Using its sharp teeth and forward set eyes to spot weak or elderly specimens, autism predates paracetamol.

All interests are specific, obviously

A lot of people have jumped directly from ‘let’s get people to vote’ to ‘You palm the paper clip then pick the lock on your cuffs and make your escape.’

I’m not disparaging anyone’s efforts but there’s a real chance that a picture of a puppy won’t cleanse my timeline this week. By all means, give it a wipe though, can’t hurt.

He embodied everything that I admire in music. In fact, in people in general. He wore it so lightly that you could mistake him for a pretty cool dj. The fact that you know who I’m talking about is testament to this.

Lost half an hour there, daydreaming about a soup that was infinitely chunky. What would that look like? It’s not as easy as it first seems. Soup is amazing.

Looking at the streets today, it’s clear that a dark thought has stirred in the minds of men. They want to turn the clocks back and don’t care who gets hurt. Shorts

Right wing types, particularly the American ones, flatter themselves that they are especially driven but really they are like a bacterium drifting up a sugar gradient.

America, The Insurrector’s Cut

On the other hand, great news for people who always wondered what it would be like to live in times where progressive ideas needed to be concealed into art as allegories.

‘Grate a pear’ is a joyful way to dismiss sloppers

You might think that you had a grasp on how bad all of this is but it’s worse, way worse; the meek are being skipped over and the earth is being inherited by the podcasters.

There’s a yearly boot fair type thing in the town where my mother in law lives and she, Jess and the boys raised 400 quid for refugee charities and her elderly neighbour did 1.5k for Palestine with tea and cakes. With luck, they will do it again next year. This is the unity my boys will aspire to.

The Tragedy of Ling Kier

Zero MPs who used palliative care provision as a debating point against assisted dying have stepped up to address providing better palliative care. This is just sport to them.

Sure, it’s selfish, but my concern is valid: if the shooter is found and they turn out to be notably hot then it’s gonna make my life more difficult.

Hoping that the phrase ‘materially different’ did some stretches and remembers to keep its back straight today

Traditionally, on what they called ‘Bandcamp Friday’ musicians would assemble to offer organs or limbs for sale in return for listeners clicking a special button which lit a little heart icon. Their strange needs met, musicians return to a deep sleep; readying themselves for the next sacred Friday.

Cool picture but I’m concerned that cigarette is gonna fall out of Grace’s mouth

Cracked it: a web search that excludes shops

Considering a swear jar for reverb auxes on my mix

Love seeing my friends on my phone say ‘parasocial’, we all have wry little laugh about it

At any one time I have nine flags in my house.

Wake up, babe

What have we learnt? Be prepared. A box of treats, some drinks, whatever helps you celebrate. Be ready, be hopeful; the music can start at any time!

I bought into the whole kids-not-as-lefty-as-you-expect thing but the fact that ‘your dad paints roundabouts’ is a standard dig now has warmed my heart. The kids probably are alright.

Elitist, undemocratic and uncool to say but getting news from paid journalists is much better than attempting to aggregate sense from a crowd

The weather is warm, the mood is hopeful and relaxed. There’s a bit of fading pink graffiti on the crossing, dimmer and less visible with each group of happy people wandering across the road, out enjoying the bank holiday together.

I believe that there’s a quiet majority who have never enjoyed a statue

Actual pet sounds

That screen-time test of yours. Have you ever tried to take that test yourself, screen?

The Silicon Triangle - inefficient, psycho owned, only ever right by coincidence: pick three.

my new album ESCAPE is out today this one means a lot to me because the songs span my daughter's whole life thankyou to Jef at YUKU for putting this together yukumusic.bandcamp.com/album/escape

Because of the rules of politeness and our taboo around death it’s so hard to know what to say to very ill friends. However, I can confirm that if you say ‘wow, you look so well’ then your friend will smile but be thinking ‘well my doctor tells me I’m fucking dying’

Blocking sloplords saves more time than it takes and tastes great!

Cracked it: just get rid of headlines completely until people get used to reading articles all the way to the very, very end. The is no upside to headlines, they are never a useful summary; they are bait.

I’m not a jingoistic flag-shagger but the fact that when Americans say ‘with all due respect’ they mean ‘respectfully’ but when we say it we mean ‘I am about to bluntly insult you to your face, you prick’ is a source is pride and hope for our nation.

Hey, if you only ever buy music on bandcamp Friday then you probably suck but also I love you, please browse my wares. teethrecs.bandcamp.com/album/betwee...

This again, sweet mercy, pay the nurses. Pay them. I see them missing breaks, staying late and generally holding wards together with their goodwill. It’s not bottomless goodwill though, pay the fucking nurses.

Having a lovely time digging tunes for the weekend. My laptop (2012 mac) is fine but I don’t want to be suddenly without a laptop, it’s time. What’s the cheapest not-shit mac? Also should I go to rekordbox 7. All I ever hear from DJs is how much they hate it. I’m stuck on 5, which works for me.

Substack: small plates to customers, uber to the journos.

It’s quick and rewarding to mute the words Guess and Vogue

I know many of you are in favour so it’s brave of me to say this but we have to accept that libraries, as a business, they just don’t scale and investors will catch on soon.

This tinderbox humbuggery should get the Times and the Telegraph reported to Prevent

As an artist I walk a taut personal tightrope. On one hand I know that my last release was tagged as ‘modern classical’ by other people who presumably even know what the phrase means. On the other hand, I just posted ‘everybody needs to flush before they wipe, please’ to the family chat.

Eventually, the entire country was arrested, except the cabinet. Since the prisons were full it was agreed the only practical option was to put the ministers into a prison and turn the signs and locks around. Everyone outside the prison was ‘in prison’. This arrangement worked surprisingly well.

And lead us not into haha

‘It’s easy if you try’ just isn’t listening to my needs. I demand a utopia that’s easy even if I don’t try. Thanks in advance.

But surely a real disco infiltrator would never broadcast their infiltration status?

Do you ever think about the spoon, cup, bowl, pan continuum?