I thought Descartes was that canned coffee that had that commercial of Anthony Head and that chick who were horny for each other. You know they were thirsting before thirsting was a thing but also they were thirsty, hence their needing some instant coffee to drink. Really makes you think...

TV show idea #1067 Patti Lupon-garou Broadway Werewolf Broadway legend Patti LuPone transforms into a wolf whenever an understudy sings off key and can only be defeated by throwing a Tony Award at her. Every episode she solves a wolf related crime. It's not a comedy. #oliviaco #humor #joke

Night of the Reaper 2025 (10/10) 💀 This movie is phenomenal. I came into it thinking it would be just a cookie cutter slasher flick. Nope, it's very well made, well acted, and well written. An instant Halloween classic. Put this on your watchlist. It's streaming on Shudder and AMC+. #horror #movie

I have so much emotional baggage, I had to buy another barrel of pickled herring to hide it behind. Now I need something to mask the smell of six barrels of pickled herring and my inability to accept change. . #oliviaco #writingcommunity #humor #joke

Sometimes I hear voices. Deep and menacing voices. Definitely not mine. I can tell the difference because mine is baratone with a lot of swish.

The Obvious Olivia Orator Observer Oline Edition for Wednesday October 1st. [3 parts] #OliviaCo #joke #humor #writingcommunity

Can I borrow somebody's MedBed? Mine is on the fritz. I keep waking up in the same tired old body.

I exaggerated about how bad my period was to get out of housework. One could say I was ovary acting. . . #OliviaCo #joke #writingcommunity #humor

What about the recently discovered Stenographersaurus? Buerocratus Rex? Typlodocus? Lawsoraptor? Archaeophthalmologyx? Souscheflodon? Frycookatops? Justatemplodon?

If Dwayne Johnson was a submissive, would he be Rock Bottom? I apologize for posting this.

#OliviaCo #humor #writingcommunity

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Anyone know what time the rapture is coming? I wanna take a nap first.

*person enters pet store* Salesperson: How may I help you? Customer: I need cat food. SP: How many cats do you have? C: None since breakfast. SP: Then why do you need the food? C: You never know when you'll have to catch your next breakfast. *scene* #OliviaCo #humor #writingcommunity #joke

There once was a girl who was dumb She couldn't write limericks because she was dumb . . #OliviaCo #jokes #writingcommunity #humor

Was Boo Boo the Gary Coleman of the bear world? . . This has been an OliviaCo™️ "joke/humor product" we have given up on. Brought to you by *Hurp* a Slappy-mah-Pappy Amalgamated Production. #OliviaCo #jokes #Hurp #writingcommunity #humor

All pedophiles should be shot on sight.

I found some fishsticks in the shape of musical instruments. I'm going to dip them in guitartar sauce. . (Please forgive me) . . #joke #humor #writingcommunity #OliviaCo

When I die I want everyone in attendance to take turns throwing themselves onto my casket dramatically while screaming and sobbing. The preacher will judge who did the best and the winner will get a sheet of stickers and a ribbon. #OliviaCo #jokes #humor #writingcommunity #comedy

I got kicked out of the local public swimming pool. Evidently, you're not allowed to wear roller skates in the water. You have to wear bowling shoes. #OliviaCo #jokes #humor #writingcommunity #comedy

Whatever people say I am, that's what I'm not... What I want is a good time. All the rest is propaganda. -Alan Sillitoe

#OliviaCo #jokes #humor #writingcommunity

Top Ramen implies the existence of Bottom Ramen. As in... Brad: Hey Steve. How'd your date go with Ted? Steve: Bottom ramen. Brad: I recommend some talcum and an ice pack. (end scene) #OliviaCo™️ ☆Where dumbness is recycled endlessly☆ #writingcommunity #comedy #joke #humor

Brian Kilmeade endorses euthanizing homeless people: "Involuntary lethal injection, or something. Just kill them."

It's so weird to think we lost the moon 26 years ago when that cascading nuclear explosion knocked it out of orbit and into interstellar space. I wonder where it could be now? #Space1999 #GerryAnderson

I opened my chakra but didn't use it all. I put the leftovers in a dogma bag. #OliviaCo

Him: What dat ass do? Her: Pure magic. Him: mmm. What kind of magic? Her: Card tricks. Her: (poops out a deck of cards) #OliviaCo #joke #humor #writingcommunity #comedy

Do It Yourself Joke LM555 Premise: • French • History Buff • Pornstar Name Punchline: Napoleanus Blownapart. . #OliviaCo #jokes #humor #writingcommunity #comedy

1. I'm quiet 2. I keep to myself 3. I live with my parents 4. I come and go at random times But whatever it is, I didn't do it.

He's inventing a new department in the military called CrawlSPACE Force.

If seven cats in a trench coat and fedora come knocking on your door and ask to inspect your tuna, just let them. That much organization deserves satisfaction.

Yes, they should. The question remains, will any members of the press have the cojones to do it? Or will they be cowering in fear?

Seriously 💥👍

Dumb science joke #364 Where do scientists keep their modified stem cells to keep them fresh? In the CRISPR. . #OliviaCo #writingcommunity

Here's a reminder about over 1600 nazis and their families were settled in Alabama directly after WW2. "Rocket City" The most famous being Wernher von Braun, of course. So we can extrapolate how many nazi, and nazi descendants trump will send ice after. It's zero because of course it's zero.

For a good time, call 1(900)BLOODYMARY 1(900)BLOODYMARY 1(900)BLOODYMARY *Nights only*

Berserker

I wonder if Ursula von der Leyen will be the new Franz Ferdinand.

New York does not miss. The bleach did it for me. 😭

A glory hole, and hear me out on this... For boobs. I'll call it a boobie hatch. It will be the breast thing ever. Then again, that sounds crazy. #OliviaCo #jokingwiththeoldies #jokes #reallydumbjokes #writingcommunity #comedy