Gave in and did some Absolute Batman fanart. Been reading it for a bit and just couldn’t resist anymore.

It’s intentional self portrait day. So here’s mine.

It’s a bit past Halloween now, but at least in my area Trick or Treat is tonight. I’ll be honest, I’m super proud of this one. I keep looking at it and thinking “holy shit, I made this”. I don’t feel that often. I’m sure it’s sloppy in ways I have yet to see. But for now I feel like an artist.

Eh…

I have anger issues. I also like Silent Hill. So why not make a Silent Hill inspired boss monster that could hunt me down? Honestly, no clue why I haven't done this before. Head trapped in hot rusted metal, on fire, but not. Howling as it blindly attack. I wish therapy helped.

Went to the Mothman festival today. So many artists there, it's my new favorite festival. There was no line for the butt. Without my beard one might question how the hell did is the 100 pounds down from last year. Answer: I'm short.

Time for some fun after months of medical problems!

Can I please stop injuring my right hand? Who knew knife repair was such a dangerous thing to do when you're fixing the spring mechanism... Also thanks antibiotics for making clotting damn near non-existent... So much blood from such a small cut.

My therapist: Do you buy a lot non-necessities? Me:

Saw "28 Years Later" tonight. I really enjoyed it. I have a lot of thoughts about it. But, they had this "Final Destination" stand in the lobby and I had a lot of fun with it. Just like "Bloodlines" was also a fun movie. I did some small edits.

Anyone else's OCs vomit uncontrollably at times?

Things have taken to a turn for the painful after my nonstick bandages decided to stick to me. Oh boy! Genuinely, other than the initial burns and the hours after them, this is the worst pain I've been in since it happened.

With the way things have been for me lately, I really didn't feel safe 😅

A week later my hand looks way better than a few days ago. Still no feeling just behind my index finger nail. Also the tip can't feel fine details. The nail feels fine. Weird. But I can still draw normally. At least it seems I'm lucky on that front. One week out at least.

The hand blister popped in my sleep. Guess it will start drying out soon and I'll have to take a break from drawing and playing Doom... 😕

So apparently the trauma from the burns seems to have triggered a massive manic episode and that's why I'm not dealing with pain. I mean, this isn't even the worst of my burns. Apparently when the episode ends the pain will catch up. So I have that to look forward to🙄

How am I not in pain? The only thing that really hurts is my throat from screaming in horror as I was getting cooked alive by the oil. I find the lack of pain concerning.

It's weird, but I'm in no pain at all and have no pain meds. Well my throat is a little sore from how much I was screaming in agony yesterday, but other than that I feel great. Like seriously I feel lucky to be this burnt, covered in blisters and there's no real pain.

We can be bees!

Guess who dumped boiling oil himself and is now in the ER? Worst part is I can't feel my art hand, but my feet and legs are burning. Worst pain of my entire life. 🫤

Doom TDA is a good game. Unfortunately doesn't feel like Doom all of the time, but when it does it's the best Doom game. The speed from Eternal mixed with some classic Doom battles. Maybe the DLC will give me more of what I want like TAG1 did for Eternal. At any rate, fucking had a blast.

I'm not sure about this, but did it over the course of the day and it's done. So here it is. Did it on marker paper and used Shuttle Art paint markers.

8 minute Sharpie self portrait. About all I can shit out through the pain I'm currently in. No clue why this time things hurt so bad post-surgery. Like the doctor said, I'm a pro at this. Fuck, I'm a pro at getting surgery, how pathetic. Pain meds made me stop breathing, so they're a no go. SFB.

Well it seems I survived my surgery. I feel like shit and can't seem to stay awake. So here's a picture of right before I went back hours ago. Back to sleep land for me now.

Well, on my way to my surgery. I wanted to make a video, but lost track of time this morning. Heart surgery is scary. So if I don't wake up, damn this whole TikTok thing was fun and weird. Thanks y'all!

Finally made a model and animated something in Blender. Jacob's Ladder reference in it and everything. I was going for a PlayStation One look, but I think there might be too many polygons.

It's been well over a year since I've "felt" anything other than anger and existential dread. With 8 days to go before my heart surgery, this book brought me to tears. I don't even remember the last book to do that, let alone show, movie or game. For now it's nice to not be numb, to feel alive.

Spring is officially here now that the squirrels are out giving me death stares for existing in their world.

I decided to put a list together of my top 5 favorite books of all time. It's really weird because 12 years ago I had said I hate scifi books. I guess I just hadn't found the right ones. Honestly 6 and 7 would be scifi as well. "Starship Troopers" and "All You Need is Kill".😅

Omg, so I've been reading Mickey7 because the movie disappointed me, might as well read the book. I just finished chapter 17, such fucking delicious commentary. Omg, it's frightening how true it is and it's just a delicacy to have read. Holy shit. It makes me wonder the movies name change...

Hey our buddy Desk has a sick doggo. Give the guy a hand why don’tcha. www.gofundme.com/f/aid-nikos-...

Fun. Eastern Kentucky has been getting fucked so hard this year. January was a snow storm that was fallowed by subzero temps for weeks. Then February was flood after flood. Now March came in like a rain storm and is going out in flames. Fuck. I've been lucky, but so many haven't.

Two weeks following an old 8 year old tutorial to make the base of an FPS, because Unity 6 is not the same as Unity 5 I had to figure out the new way to do most of it. Everything was fine and running smoothly until I tried to go full screen. Then that overwrote ever version with a messed up UI 😭

hafrn and thinking about how wild it is that gravity isn't here because of the Earth, but rather the Earth is here because the gravity.

Micky 17 was such a a let down. A human element tossed to the side for cheap easy political commentary. I'm fine with politics in films, fuck I'm one of 10 people who like Remero's Land, Dairy and Survival of the Dead. So many interesting threads just dropped after such a super strong open.

I think I may say too much about myself on Livestream... Like I'm kind of a downer from what I've been told, but my life experience are fucked up. What am I supposed to talk about, the weather? That's fucked up too. Seriously though, stay safe this week everyone. These winds will be rough.

🤣🤣🤣

Spike looks like how people used to draw cats with his mouth looking like lips. It's kinda creepy. Like he will just randomly say "meow".

Today makes a year since my little ball of fluff passed away. Psy's favorite thing in the world was whipped cream. After he died we couldn't toss these out. So we left him a treat. I miss him terribly. I never knew I could miss a cat this much.

Flooding is bad in my area right now. Despite living on a hillside, so much water was rushing down the mountain that our bedroom got flooded last night. I had to work for hours digging drainage ditches to get the water away from the house. I might not stream tomorrow night due to the situation.

Had my eye dilated at the eye doctor today. I love how creepy my reflection from my phone screen is in my eye.

I couldn’t believe what I saw when I got the doorbell alert on my phone. Rain moving in on the horizon.

The preview is not what it seems.

You know I absolutely hate Disney as a company however--If they started putting Deadpool with a mustache and glasses(A Stanpool if you will) as a cameo in future MCU movies. I'd see it. He just pops out and says "Excelsior!". Take my money, I'll mainline that shit.

Doing some test footage for a video and pause it at this moment. I think this might be my new favorite picture of myself. Might just use it for the next artist vs art thing.

For shitting out loud, I just got home, it's 10:30pm that isn't midnight. I wanted to do one last stream...

Since I put these in my TikTok for today here they are. I've been addicted to making these guys lately. I have about 12 of them so far. Don't know how many more I'll make, but I'll eventually post them all. I'm having fun playing with light and colors.

I've been trying to build a website for 2 weeks. Decided to take an online course since I don't know shit about html. Find out I have an account on solo learn from 2016. Apparently I have certificates in HTML and JavaScript. I guess going about a decade not using it I just forgot. Kinda scary imo.

I've written a farewell video for TikTok and just can't bring myself to record it. It just doesn't feel real. I know I need to make it soon, but damn this feels difficult.

Proof I have been cringe my entire life. I'm guessing I'm 5 years old here.