often people say girl failure when they mean woman unsuccessful.

"For no particular reason at all, someone shot that big headed man."

a part of me wants to shake ass more

an interesting thing to me is how pornography has such a definite style to it that you can basically instantly identify it whenever you see it. And I wonder is it the lighting? the camera angles? the color grading? what gives something the porno style

this movie lowkey dislikes women.

now watching

I want to be the first black person to do an offensive portrayal of white face

you think a gay rat is like "ooouh you cheesing in me, you cheesing in me."

got called a tranny on the lightrail award :/

being on a lexapro is like chill sometimes, other times its like "i don't feel anything." and other times its like someone shoving a cock through my brain and fucking me with dopamine

i get that there's a thing in being united in strength but why not weakness. all things on the planet have been weak and fragile before, so how could anyone not understand that. help others for you have been helped

at the drug dealer convention and I'm on the panel for LGBTQ+ inclusion. " now I know most of you know how to FLIP a brick, but can you love one?"

thinking about the guy into getting pissed on but draws the line at profanity

going to start using werewolf as a serious and professional adjective. let's see where this goes

what happened to the world where the bachelor pad became the male living space. fascism.

someone just laced my sim with FENT WHAT THE FUCK BRO!

girl who wrote her dissertation on literally picking women up both picked me up and flirted with me I can't stop winning

watching 3 lesbians change a tire, I finally know how many it takes....

I don't even have any jokes for this place man this is just heaven on earth

I feel like we should start bombing someone idk though

how tf is this a thrift

woaw

Seeing dudes in the sailor outfit is never not gonna be hilarious

venmo should not have a fucking social function man why I am finding out I have an incredibly similar last name to oomfs mutual and why is that mutual British!? bitch did you own my family????

now watching

oh you like eggs? no they're fine its just kinda breakfast-slop ngl

gay black men love micromanaging the fuck outta a retail job. Honestly if your store doesn't have one I'm not shopping iykyk

I said I might want circle frames and my friends starting screaming at me like I was summoning a demon. Chat should I get circle frames

watching the Minecraft movie and there's a kid banging his head into the chair over and over next to me and I need him over medicated for the rest of his chud LIFE!

let my sister play BG3 on my PC and she's a shadowheart fan. I'm selling her

trying out a new hairstyle :D

my son just #ragebaited me and the wife coming by out as a stillborn #lol

Soothing. 😮‍💨

the reptiles plan to invade times square to assassinate peter Jackson as a French terrorists sparking a war that ends with the United States owning western Europe stopping communism by enshrining total maga. we must stop them.

peter Jackson is the youngest member of the illuminati who also rules over it. Together they plan to institute communism greatest failure to destroy the idea from the American we must stop him

looking at the moon that makes me annoying instead of a werewolf "RRAAAAH I NEED TO BECOME TRAD CATH LISTEN TO RED SCARE AND START VAPING AND WATCHING SHOWS ON APPLE TV."

I have made so many beautiful mistakes in my life and by God I will make so many more

meeting oomf's normie girlfriend and i have to resist the urge to say trvth nuke

Fading. 🫠

okay whats up trans woman and having a google pixel

flexed in da mirror today and I heard someone call me noodle arms??

Costco pizza before the economic collapse!!

I don't wear mascara cause I fuck with mascs in kafka-esque and soulful way

they don't even say April fools anymore they say April trvth nuke and then spend the whole day denying autism. #trumpsamerica

Calling gifted kids one hit wonders

finding out corn syrup is genuinely real and not like some weird 5th element that the world economic forum psychically inserts into all American food is fucking me up ngl

being the trans member of your family kinda means you're the deadbeat of your family too, I don't pull up for those face times I look too pretty

Quick Samus

i #lowkey wanna change my name to Desdemona sometimes but I cannot be fucked to get another fucking email at this point

oomf just said i have "low sexual emapthy" 💔💔