Wednesday

Tuesday

Attempting to navigate all the charity muggers on the high street.

Monday

Your move, punk.

You can only lose one item.

Sunday

Me, flirting

Follow my Insta for more recipes.

I may be too high. open.spotify.com/track/1onuiN...

Saturday

Just a lemonade for me, thanks.

Men, eh? *tuts*

Next cunt to ask me if I’ve watched The Traitors gets karate-chopped in the throat.

Friday

Humble-brag Thursday.

Wednesday

My heartburn will go on.

Tuesday

Monday

Sunday

Not sure what the Hell happened last night, but now the goldfish aren't speaking to each other. Again.

RIP Grandad 🪦

Saturday

Hope tonight is going ok for everyone. I've decapitated 13 dwarf zombies already. The ones carrying sweets are the worst, kill them quickly 🎃

Don’t do it, don’t do it. He’s going to do it isn’t he? 🔥

Friday

Classic

Straya

Thursday

Peace be upon you Jamaica 🇯🇲 youtu.be/GwkU_9quxPM?...

Wednesday

Tuesday

Twatcannon has entered the lexicon

Twat out of Hell.

Monday

My nephew is on a trip to Paris with his pals, he may have discovered cocaine.

Me and my wife reading your posts.

Sunday

Get tae fuck, ye stripy wee twats.

SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP SHLOP

Saturday

My wife and I like to leave behind clues that we're a couple on the run when leaving budget hotels. Empty hair dye boxes, cut-outs of passport photos, randomly annotated maps. Never get to see e fruits of our work, but I hope it has the desired effect.

Weird giraffes

Friday

Look mummy!

Can relate.