Me: hey, wanna help me solve this mystery Husband (sleep talking): is it about Amelia Earhart

Time to teach myself the roster by playing stupid little mind games like “Justin Cage was an All Wright player”.

Today I learned that when you are on extended hold with Chili’s they start asking trivia questions such as “what food is this?” and then they just starting playing fajita sounds.

@miltqllamaiii.bsky.social what does this mean and should I buy it

The good news is my husband retuned home after being gone for eight days and the bad news is that I was designed to live alone.

Probably the biggest fight I’ve ever had with my spouse occurred in college when he tried to teach me euchre and the second was yesterday when he tried to teach me NYT’s Pips.

my friend had a baby 13 days ago and today her husband asked how to spell the baby’s name

Someone was just spelling something out for me and he said “E as in eyeball” and I just think we can do better than that.

Husband just returned from a work trip during which I had a large tree chopped down from the backyard and painted a room a wildly obscene color without warning him of any this

The world is a dumpster fire, so maybe checking some work emails will be a nice distraction. The work emails:

Shoutout to the dude who asked to stop our Zoom inverview to go get some water because I was “making him really nervous” and then left himself unmuted while he went into the next room to complain about me to his mom.

Me: The very first text that came through was my sister telling me Travis and Taylor are engaged. Husband: Big rock. Me: How did you already see it when we’ve been out of cell service all day? Husband: No, look over there at that big rock.

Found out that if I do not promptly download iOS updates on my work phone that they just….turn it off.

last night I saw someone I knew at Costco and told my husband to be discreet because I didn’t feel like talking to them and instead he proceeded to slam his cart into an entire display of Adirondack chairs

Last night my 80 pound dog fell out of bed and made an 80 pound thud while landing on top of my other dog who started growling all whilst I was yelling “ARE YOU OK” and my husband slept through the entire thing.

I have to update a work password to “comply with new standards” and the requirements are already absurd, but “cannot be a word found in any dictionary, thesaurus, or list” is especially neat.

Old lady gripe of the day: I am never going to *watch* your podcast. I stare at screens all day long and I simply want to *listen* to your podcast without requiring the use of my eyeballs. Amen.

My internet access is blocked on one of my work computers so god willing they are gonna fire me.

I got my hair cut yesterday and my stylist was training a new girl who was fresh out of hair school and she just stood there and silently stared at me the entire appointment.

My stress levels are like 60% work, 20% Xavier basketball, 5% miscellaneous, and 15% driving behind people who don’t know how to use roundabouts.

if you are a person who answers while someone is in the middle of leaving you a “live voicemail”, just know that you are a psychopath.

I have watched JD Vance drop that trophy about fifty six times and I laugh just as hard every single time.

It’s just so sad to me that no one else gets the joy of being passive aggressive on a fax cover sheet in the year of our lord 2025.

I have entirely too much anxiety to be watching Paradise.

I think if Xavier ever lost the way Houston just did that I would yeet myself into the Ohio River.

That was anticlimactic.

It’s not fair.

Following your coach to a new school must be so weird like “welp guess we both live in ohio now”

what if I die in a tornado and my last moments were spent watching the crown

yesterday a guy told me about eating peanut butter and psychedelic mushroom sandwiches and I have been craving a peanut butter sandwich (sans drugs) ever since.

you’re telling me I have to learn to spell Borovicanin

audibly lol’d alone at my desk when he asked why no one ever asks about his mom

what kind of mental illness do you have because here is mine

I will personally buy a basketball player just so we can have at least one. Who do I contact

I don’t know if it’s because Xavier played an extra game or because this past week and a half has lasted six years, but it seems like we should be further along than the Sweet Sixteen by now.

Don’t gotta worry about NIL funds when you’ve got no players to pay.

a mere seven days ago I was having one of the best nights of my life and I can’t even comprehend everything that has happened since

Joining a last minute company-wide call and I’m praying I’m getting fired.

“Yeah he sucked, but he was YOUNG so it’s probably fine”

I want to vomit.

I briefly thought Rick Pitino was wearing a hoodie and I was like “wow he actually looks good dressed like a normal person” and then I realized it was a weird scarf situation instead.

The good news after this horrendous weekend is that I still have my super stressful unstable job to return to tomorrow.

I just keep shouting “I don’t even care about this specific situation, I just hate the overall landscape of college basketball” into the void

On Wednesday night, someone tweeted that Freemantle looks like he steals catalytic converters and I have been laughing about it ever since.

If these games keep being boring as hell I am just gonna rewatch last night’s.

also, because I am ridiculous, my parents drove from Columbus to Cincinnati just to watch my dogs so I could go to Dayton. And now my dad is eating his popcorn like this.

I cried.

I am going to throw up.