end times bacon
@endtimesbacon.bsky.social
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📝 1341
FBI agents were told to flag any Epstein records with the word mushroom
pinned post!
Due to rising tariffs, Trump bibles will only have 1 Corinthian.
10 months ago
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“If Canada makes a deal with China, the first thing I will do is ban all episodes of Cheers with Jay Thomas.”
about 13 hours ago
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RFK Jr says it was a young intern that looks like him who suggested keto could cure schizophrenia.
3 days ago
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Lara Trump will sing during Super Bowl halftime show, unless NFL gives President one billion dollars.
4 days ago
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New York Times: It was unclear if Mr. Vance was aware the couch did not have a human vagina.
4 days ago
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RFK Jr claims schizophrenia can be cured by drinking Dr Pepper at 10, 2 and 3:14.
4 days ago
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“If they say I should be on Mt. Rushmore, that just means I made some lives better without shooting too many people.”
4 days ago
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“Instead of being locked up, he could be scrubbing my kitchen.”
4 days ago
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HHS is making an AI tool to generate hypotheses on how vaccines killed JFK.
6 days ago
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Senate powerhouse Mitch McConnell rushed to hospital after showing human emotions.
6 days ago
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Trump cancels Super Bowl for next two years during much needed renovations.
7 days ago
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President wants to hold the midterms in Venezuela, where he can ensure their integrity.
7 days ago
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To stay fit while lowering energy prices, Dr. Oz suggests seniors ride exercise bikes hooked in to the power grid.
7 days ago
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President says America will close for two years.
8 days ago
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Border Czar Tom Homan says ICE raids in Minnesota will only target residents and visitors of Minnesota.
12 days ago
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JD Vance says video clearly shows Minnesota protester was trying to run over CBP agents with his phone.
16 days ago
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DHS claims protester was using dangerous camera filter.
17 days ago
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DHS says man shot by federal agents was standing near gun.
17 days ago
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Thankfully, the five-year-old did not accidentally smile at ICE.
18 days ago
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Everyone does not want to know.
18 days ago
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Trump's Board of Peace to hold first meeting at Berlin State Opera during Jan 28 performance of Tosca.
19 days ago
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“Obviously, we’re not Nazis. Our uniforms are green.”
20 days ago
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Supreme Court announces John Roberts didn’t see his shadow today, so six more weeks of authoritarianism.
21 days ago
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ICE Agent who fatally shot Minnesota protestor suffered severe hand sprain from high-fiving with team.
26 days ago
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HHS reverses decision to cancel $2.2 billion in mental health services, after discovering President needs $2.2 billion of mental health services.
26 days ago
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Republicans removed from Congress will be forced to watch the Melania movie 10,000 times.
30 days ago
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Trump-Melania relations now stronger than US-Europe relations.
30 days ago
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Tony Doukopil travels across the country to find the best mirror In America.
about 1 month ago
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Trump tells Iran only he’s allowed to kill protestors.
about 1 month ago
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A rising tyrant shoots all boats.
about 1 month ago
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Trump administration announces new Assistant Attorney General position to convince voters Republicans aren’t crooks.
about 1 month ago
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Today I learned, when you stand next to a car, you are standing in front of It.
about 1 month ago
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Midnight Hammer was Dirk Diggler’s first film.
about 1 month ago
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“This is not the type of mission we can follow the Constitution on.” ~ Marco Rubio, US Secretary of State
about 1 month ago
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“If this Truth gets a million likes, I will invade Greenland.”
about 1 month ago
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White House confirms no Epstein files were harmed during Venezuela strike.
about 1 month ago
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White House releases photo of Situation Room during Venezuela strike.
about 1 month ago
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CBS Evening News to be replaced with classic episodes of Love American Style.
about 1 month ago
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Trump doesn’t rule out drone strikes on Minnesota day cares.
about 1 month ago
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Trump continues attacks on Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz following revelations his own poll numbers have hit rock bottom.
about 1 month ago
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Trump says National Guard will return to blue cities when they have enough EM-50s.
about 1 month ago
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So far, the only real healthcare plan Republicans have put forth is to hire more guards for Congressional baseball games.
about 1 month ago
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Marco Rubio tells Vanity Fair he has no desire to run against Trump in 2028.
about 2 months ago
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RFK Jr threatens to cut off funding to any hospitals that offer free cancer screenings.
about 2 months ago
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Trump signs Executive Order to invalidate forever stamps issued under Biden administration.
about 2 months ago
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Since Trump took office, Moland Springs’ sales have never been higher.
about 2 months ago
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CDC panel recommends parents stop feeding their babies after three months so they can learn to fend for themselves.
2 months ago
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Supreme Court rules pitchforks are reasonably priced.
2 months ago
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Rep. Nancy Mace is considering leaving Congress to spend more time with her driveway.
2 months ago
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Trump announces Proud Boys will hand out Tariff rebate checks in 2026.
2 months ago
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FDA claims vaccine shot killed JFK Jr.
2 months ago
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