I want to make a jazz band where all our songs are based around Norse mythology and call it Jazzgard

We gonna rock harder than the storm ⚡️

It’s kinda funny that a lot of the most progressive men look like the movie version of ultra macho toxic masculine meatheads and in reality the macho toxic jerks look like the most annoying kind of Rick Moranis character

You know a real Christmas miracle would be someone kissing you real hard and sweet and leaving a symmetrical pair of mysterious wet patches on your bed and then NOT ghosting you uhhhh yeah just the large strawberry banana smoothie, no boba

Friendly reminder that Christmas as we know it is not a Christian invention but rather an amalgamation of pagan holidays and their traditions , such as Saturnalia, the Gathering of the Juggalos, and Sol Invictus

The mall Santa has been replaced with a QR code that generates an AI Santa you can put your AI child in a picture with. MerrAI Christmas 💖

So hyped to play our album release show with some of the best people in the world !🤘🩵🌟

Omg! If you put a platypus under UV light it actually does look like Perry! Perry the platypus!🩵

Watching the new Knives Out movie and thinking they should just get Benoit Blanc to play Gambit’s dad in an X-Men movie And it works even better because one of Gambit’s nicknames is “Le Diable Blanc”

Who comes up with the brand names of prescription medication? Why do they all sound like that? Like is there some formula the names all have to adhere to? Why not get funky with it?

I had a dream my family’s shih tzu poodle never stopped growing so I came home and it was like over 6 feet long and like 200+ pounds , just lounging

So why were like all the short stories we had to read in high school just about upper middle class white people quietly going insane?

I’m just a boi, standing in front of a grrl, telling her it’s fine if she’s not ready for a full-on Relationship, but could she maybe move me up like half a rung from “backup plan when her friends cancel on her”? She leaves me on read

Manifesting FIWB energy because I don’t know if I can manifest Actual Solutions ✨

For a moment I was like Why is there a safari hat on the counter?

you would not believe your socks if ten million firehawks

Destiny is calling me to cut my bangs. I might have to block destiny’s number; I don’t think bangs would work for me

So New Mexico is actually a real place? I thought it was some sci-fi thing like Neo Tokyo or Nueva York

Sometimes you gotta hold a homie’s sword

I think part of the reason I love Marvel movies (apart from being a lifelong comic geek) is that I too find it hard to say anything serious without undercutting it with silliness right after

Had a nightmare last night where I got added back to the group chat

I went on a date recently and I thought it was going kinda well but I think I fumbled it when she asked if I ate soup And I was like “no, I don’t eat soup” She didn’t text me back after that

How can I be expected to Integrate the Shadow Self under these conditions?

I’m not trying to judge anyone but I don’t really understand p*rn because I don’t want to watch anyone have s3x unless one or both of them is me

What’s it called when you’re a sugar baby but instead of money you want attention and instead of a sugar daddy it’s the whole world? I think I’m that

Tbh I’m a little obscene to myself too But like in kind of a hot way

Maturity is realizing when you’ve been Single White Female’d ✨

Life is weird because like how do I know so many people who’ve transitioned but it seems like the only person I know who’s legally changed their name is a cis woman from Poland who got tired of Starbucks baristas misspelling her name ?

Trolling the dark forces of the universe by refusing to become cynical and choosing to bring as much light and joy and, yes, whimsy into the world as I can ✨

Fourteen words? How about these fourteen words: Na na na na na na na na na na na na Gerard Forever 🖤

When people are like “everyone’s a little autistic” and “everyone’s a little bisexual” I’m thinking “everyone’s a little nonbinary” But y’all ain’t ready for that conversation

I hate gay Halloween because what do you mean you’re the trans pride Animorphs gender neutral bathroom sign? (Low key want to get a group together to do this costume next year)

Omg y’all I just noticed this rabbit pumpkin on my street I loooove him 💗

Maybe I need to be dommed, I could use a break from making decisions

Me: makes a few posts about breaking up with my boyfriend Facebook targeted advertising: say no more

I feel like usually when I dream other people in the dream aren’t extremely well realized unless they’re people I know But I just had a dream that I was on a date with some guy I’ve never seen before and he was extremely detailed physically and emotionally And I didn’t like him much

Too babygirl to live, too kawaii to die ✨

The new Hot Apollo album is already up for preorder (DM me or check out our website, Hot Apollo dot com) But it’s out NOW if you’re in Kentucky And our Halloween music video’s out tomorrow 🧡

Am I still straight edge if I’m possibly addicted to oxytocin?

This is the only acceptable response when someone says you look gay, by the way

You are someone’s 67

My only crime is being too silly Though I did commit several misdemeanors in the process of being too silly

How often do y’all say hi to pigeons ? Like not necessarily getting into a convo or anything, just greeting them as you pass? Just wondering what the normal amount is

So today I found out there was a bit of dialogue in the first Star Wars movie that Mark Hammill begged George Lucas to cut because it was the most “these people would never say this” craziness ever But it contained the phrase “fear is their greatest defense” and no lie that line goes hard as hell

It’s always ggtfom never rtde

We’re Transinistas ✊