i know it’s a myth and not real but i did get kind of scared that going off T would make me suddenly “feel less masculine” mainly bc they feed you shit like taking hormones can “make you feel different” but i think ultimately i started T, started living authentically, and now

no one is ever fully healed and that doesn’t have to stop us from living our lives along side our grief so that we may be happy when it comes we must also allow ourselves to feel sad when it comes

it’s tomato sammy summer babyyyy

just remembered that the best is yet to come 😌

goddamn the sting of loneliness and the yearning 😩 it is so painful i am trying to turn my grief into gratitude

the internet is lonely i’m sick of the internet hiding my friends and only showing me monetized bullshit and influencers and ads

i just realized i had 4 outfit changes today 😳 one for my inspection, one for work, one for a bike ride, and one for the gym i may be an athlete but i am still a diva 💅

im fr like an athlete bc i went for a bike ride AND to the gym today who is heeee 😏

i want a big ass salad - tis the season

i thought maybe i could try going without T but after only a couple weeks there is clearly something Wrong With Me i almost cried bc my friends didn’t say something nice enough to me 🫠 y’know what, fuck it… gimmie my damn juice 💉🧃

what if I schedule top surgery and don’t think twice about it? 👀 it’s like how ppl buy concert tickets and then figure out how to make it work after the fact

why did 2016 feel so good? i swear i knew it was the good ole days while it was happening

i’m trying i’m trying i’m trying to get past this and do something to help myself but i am so depressed i am so sleepy i only want to lay down my brain isn’t working

i wonder if he hurts in the same ways that i do if we’re both just not saying the things we’re feeling or if this is all one sided i don’t need to know

raindrop in the eye or mouth gotta be one of the worst of all time

ooo i really wanna go play on the swings

do not send me a heart emoji, a selfie, or do the bare minimum for me or else i WILL fall in love 😤

trimmed my beard a little too short on accident do not fucking text 😩

if i am nothing i am a lover. i love people! i love animals! i love nature! art, movies, food, singing, playing! it’s all lovey dovey for me over here, not sorry.

why did they put an egg beater in my head and scrample my brain 🤨

gonna do a big hand exercise and see if i can do chop sticks!!!!

haircut haircut haircut !!!

i’m struggling a lot with reading 😔 i had speech therapy today and the exercises she gave me were so hard i almost cried bc i was so defeated. it takes me so long to spell a text and double check it to make sure it makes sense and im still fucking it up. i miss my life 💔

oh teddy swims is so cutie pie

love it when a man says “pal” like those are fighting words

3 ibuprofen try my recipe boy

ik my taste buds r fucked up bc my raspberry toast n jam tasted like ketchup 🤢 food has felt wrong for the last week or so

i am temporarily disabled from my surgery but i am still horny and want to make out the human spirit is unstoppable 😮‍💨

i’m having horrible cramps this evening it feels like i might get my period and that’s so unfair i haven’t had it since last march 😭

“i’m not a smart man, but i know what love is”

i got more facial hair than a c!s man atp lol 🤪 which is wild bc i didn’t even want it but now i can’t imagine myself without it!

this week 😮‍💨

it’s been one week since my surgery and the week has gone by sooooo slowly i’ve been disoriented and confused but i’m getting better every day !! hopefully i’ll be back to normal by friday 🥲 i’ve been bored and depressed and eating a LOT bc of it

i really want top surgery but i had such an awful reaction to my recent surgery im worried it will happen again 😰

brain surgery TOMORROW

think i want a neck tattoo 😳 dunno of what yet tho

i love to watch a documentary about people it’s like we are hanging out

allowing myself to actually feel my feelings fucking sucks 😭 what if my feelings are yucky? what if my heart hurts so bad im in physical discomfort? i want to rationalize my way out of them! not feel them 😔

bruh i love the hospital just went in for blood work and i discovered a new area of this one and it’s filled with plants and a cafe and it feels like a whole different world in there 🥹 who wanna go on a hospital date?

OH NO the capitalism love holiday got my lover boy ass i am yearningggg 😩❤️‍🔥

trying to sing along to tyler carter and jonny craig got my pubescent baby boy voice crackin tf UP!!! 😂😭

got called “boss” by the guy tryna sell me something at the store and he almost got my ass with that one !!

getting gen z into marketing roles is the best thing that ever happened to capitalism

pissing n kissing in the boys room

god forbid the jester gets a little slutty with it !

*posts on fb asking for comfort* *gets misgendered multiple times* okay 🧍guess i’ll just go fuck myself

hey does anyone know if it’s okay to be myself?

finally living out my dream of having divorced dad dinner - a whole rotisserie chicken and beer

that’s gotta be in the top ten places to kill yourself

just heard home by edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros for the first time in a really long time and it was like a gut punch of nostalgia i could fall to my knees and just wail my heart out rn