Con: there’s a marathon going past my apartment Pro: I woke up to a round of applause

It’s the Annual Salute to Recognition, a chance for us all to pay special attention to those who have recognised others

Deep in Wellington Country

Smoked! Paprika

Ranking inquisitions and obviously Spain is number one but landing on a second or a third is a different story

This cookie looks like Billy Joel

A lot of people don’t know this but I am willing to diagnose your mental illness for free

Tipper Gore is gonna fall over when she sees the title of the new Geese album

Could not give a fuck about the super moon, I’m happy with the normal moon

Most Recent Zealand

I’m sorry but with everything going on in the world I’m gonna need a more exciting feud than Taylor Swift and Charlie XCX

Everything reminds me of Shinzo

Next year the AFL Grand Final should be at the Gabba and the NRL Grand Final should be at Suncorp Stadium and I don’t want to hear any bitching about it

The NRL should trade Phil Gould to the AFL in return for Dipper

Here’s my Start Up idea: ✅ office of 4-7 staff ✅ good building in a nice inner city part of town ✅ good lunch and cafe options nearby ✅ close to public transport options ✅ not very stressful ✅ good profits Let me know if you or someone you know are willing to make a serious investment

The bits of onion and tomato etc in your sink drain provide the umami for the fish and creatures of the ocean Follow for more

A tv show I’d like to do is Yes/No Bathrooms where I walk in to a bathroom and say yes or no to it. 10 minutes episodes, 3 seconds per bathroom = 200 bathrooms an episode. Good value for the viewer

Nothing makes you feel more like a selfless humanitarian than opening up a large unused part of the scrabble board with a low scoring word

Hadrian’s Wall was named by people who say ‘haitch’. It should be Adrian’s Wall

I can’t believe Jane Goodall was taken out by the same stingray that killed Steve Irwin

Will let you know if this works

Man I fucking love saying profound shit

Yet to be ‘wowed’ by colby cheese

Hard to pic a side, Our Keith or Our Nicole

Going to Leongatha for work next week. Might do a little Erin Patterson Reality Tour

Really getting into Sonic Booms you guys

This whole thread, read it

Who calls their child ‘Tate’. The fuck kind of name is that

[cracks knuckles] okay, now to start my first day as HR manager at 6News

Weezer have the opportunity to rebrand as Wheezer fairly easily. Their call though

Bogans are absolutely losing it for honey on fast food at the moment

The NFL have confirmed that Douglas Levison will be walking Bad Bunny on stage at the 2016 Super Bowl

There should be a car horn button you can honk on here and when you press it everyone who follows you gets a blaring horn play from their phone speakers

Here’s Meatball joyfully welcoming new neighbour Waffle

Ahhh Jesus here comes a list of herbs [My internal dialogue as Simon & Garfunkel ask me if I’m going to Scarborough Fair]

WEDLIKE2.BMF

[Kylie Minogue voice] I should drink a coffee, coffee coffee coffee

I genuinely believe that with hard work I can get to 1000 unread emails by the end of the year

Best case scenario if you’re a musician or comedian in Australia is you’ll be contacted by a company to film your own ad for their product on your Instagram page

We should be allowed to sue Christians who falsely claim rapture

My boss has just announced he’s retiring at age 49 and it has spurred me on to try and find an incredibly rich wife

The best of my day every day is when Meatball and Riggy hear my car pull in after work and jump up to the window to yell at me

Only 7 hours left in the work day folks!

[Christopher Cross voice] Slaying, takes me away to -

10km/ph is insanely slow. I can’t imagine you would travel more than a say 6 or 7 km within the hour

Qualmless in Quebec

AFL Grand Final At The Gabba 2025

Hey guys, Q: what is an ancient Egyptian’s favourite tv show? A: Ramses’ Kitchen Nightmares Hahaha okay everyone have a great night, cheer’s

It is my belief that you should be allowed to reach out your car window and give cyclists a little pat on the bum (non sexual) as you pass them

Netflix Special Presentation: Unveiling Buckethead LIVE hosted by Ryan Seacrest