WallyWookie Meme - A footprint (my footprint) on a snowy deck, text says, "I am normal for me"

I need a foxtail and a radiator brush and a bathroom trashcan...and window winterizing stuff I need to round up the rest of my self-tapping screws for roomie

I'm all over the map over keeping my kayak and gear. My latest filter is "things that Kita the husky and I can do together" My knuckles haven't hurt all day (that I can tell). Not even stuffing them into my Carhartt shorts pockets phased them

I've been preparing for decades for this. Every first snow, first robin of the year, first thunderstorm, death of a friend, these are all recurring holidays in my calendar. My calendar is full of life and death...and memories. If some start disappearing I am as ready as I can possibly be

This is the anniversary of Diesel Dawg's (the Samoyed / Siberian husky cross) passing She was a loyal friend who would rein you in if you crossed her...as long as she had the illusion of being in-charge she was fine Family

My most favoritest car, my dream car is a 1969 Datsun Fairlady 2000 roadster. Red, obviously

I did a couple hours of nighttime trailer backing the other night and I got things ready to go rather haphazardly. In fact, so haphazardly that I missed a swath of things. This will not stand I am making a pre-towing checklist

Laundry Sorting shit Figuring shit out

I don't know how to put this, so... When I find a photo that I don't remember I throw it out. Each one is a bucket of rabbit holes, and clearly I've lived this long without them Tossing things, and I don't feel good or bad about it, it's necessary for a number of reasons Brain damage life

I saw every hour tick by on the clock last night Who knows how much sleep that was Little things to do today, as many as i can get to

I have 8 boxes (1.5 foot square) of my stuff sorted and pruned and sorted. Not certain it will all fit and that will be ok. Next will be my boots and clothes After that i add another solar panel, repair a section of the underside, install my composting toilet, and fix (or replace) the furnace

My hypersexuality self-destruction finally petered out today, things have been hard for over a week No self-harm occurred Those plans still work reliably

I'm gonna finally get rid of my slide rule (1978)

I have been told (over and over) that being able to see my awkwardness in communicating/interacting is indicative of some pretty advanced observational and cognitive skills...and so, I am somewhat mollified (not really)(acceptance is a little fucker)

You know, I can deal with losing all my backups, I'm finally at peace with just saying fukkit...until I need that one file that I had in my hand the other day...

Creating my 3rd backup. I can live with only 3

10 to 11hrs sleep, much more depressed than hypomanic; mixed-state downswing Breathing Gonna do up some coffee

Currently i am the face of cognitive decline Speaking, conversations, memory, words borked But i am also the face of letting go and moving on I see the glitches, can't do anything but keep moving (ok, naps are good)

I split-off some of my survival gear for roomie's van and got him a sleeping bag

Kita the husky walk #2

I built my house right on the edge of the Abyss; we sing to each other and engage in meme-crimes-sharing

My pain is at an 8 out of 10. Nausea management underway so I can eat

( and it's not that I'm bigger-than-life, cuz I'm not... I have had a big, fuckin life and you can't hide that shit )

This is how I learned to manage my issues with psychosis (psychoses) After years of mapping symptoms and actions and outcomes it became apparent that every one of my psychosis episodes begins with simple paranoia. If I manage that paranoia I do not have a psychotic episode

Mach 5 hypomania for certain. [Backspace] remains robust and necessary

Sleep - Mebbe 4hrs (but nap yesterday afternoon Coffee - ✅ Mixed-state hypomanic-heavy swing (Mach 4+) Addressing my staging areas in the house Licking my knuckles (no I am not, shut up)

Robin has been a friend to me for years; not just here, but when my MH journal was on twiXter If you can help i would be so grateful, and she would be beside herself with joy gofund.me/832128973

Things that test my self-management schemes...and force me to adjust my course...and keep me on my fumckin toes, JFC... I post a lot of stuff, but at it's core I'm posting so that I can keep track and understand. It's all about understanding-driven self-management

Just took a sip of water from my glass and out of the edge of my vision I saw a critter on my Left paw. Oh, those are lines of ink

I want to be tired. We're gonna see...in a bit...

I've never been able to summarize what I am. But I am what I do, so that makes it messier to figure out

[Backspace] is working brilliantly'ish and is necessary. Not mania, but hypomania

Roomie has spent most waking moments working and doing daily living stuff in his van with an eye for live-a-bility. Gave him a lighting primer, talked about USB lights and 12-volt lights...and superbrightleds.com

TACO ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Also, I bought some more garam masala last night

I got every kind of advice from people on how to manage the pain of knuckle tattoos. The guy who did my crow tat told 4 of them to look at my head tat and then STFU. I laughed, and I'm grateful There are creams, there is ice, there are so many choices I choose to enjoy my pain, thamkewes

The tattoo artist asked me what I wanted and I spelled out the mechanics. And he asked me again what I wanted and I said (what I have said 5-times now)... I want you to be an artist and be happy with your work. I'm gonna flash that tat everywhere...but I believe in letting artists be artistic

Part of me wants me to shut up, the other part of me... I'm 61-years old and ultradian bipolar with brain damage(s), and I am *never* stable. But I am the poster child for self-managed...and that's always one breath away from mayhem In the moment I love mayhem Braim is managing, using my tools

For a brief moment i was gonna get SUCK THIS BITCH on my Right knuckles

Here we go

It seems certain that it's going to rain

I'm not the get-a-tattoo-on-a-bipolar-upswing guy; I'm ultradian bipolar and don't have that much skin My tats have to have significance to my life, i consider them for years Stay the course; hold fast; don't react, respond. It's also an alert to others that I'm working on it

Yeah, I'm ok No matter which way this goes, I'm ok

Hypomanic at the top of that scale (Mach 5). Been using mental gooning to dickstract myself (thank you tinies and giants) I reviewed and I've been building on these symptoms for at least a weak Mental gooning is short-term-only. I have to decouple that reality from my own at some point

Things that [Backspace] means The ability to reflect and self-edit, especially considering outcomes and consequences For me, this is the divide between hypomania and mania; reflection and caring about the consequences. As my mania increases my concern for the consequences wanes sharply

Listening to Korn and Disturbed and Primus and Oingo Boingo Looking at my symptoms, monitoring for mania. It's unclear where i am right now, but i see a tell or two

3hrs of sleep. Sorta mostly I'm gonna get knuckle tattoos today (been thinking it over for over a year) HOLD FAST

Bought some towing mirrors Bought an oven rack for my RV oven Bought a 5gal water bottle hand pump Need tire chains for the truck Need tire chains for the trailer Mebbe I'll look at sparkly lights...

He has a proper mechanic's tool box, computer, place to sleep safely, reliable phone, transportation. We were talking last weekend and he told me it is time for him to move on I hope i haven't set him up to fail harder...though, i understand that's all on him. I worry I need my space Out loud

I can make a small shelf above my laser printer in the trailer and then i will have a place for my manic-purchased photo printer that i love