end times bacon
@endtimesbacon.bsky.social
📤 408
📥 85
📝 1795
FBI agents were told to flag any Epstein records with the word mushroom
pinned post!
Due to rising tariffs, Trump bibles will only have 1 Corinthian.
about 1 year ago
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President declares national day of prayer for his ballroom.
1 day ago
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From fireside chats to mean tweets, the President has always been a steady presence in uncertain times.
5 days ago
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Trump officials say they can build a stairway to heaven without congressional approval.
6 days ago
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President’s message for Rededicate 250 appears to be same as one he recorded for Chuck Grassley’s 250th birthday.
9 days ago
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Trump warns Iran he will send them a signed copy of The Final Countdown.
9 days ago
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Sen. Cassidy finished right behind hantavirus in Louisiana primary.
9 days ago
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Supreme Court upholds Virginia court’s ruling that democracy is undemocratic.
11 days ago
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“I only think about one thing. We cannot let Iran have the Epstein files.”
14 days ago
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Pentagon considers renaming Operation Epic Fury to Rocky 7.
14 days ago
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Klobuchar shares her secret for getting bloodstains out of mom jeans.
16 days ago
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CDC says doctors can smoke during open heart surgery.
16 days ago
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VA Supreme Court rules Hantavirus is eligible to vote in midterms.
18 days ago
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US adds 115,000 jobs In April as Bureau of Labor Statistics adds three zeros.
18 days ago
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Karoline Leavitt gives birth to baby without forked tongue.
19 days ago
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John Fetterman says he can’t see himself continuing in Hair Club for Men.
20 days ago
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War, famine, disease, ballroom.
20 days ago
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President thinks war in Iran could last until he’s removed from office.
21 days ago
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“I don’t understand how a modern democracy can have a king.” - John Yoo
25 days ago
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"People have more jobs than at any time in this country. Many have more than two."
26 days ago
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Iran was two weeks away from releasing the Epstein files.
28 days ago
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In DC, I’m working to provide a tax deduction for the first $400,000,000 spent on ballrooms.
29 days ago
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White House officials say Brett Kavanaugh was unharmed.
about 1 month ago
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No one will be allowed to leave White House Correspondents Dinner before submitting a written confession.
about 1 month ago
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Iran’s Foreign Minister has left the room.
about 1 month ago
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Gas is 4700% more expensive. Did you even thank the president?
about 1 month ago
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The Poles were aghast when their pocket squares failed to protect them in 1939.
about 1 month ago
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House Oversight Committee to investigate missing, dead scientists with no obvious connection to Epstein files.
about 1 month ago
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“They were one step away from asking Copilot how to build a nuclear weapon.”
about 1 month ago
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Fast fashion retailers are starting to make pants with larger pockets so you can carry around enough cash for gas.
about 1 month ago
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“Iran has agreed to show Melania in all theaters.”
about 1 month ago
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“Without this ballroom, no future dictator will be safe and secure.”
about 1 month ago
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Gas pumps are more likely to hit 50,000.
about 1 month ago
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When he launched this war, the President vowed regime change and “unconditional surrender,” but he’s still in the White House.
about 2 months ago
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Melania denies having any knowledge of Jeffrey Epstein collecting money from sailors for passage rites.
about 2 months ago
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Trump graciously invites the people of Iran to join him on Fifth Avenue.
about 2 months ago
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Trump says missing US airman, Frank Abagnale III, rescued in Iran is safe.
about 2 months ago
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White House signals downing of jets won’t impact imaginary negotiations with Iran.
about 2 months ago
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All F15-E Strike Eagles are being retrofitted with Mark Wahlberg’s prayer app.
about 2 months ago
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Earmark for miracle Chinese balm to regrow hair found in $1.5 trillion White House defense budget request.
about 2 months ago
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Thinking about dropping my home insurance, because Allstate refuses to help me rob a bank.
about 2 months ago
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White House has already filed an appeal to contest 2028 election results.
about 2 months ago
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Judge rules President must find somewhere else to store cyanide pills.
about 2 months ago
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House Republicans will move forward with their own bill to fund Democrat ad campaigns for the midterms.
2 months ago
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Dow slides 500 points after learning offshore team in Philippines is negotiating for US with Iran.
2 months ago
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Trump uses Cabinet meeting to prove he gets up before 10 am.
2 months ago
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President accidentally drops pacifier in the Strait of Hormuz.
2 months ago
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If Republicans wanted to Save America, they’d do something about the guy in the Epstein files starting wars.
2 months ago
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President confirms gas prices are the lowest he’s ever seen.
2 months ago
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White House evacuated after burning smell from Oval Office.
2 months ago
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In addition to being president, Donald can also ride horses and speak Portuguese.
2 months ago
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