Hungies, who wants a midnight canes order

Me if I was a bear

Being manager is crazy because why are you mad at me for telling you to do your job that you get paid for 😭

Cleaning lady at work said I had pretty hair and a beautiful accent that was French/german (but maybe it’s fagcent coming through)

Am dumb but not pathetic

Love being gay

Is this valid for a Thursday

Really gonna graduate with two degrees in two months.. when does the shoe drop 🤨

The way it’s been a month hiiii

Applied to (one) internship will kms if I don’t get accepted because I can’t do the job searching 🫩

Woke up to no boner 🙏

Went to my first concert yesterday 😌

Hi hello good moanin

Sorry to the oomfies I haven’t replied to, you do not want me I promise 🙂‍↔️

Who wanna come over and stare at each other with sexual tension

“How are you single?” Because I like men 😭

Getting happier, sexier, smarter, funnier, and richer yup yup

Getting both my degrees in December, I’m so excited to make money and not work all the time 😩😩

What if I said that

I think we should post ourselves being happy more often

Fighting the urge to doomscroll and winning

Are big tongues hot? Asking for a friend

“I’m from up north” and it’s Chicago..

I love being single, but I’m not a home wrecker !

Dl bi men are the weakest link... I said congrats a few weeks ago because now he has a girlfriend (his bm?) and he’s asking if I wanna come over because they’re not official 😐

Love some hehes and some hahas

Thank you to all my oomfies who keep me on their close friends list on insta even though I never post 🫦

May be entering top era… severe shortage in my area

My mom calling me ornery and argumentative.. like girl where do you think I got it from

This account is for the girls and gays

My coworker pissing me off because she’s such an over achiever BUT SHES NOT EVEN GOOD AT IT

Favorite day of the week for many reasons

I love a good excel file 😮‍💨

It’s scary when my posts find the straights on here… they’re a bit too okay with gay people

Are 30 year old men actually more mature, asking for a friend 🤥

I do not care about rich people problems, ohhhh your neighborhood private beach is being used by other people?? Awwww

No offense/shade but I’m not following you if you don’t have any pics of yourself 🫣

My dad keeps trying to mansplain simple things to me like I didn’t go to college for engineering 😑

One of my favorite hobbies is going around the house with wd40 and making everything squeak free

What I do 🧍‍♂️

Good moanin

Sleepy Sunday

Think the secret to staying healthy without trying is just to live like a European

When you’re ready for them to cum and leave already, but then they say I don’t wanna cum yet 😒

People who used to bartend love to tell the bartender that they used to bartend

Why is the rubber duck smoking gif not on here 😭 maybe we’re too woke

Seeing bloomfs flirt and knowing they took it to the dms after

Very much done with thirsting on social media I think

Would ask for birthday nudes but it’s not him 😔

Flirting like a straight man, brb