Fred Davis was a professional snooker player, born in England in 1913. Michał Szubarczyk is a professional snooker player, born in Poland in 2011. The one thing they have in common? They both played a professional snooker match against Jimmy White.

He did the voice, didn't he?

"Shane"

If there's a more appropriate name for a batsman than Bosch, I've yet to hear it.

I bless the urinals down in Africa

Dear Sting, What kind of ghoul only has his toast done on one side? Love, The Civilised World

Until you've been for a low-level piss in shorts you will not understand the sterling work your jeans do.

10 out of 10 on 10 To The Top 🏆

Happened 🏆

I am not, never have been, nor never will be an Arsenal fan. But fair play 👏

Feeder drank cider from 11am, not a lemon

No coat for the first time this year 😎

The key to 2 litre bottles with the cap attached is 5pm

England have started today's Champions Trophy game today vs Australia with 4 wicket keepers in their side Salt Duckett Smith Buttler

Kevin Keegan's birthday is on Valentines Day 😍

I'm Charles Petrescu 🤖

"Piss flaps?"

I started my cricket career at the same club as Phil Salt

The three best songs with intros that should have been full songs: 1. Beck - The New Pollution 2. Babylon Zoo - Spaceman 3. Eels - Novocaine For The Soul

Triple captained Salah 🚀

The three greatest songs with drum-only intros are as follows: 1. In The Morning - Razorlight 2. Disillusioned - Badly Drawn Boy 3. Fun Lovin' Criminals - The King Of New York (We Will Rock You was the band stamping their feet and clapping their hands, no drums involved)

If you're having a bad day, here's the Eidi Stadium in the Faroe Islands to cheer you up 😁⚽️🗻

How to recreate the best bit of a night out: Go to bed

Is there anything worse than getting the lyrics wrong whilst singing on camera?

"Anyone who uses the word workshop, without working in light industry, is an arsehole" Alexi Sayle

Why does the freezer door never open on the second pull?

I'm starting to regret buying the flat above Lionel Richie

Sorry to disappoint you English folk, but the Welsh word 'poppity-ping' for microwave is nothing more than an urban myth. We use the phrase 'ffwrn meicrodon', literally translated as microwave oven

If you increase pressure, you'll either burst pipes or create diamonds

Erinsbough is an anagram of Neighbours

Brian Tilsley from Coronation Street was in Robocop 2

I am on the cover of Oasis' video / DVD 'There And Then', filmed live at Maine Road

Is it acceptable to have a coffee during a tea break? 🤔 Asking for a friend

"The generous man gets given far more than he gives He just doesn't always know it"

Scientists who claim to have discovered the world's smallest fish have clearly never been to Merino's Chippy on London Road

If Marty McFly had been alive today, the song he would have played at the High School dance would have been 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star uses the same tune as the one used to teach children the alphabet

To prevent it from falling or blowing over, The Angel Of The North is buried as far underground as it stands overground

Rick Stein is Judge Jules’ uncle

Alec Stewart scored 8,463 test runs His date of birth is 8-4-63 #QI

According to the show’s producer, Armando Ianucci, the item that Alan Partridge was so keen to hide in his top drawer at the Linton Travel Tavern was a copy of ‘Fat Women On Toilets’ magazine

If you think about it, every buffet is an all-you-can-eat

One of the three orphans in Blackadder’s Christmas Carol is Roland from Grange Hill #QI

Aer Lingus missed a trick by not calling themselves Eireplane 🤷🏼‍♂️

A clever man solves the problem. A wise man avoids the problem altogether

If you want to run a race, run the 100m If you want a life experience, run a marathon

If alcohol were brought to the market today as a new drug, it would probably be banned by c. 99% of the world

24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Underpants on the radiator in this weather is an underrated treat 🔥🥵

Was there ever a dog track in Barking? 🤔 #barkingdogs