Sarah Ferguson should’ve asked the dog some questions too imo

Can you even imagine what it must’ve been like back in 2012

So it seems FIFA were happy to host an entire World Cup on USA soil and not even have one halftime performance from Reba? I’m sorry but what the fuck are they doing over there

No you’re thinking of Peter Buck, guitarist and co-founder of REM, I’m talking about Peter Buck, physicist and co-founder of Subway

I cannot stop laughing at this. They were so close to cracking lmao #InfoWars #MAJA

I get a lot of hate because I’m sexy and I speak my mind

Lindsey Graham wrote some of Fleetwood Mac’s most memorable songs. A titan on the guitar, he’s going to be sorely missed. RIP to a genius

Gonna eat a coffee

VERY concerned at the number of people out there who are probably uploading my photo to some AI program along with a photo of themselves and typing in ‘make it so I’m having sex with Fraser’. You perverts need to be locked up.

You’re hanging with your homies in the orchestra and all of a sudden the double bassist rolls up with this. WYD?

The stock market needs to go back to being two thousand guys on an open floor just holding little bits of paper and yelling things at each other.

[Me if I was the casting director on Pirates of Penzance] Sorry, not swashbuckling enough. NEXT!

You know what, our home really is girt by sea

Yeah look I’ve accidentally tucked my tshirt into my undies so I’m gonna sit this next one out actually

Sad I never got to tell Derryn he was spelling Darren wrong

Happy Birthday to Derryn Hinch

Wow, a lot of people telling me it’s not their birthday. I don’t care man

Taking break from wishing everyone a happy birthday to google some funky hats

Okay, time to wish everyone a happy birthday

Finally, the Millennial Whoop is back

I’m sorry but if NATO aren’t going to join the US in bombing Iran then FIFA are going to have to step up

My thoughts on last night’s origin? Bullshit. Total bullshit.

Look, fact is, you need a keynote speaker and I know a lot about the sitcom Percect Strangers (1986-1993)

America should take solice today in the fact that they are still number 1 at American football

Oh you’re feeling sick? How pedestrian. I’m experiencing ~unwellness~

So is Reba gonna do a halftime show at the World Cup or not? Sick of having to tune in to every match cause details are so scarce

Hey wanna hear something really pretentious? I ate three persimmons yesterday

A strong, confident England means we all suffer. We cannot let them win this tournament

“These verses are so goddamn good, I’m not even gonna try and write a decent chorus” - Paul Simon halfway through writing 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

Well I’m gonna be eating soup for the next month but I just bought a Rickenbacker 12 string. Dream guitar

I love Croatia’s whole Italian tablecloth vibe

Wimbledon should have gone with a ‘World Cup’ theme to tie in with the World Cup this year, with players kicking footballs over the net instead of hitting tennis balls. They should also have 11 players in each side, and extend the court to approximately 100m in length

Reckon I’ve discovered the next big thing in lagers

An honour to be asked to throw out the first pitch at the Australia Vs Paraguay game today 🙌

Kids today don’t quite understand just how revolutionary the humble computer monitor was. Before monitors we had to surf the web completely blind, not knowing what browser we were clicking on at any given time

Community Strong might be the worst name for a political party I’ve ever heard. I’d have gone with HawkWolf or something a bit zippier.

Credit where it’s due: Angus Taylor pulling out the ‘but it’s my first day’ defence 13 years into a job is a masterstroke

They should give Liz Truss another go

I have decided to challenge Catriona Rowntree for the leadership of Getaway, and will call for a spill motion accordingly

The World Cup is amazing cause you hear about a lot of countries that are virtually unknown to most people like Cape Verde, Curaçao and The United States of America

They should move the International Date Line every year so everyone gets a turn with different times

Winter Sun Nap Mode: Activated

Keir Starmer is set to be replaced by rising star in UK politics, Cheddarforth J Crinklington who has already promised a shiny bag of shillings to every Briton who vows to keep a locket containing a portion of eel by their heart all times as a reminder of the UKs dominance of jellied river-life

Starmer resigning opens the door for Tony Abbott to say something inconsequential about UK politics

Hi everyone, bit of personal news from me. I’m no longer just gonna be scooching through, or just scooching past real quick. Hope you all understand.

Sometimes when you’re making ice it’ll do this thing. This has been Science with Fraser 💫

God I fucking hate digital illustration

[Linkin Park voice] I’ve become so dumb

McDonald’s sponsoring both teams is a cop out

Honestly think it’s fuckn selfish Darren Lockyer commentates. Cmon man, give someone else a go.