Me after five shots of Cuervo gold and a trip to the Taco Bell drivethru

Whoever decided car engines should shut down any time you stop at a red light needs to be put on one of those deportation flights to El Salvador.

USMC first sergeant and captain when a PFC says he plans to marry the “dancer” he met last weekend

Pay attention when you see tweets like this. People advocating for prolonging the war in Ukraine always have a grandpa who fought in WWII. Or an uncle who went to Iraq. Or a brother in the Navy. But they rarely have medals and a DD214 of their own. Ask yourself why that is.

Me and my absolute bro after telling the bartender that chemicals in the water are turning the frogs gay

Went to go find something on ExTwitter for a story I'm writing and came across this hilarious bit of anti-fan fiction about Bluesky that Elon retweeted. It's all hilarious nonsense, but my favorite bit: "there is neither the interrogation of grand ideas nor the exploration of great questions."