Koreydior
@koreydior.bsky.social
📤 57
📥 2
📝 1495
Believer🙏🏾
Can you all please stop asking santa for the perfect man. I nearly got kidnapped 3 times today.
26 minutes ago
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Don't you love it when you're cutting the wrapping paper and it goes like "———" instead of "~~~~~"
about 2 hours ago
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Triscuits are what l imagine the inside of a scarecrow tastes like
about 2 hours ago
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"I just told you 2 minutes ago" I do not control the remember
about 23 hours ago
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A fabric tomato filled with needles. You don’t see that much anymore
2 days ago
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How introverts make friends: 10% - They don't. 90% - An extrovert found them, liked them, and adopted them.
2 days ago
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i'm that person who will restart a song because i got distracted and wasn't appreciating it enough
2 days ago
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Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland enjoying the view and saying 'mooo' every day
2 days ago
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Do you ever open a text and think "I will reply when I have the energy" and then BOOM it's been two weeks and you're a terrible person
3 days ago
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i never seen a year go as fast as this one
3 days ago
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You don't have to transform overnight for God to be proud of you. Every small step you take toward Him matters more than you think.
3 days ago
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The most unthinkable part of Home Alone is that they had pizza and milk for dinner the night before an international flight.
4 days ago
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I'm feeling really anxious but haven't decided the main reason yet
4 days ago
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Christmas shopping is so hard when your personality is like you know who would love this?? Me
4 days ago
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I can't believe I have to say his, but pplease don't bring your socially anxious friend out to a gathering just to ignore them or leave them alone with a group of people they don't know well
5 days ago
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I love when I'm in the middle of speaking and suddenly I'm like, wait, I literally don't agree with what I'm saying.
5 days ago
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"Your body is a temple." My body is, at best, a bouncy castle that is slowly deflating.
5 days ago
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Saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM. Confused, I asked him what he was doing… He said: "Just checking my balance."
5 days ago
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Plane rides are weird to me because why are so many people leaving from where I am and going to where I'm going on the exact same day and time?
5 days ago
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if you don't sacrifice for what you want, what you want is gonna be the sacrifice
6 days ago
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You will have to pry Times New Roman 12pt Font from my cold dead hands.
6 days ago
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Nobody's overthinking your content as much as you are
6 days ago
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In case you're wondering, yes, we can absolutely reschedule. I don't care who you are or what we were planning on doing, i am 100% okay with not doing that thing at this time.
7 days ago
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My resume is just a list of things I never want to do again
7 days ago
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Do short people also start their stories like "when I was little" or do they just say "as l am today"?
7 days ago
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if you knew me before my 20s, you never actually knew me. you knew season 1 me. we were severely underfunded and the writing team was going through a lot.
7 days ago
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there should be a grammy for best voice note sent over text
7 days ago
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I think something is missing in my life ... like 3-4 Million dollars.
8 days ago
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In awe of people I see jogging with no headphones. Not in it for the health, but in it for the suffering.
9 days ago
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I just found out some people do sock, shoe, sock, shoe. Not sock, sock, shoe, shoe. I'm sorry... what kind of emotional instability is that.
9 days ago
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The nicer the house, the harder to find the kitchen trash can.
9 days ago
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neighbor: [knocks at door] "your dog was barking at 4am this morning" me: "its almost like he has no concept of time"
9 days ago
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Stages of holiday shopping 1. Plenty of time 2. Gifts for myself 3. Oh no
9 days ago
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you can"t just abbreviate phrases all william nilliam
10 days ago
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I like that we made a butterfly landing on you something special. Because that is a bug
10 days ago
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Apple, if I unsend a message just let it be that. The whole announcement is crazy
10 days ago
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no one: me: do you want ur present now?
10 days ago
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How do you professionally say, "If you book me in meetings all day, when do you expect me to get this work done?" in corporate?
11 days ago
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I used to be cool but now I say things like "Why is it so loud in this restaurant?"
11 days ago
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I think the funniest thing ever is when you wake up a snoring person and tell them "You gotta stop." like they can control it
11 days ago
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So what do y'all think Mac N. Cheese's middle name is! I'm serious.
11 days ago
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The worst part about shopping online is having to get up and get your card
12 days ago
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In conclusion I need a cinnamon roll
12 days ago
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Do you ever go to a big city and think "I bet their TJMAXX is incredible" bc I do
12 days ago
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Very bold of the creator of spinach and artichoke dip to name it that when it's 95% cheese
12 days ago
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Day 10 without coffee: Lost hearing in my right arm.
12 days ago
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Neverrrr underestimate how much of a blessing it is to have zero health problems
13 days ago
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Remember spelling tests? Teachers would be like "Take out a sheet of lined paper and number it 1-20."
13 days ago
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"So what do you want for Christmas?" Well, lately I've been really into groceries and gas. Utilities are cool. Stuff like that.
13 days ago
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"We should catch up soon" is the biggest lie of adulthood
14 days ago
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