olive graden

saw this and idk why but it immediately made me mad

seducing the exterminator because the poolboy called in sick today, wml

They should add a tanning light in fleshlights so you can tan your shit

there are so many good gifs when you search "Kirk". Can't help but feel a little good about us as a society when I see it, despite everything 🥹

gun to your head freak a zoid

one time my student loan servicer, who I couldn't pay, sent me a packet of "Money Tree Seeds" in the mail and a little card that said "Maybe These Will Help. Call Us About Your Payment Options 👍" couldn't even be mad honestly, fucking GOT me

Hi bluesky

other site's breaking again

this gum has a great mouth feel. not too hard, not too soft. very quality.

watching porn on my work laptop. hah! got you!! I work at the pornography factory, so it's fine! 🫵😂

Homeschoolers should have to pay double property taxes to offset the cost of regular kids having to explain everything to them later

mfw I'm about to get 100% of the pussy in the club

work Christmas party tomorrow. I bet the boss would really like something from the Super Mario Brothers. maybe a Mario figurine? no, too obvious. oh, I know, who was that other guy, Mario's friend? I'll get him one of him.

you guys ever click a mouse? nothing like it. #computers

these aren't the worst balls I've had, but they're not the best

if soap cleans everything, then why don't they just make everything out of soap?

pelvic gonzo tattoo

idk i guess i'll post something on here what's going on whats' poppin weiners?

I haven'tt been on blue sky in a while. How's it hanging?

just took a shit and named it after you

NO cumming anymore. not one drop.

I bought a team of oompa loompas from a cloning facility in bangalore. they are all lou dobbs. who wants to.come over for the weirdest blowjob of their life?

she dobbin on my.lou till iheart radio

imagine what he could do for you

people who donate to politicians should have their money redirected to camgirls and botox. george santos is doing us a service.

in America,.it is customary to wear pants on date, yes?

so Obama wrote a letter to America, so what? he's pretty articulate really, not surprising he's got a way with words 🤷‍♂️

coffee shops sure.are big for just serving a itty bitty cuppa coffee in there

i hate the EYE DOCTOR. that bitch gets way TOO CLOSE to my EYES

voucher?? I hardly know her!

Free Business Idea: a place that sells used cars and the guy who sells them is, like, really wacky and you call him Wacky Dave or something and he does commercials

jesus christ had a corkscrew penis

good Monday afternoon sirs and madams. per my last email,.please resume punching yourself in the groin until, oh, around 4:30 or so. thank you

Quora: why does my peanus hort?

the killing will continue until terrorism improves

thank God it's Friday?? nah. only thing good about Friday is that its only two days from Monday, when I get to do what I love most--sit at my desk & look forward.to 5 more days of working. at my job. 🙏💗

I have the looks of a movie airplane pilot. specifically, this one:

you're all laughing at this, but Joe Rogan has been bow-hunting me for 2 years now and I'm interested

you ever get checked by a fact, bro? it's no joke

what's your FIRST stop after finally getting out of plato's cave??

the libs are up in their labs, creating new, more potent fact-checking than ever before

I'm gonna pay a guy to go to my funeral and give a speech saying the rumors of my death are false fake news disinformation and I'm alive

poking the great eye. spitting into the gaping maw. giving the old Nyuk Nyuk to the horrid visage of the mysterious stranger.

thinkig of becoming a artist

charcuterie boards are just fancy Lunchables

my boomer parents bought their first meth house at age 25. impossible these days.

🎧

BREAKING I Trump's lawyer's assistant's daughter's cousin turns state's witness