother saving a squirrel. Um, because he's Superman and he CAN? #Kindnessistherealpunkrock

Sweaty Captain Janeway with a phaser rifle and a sleeveless top still does Exciting Things to my brain. #fullyautomatedluxuryqueerspacecommunism #badassjanewayishottestjaneway

I had a client inform me that her dog was all excited for their upcoming annual visit because they apparently remembered me as the nice lady who's always happy to provide skritches and is very generous with the treats. No lie. It gave me the warm fuzzies.

I happened to mention to my mom about Superman being vulnerable to magic and she goes, "I thought it was Kryptonite?" "Well, yes, that too." So this leads to a brief rundown about Superman's vulnerabilities AND how he gets his powers from our yellow sun and probably more than she wanted to know.

Superman would still be Superman without his powers because his powers were never what MADE him Superman to begin with. If you don't get that, you don't get Superman at ALL. #kindnessistherealpunkrock

Do you know how you stop Canadian bacon from curling? You take away its little broom.

Superman was AMAZING. Krypto is very much the Goodest Boy and my dude Clark shows us that kindness isn't outdated in the slightest, it's essential to all of us.

I would really like the universe to give me a fucking break. Is that so much to ask?

Apparently people don't know that the Catholic Church officially has a Moon Bishop. And I feel that's a fact people should know.

Wound up having a brief conversation entirely in Spanish with a native Spanish speaker. Not gonna lie, I was pretty thrilled that my Spanish skills were actually up to it.

I was talking to someone who didn't realize that yesterday was the solstice and I made a Daisy Buchanan joke and they totally didn't get it. Dammit, do people just not read The Great Gatsby anymore?

Informed a small child that "Tienes una sonrisa muy bonita," which made her and her mom very pleased. I was also pleased that my Spanish didn't fail me right then.

Cancelling the whole "perade" would've been a hell of a lot less humiliating. However I did wake the cat up with my loud cackling at the squeaking tank video, so that was fun.

So, uh, I knitted a catnip filled cat toy and...yeah, it's meant to represent exactly what you think it's supposed to represent.

Won't SOMEONE think of the pasty sorority girls with no knowledge of actual American history? Wherever shall they get married NOW?

Read the alt text, my dears. Because it's ALL TRUE.

Mentioned that it was Shakespeare's 461st birthday at work today and one of my coworkers just shakes her head and goes, "Yes, of course you would know that."

Apparently my coworkers were surprised by me being willing to hang out for a bit after closing so a client could pick up her cellphone that she'd left behind accidentally. It just seemed courteous to me. Plus, I had a book.

So I want to find a relatively simple knitted narwhal pattern. Unfortunately I'm finding a ton of really cute arigumi patterns, but I'm horrible at crochet.

Sometimes all a girl really wants is a rock to wind a string around.

A client mentioned that I had a pretty singing voice today. I kind of needed to hear that.

The Time of the Pollening is upon us.

My biggest problem isn't figuring out where and when to start doing decreases on this baby hat I'm knitting, but it's definitely the most preferable to turn my attention to.

A cat goes the vet and says "meow." The vet says, "Yes, I know, but you still have to tell me where." #dadjokesofbluesky