i love this one so much

here we go

you ever get that b.o. where you smell like the lettuce from subway

Cellphone and self-own are homonyms Just something to think about….

attn: @eucrite.bsky.social

my mother-in-law is featured extensively in this

in case you were wondering i've noticed starting an order with "can i get" is alive and well within the gen z community i dare say stronger than ever

when the book i'm reading starts on page 1 instead of page 3 or page 5 or page 7 #booktok #booksky

i knew something was up when he was always suspiciously a hair late shouting uno

me chomping down on a whopper: "its 5am somewhere"

attn: @eucrite.bsky.social

once my cc kept declining an online purchase so i called them to give live confirmation and they told me the only way they'd process it is if i linked my cc to my phone and pay thru their app because that's "more secure" and hoo boy did i not do that if anything that sounds way less secure

i'm sorry but the way people hold out their phone to pay for something gives me the ick! there i said it

what are we even doing

the gen-z couple at the table next to us on a date and one of them is watching ‘one day at a time’ on their phone and the other is just straight scrolling on theirs like the whole point of becoming old enough to leave the house is so you don’t have to watch home improvement anymore

today's nyt strands for the first time in my life i legitimately felt like i was having a stroke

billion dollar idea: one of those paint can shakers from the hardware store but miniaturized for use on jars of peanut butter when the oil has separated

yikes i thought it would've easily crossed fifty bucks by friday morning

can't belive it took me this long to realize how similar the names liam neeson and leslie nielsen sound

hmph zero likes touché to all my haters

attention: haters

i'm going to stop saying "that's crazy!" or "that's insane!" whenever someone tells me something remarkable and instead i'm going to say "that's remarkable!" i'm thinking of hearkening back

hmm yes and does this so-called pornhub have interactive word games that refresh daily i apologize for my ignorance but this only speaks on record to how unfamiliar i am to the website we are discussing

this guy's impression of al pacino randomly yelling "i like.... rj barrett!" to nobody in particular is also how i imagine @futurecanon.bsky.social spends his time from day to day old.reddit.com/r/billsimmon...

attn: @mentallyeel.bsky.social

occupation is a synonym for job just something to think about....

(to help my lengthy list of canadian mutuals understand the absurdity of such a notion: today is the american thanksgiving)

gonna do some yard work in my front yard today to impress my neighbors with my work ethic

i just want to start off by saying i'm extremely proud about what's about to happen next in this post... hey baby i hear the bluesky callin tossed salad and scrambled eggs right

@futurecanon.bsky.social they did it they finally #putkennybackinthegame