A high school girlfriend once sent me a tape cassette with Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” with no context. Almost 30 years later I’m posting shit like this. I guess in some ways, I really haven’t grown. 😬😅 Anyway, I felt pretty, in a middle-aged overfed housecat sort of way.

Big guy pull-ups. Yeah, I kip, and my range of motion still sucks, but I’m 340 lbs and do 4 sets of 12 at the end of my workouts. My overly humble gymbro cheering me on in the background.

My bed’s too comfy. I don’t wanna get up.

When you’ve done a full day of yardwork in the hot sun, so you stuff yourself silly and collapse your sore body into bed.

Sunday night is pizza night.

Next Halloween I really hope to see a couple’s costume of the Resident Evil chef and the fat patient.

I’m wearing clothes for once! I was amused by the overhead lights giving me abs, and no one was around, so here’s a little flexing video.

Silly story time: At the gym doing my wall sits. Close my eyes to focus on breathing, and I guess I’ve been on this site too much. I find myself visualizing a perfect asshole, and in my mind, I’m going to town on it with my tongue. Open my eyes - my two minutes are up. Everyone is staring at me.

Another great chest day, so here’s a late Tummy Tuesday to celebrate. Did 5x5 benchpress at 335lbs. I hadn’t done anything close to that since early last November, and it felt great. That’s two weeks now of feeling strong in the gym. I have no idea what changed, but I’m hoping to keep it up.

Wide Wednesday: Also, I heard clapping when walking down the stairs today. It wasn’t my ass - it was my coming from my armpits. Y’all - my sideboobs were clapping, and I really don’t know how to feel about that. 😬😅

Felt extra big after tonight’s workout.

When you have way too much to do, so you do nothing but laze around in bed looking at smut and lamenting that your ass isn’t being eaten.

Am I the only idiot who can see all the penises, balls, and gaping assholes on here but has to manually allow each “sexually explicit cartoon,” or is this just a Bluesky quirk? 😅 It’s OK if I am - I’m not always the brightest bulb, but this is kind of amusing me.

Celebrating having hot water again after four days of freezing cold showers. I’m a happy bear.

When the back doesn’t match the front. Also, 100% procrastinating from all the things I need to do today before this stupid storm arrives.

Things heard at MAL: “May I please pet your chest hair?” “You have really big calves. May I please take a photo of them?” Things heard at the Amish petting zoo on the way home: A five year old shouting, “Spread your cocks!” Youth these days - no manners…

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to MAL I go… Just a single day to admire the leather daddies and maybe remedy my complete lack of gear. 😅

What one sees before realizing I take up way more than just my half of the bed.

Just making my deposit to the communal smut bank.

Got tired of how chemically sweet my usual protein was. Thought buying a 5lb container of unflavored whey isolate was genius. How bad can it be? I love milk. It’ll just be like super milk, right? Will be headed to the store shortly to find something to flavor and sweeten it…

The HORROR! 😱

Twink Death comes for us all. I am such a dork. 😂

The cock ain’t fat, so how about fuzzy fat ass Friday?

Tummy Tuesday. Some GOMAD to grow the muscles.

Finally joining the jocktober bandwagon.

Gym and too much dinner = need belly and back rubs.

A bit overkill on the sweaty post-gym flexing photos, but I’m so injury-ridden at this point I figured I’d post before I deflate faster than my bank account in Trump’s economy.

Fine. I guess I’ll finally get out of bed.

This dork’s ready for Pride this weekend.

Someone wanted a pic of me hard. The little f’r is camera shy, so here’s a semi flopping on my belly.

It’s looking at you.

Time to feed the moosclays.

A more fun addition to my previous post.

12 years later, and the 2nd bathroom still looks exactly the same. 😅😬😭

Titty tan lines! 😅😬

Bear at the beach. Been way too long since I’ve been down here.

Bear down. Ate WAY too much pasta. 😬

I shouldn’t, but whatever. The last few years have been rough, and home maintenance took a backseat - to the point I really don’t want to invite people over. I’d say this is me trying to reclaim some dignity, but I think it’s pretty clear my sweaty ass has no dignity - or shame. 😂

Bar night!

Booty shorts for bar night.

Just wrapped up a very overdue project that’s been weighing on me for months. Feeling lighter both literally and figuratively. Still big though. 😁

Lazy morning.

A different kind of leg day than from 10 years ago.

Fun little before and after tonight: This was from a 10 mile race about 160 lbs ago. The crazy thing - I actually thought those race photos made me look fat. 😵‍💫

Some light smut for the end of a stupid week.

I’ve said it before: I really need a bigger shower.

@runnomo.bsky.social Tidal Wave Party 📸📸📸

Very early Tummy Tuesday.

Think i need a bigger chair.