“Nice family you got there, would be a shame if something happened to them.” statuskuo.substack.com/p/mtg-v-djt

A pedophile must always protect his friends! people.com/trump-yelled...

Over the past 11 months, Sleepy Joe Biden has foolishly "deprioritized Africa" and given up all of America's influence in "Nigeria," allowing ISIS to rise again like me from a nap during a Cabinet meeting! THAT ENDS TODAY WITH THE LAUNCH OF OPERATION JEFFREY WHO? Merry Trumpmas!

Merry Christmas to all, even to the Leader of the Radical Left Scum, a very bad man called Jesus Christ, whose radical philosophy of love, mercy, and selfless service has so destroyed our country! So I am removing this "woke" socialist's name from our special day. MERRY TRUMPMAS!

We still have a million more documents we need to take my name out of! www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

I was never on Epstein's plane! Except for maybe the eight times that have now been revealed. But no more than that, believe me!

How could Jeffrey Epstein possibly know that I love young, nubile girls. That is something I have kept very secret my whole life!

Angry @msignorile.bsky.social has just ruined my Christmas! I thought I would at least get to the midterms before my MAGA stupids would realize that these days I get my kicks from fucking them (metaphorically) instead of teenage girls (literally). Sad! www.signorile.com/p/maga-in-20...

I'M IN THE EPSTEIN FILES MORE THAN BILL CLINTON EVER WAS!

I am very excited to announce the new Trump-class Battleship! This will be a very large and very powerful ship, much larger than one might expect for a Navy with such small hands. I would captain it myself except if it wasn't for my recent bone spur flareup.

Big thanks to Sloppy Steve for his role in the #TrumpEpsteinCoverup! www.thefarce.org/where-are-ba... via @thefarce.org

Many people are asking what happened to Elise Stefanik's soul after she sold it to Donald Trump. I finally got rid of it after 15 flushes! www.nytimes.com/2025/12/19/u...

FAKE CHOCOLATE NEWS! www.cnbc.com/2025/12/22/w...

Thank you, Bari Weiss! I've told the Ellisons you can keep your job for another 10,080 minutes.

I am not ruling out war with Venezuela. It all depends on how much of the Epstein Files Pam, Todd, and Ka$h were able to redact. www.nbcnews.com/politics/don...

Very exciting release today! Who will be going to see "The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants"? I hear it's incredible!

Many people are asking why a "Warrior Dividend" and not a "Peace Dividend." It's because I'll be starting a war as soon as the Epstein Files are released.

Stop complaining about "AFFORDABILITY." Just eat less, turn the heat down, and put on an extra sweater and some nice mittens! And stop buying your kids so many fucking pencils!

Can't wait for the Dan Bongino podcast when he tells us what he really saw! #EpsteinFiles unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/part...

I am sad to announce that Dan Bongino will be leaving his position as Deputy Director of the FBI, as this means I will need to find someone else to replace Kash Patel.

My administration moved very powerfully and very strongly to eliminate the waste, fraud and abuse that was allowing starving refugees to feed their malnourished bodies and fight off infections. Many babies died, but it made Elon very happy! www.propublica.org/article/keny...

Many people are asking this.

If Canada just agreed to be the 51st State, I wouldn't suck so on jobs much! www.canadianmortgagetrends.com/2025/12/cana...

WE NOW HAVE CONCEPTS OF A PLAN FOR YOU TO DIE IN MEDICAL BANKRUPTCY. YOU'RE WELCOME, LOOSERS! www.cnbc.com/2025/12/16/a...

I will be giving an address to the nation tonight to explain why a "JOBPOCALYPSE" is actually a good thing! #jobsreport #imnotcryingyourecrying unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/the-...

The latest jobs report is so bad, I've asked Pam Bondi to speed up the release of the Epstein Files.

The latest jobs report is so bad, I've asked Pam Bondi to speed up the release of the Epstein Files.

ROB REINER WAS SO MUCH NICER TO ME THAN MY CURRENT CHIEF OF STAFF SUSIE WILES! www.nytimes.com/2025/12/16/u... (gift link)

Today's jobs report is not a good sign & we could be facing another recession. No real job growth. We need over 300K new jobs a month.

Let us eat cake! www.propublica.org/article/usai...

I JUST ACED ANOTHER DEMENTIA TEST IN MY SLEEP! OR MAYBE IT WAS A DREAM! unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/if-h...

Many people are saying the only way to cure my Trump Derangement Syndrome is with the 25th Amendment. unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/trum...

Many people are saying that if the tech fascists have their way, democracy will die in broad daylight www.thenerdreich.com/tech-billion... via @gilduran.com

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T AFFORD FOOD STAMPS IN THIS COUNTRY! www.cnbc.com/2025/12/15/f... #TrumpCorruption

Your grocery receipts have Trump Derangement Syndrome!

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT #BENGHAZI ANYMORE? time.com/7340655/us-s...

We must not allow states' rights to stand in the way of broligarchs or grifting! www.pbs.org/newshour/pol...

OK, I confess. The #TrumpAffordabilityCrisis is real.

I told you that releasing the files would hurt people. And when I say "people," I mean me! unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/part... #EpsteinFiles

Big strong men are coming up to me with tears in their eyes.

National debt: $38.4 trillion Annual interest on the debt: $1 trillion Military budget: $900 billion Argentina bailout: $40 billion Fucking healthcare consumers: Priceless

It took me 10 years, but I'm finally ready to reveal my plan: FUCK YOU ALL!

THANKS TO ME, IT'S SAFE ENOUGH TO EAT IN A RESTAURANT IN WASHINGTON DC AGAIN. UNFORTUNATELY, NONE OF YOU LOSERS CAN AFFORD IT! www.nytimes.com/2025/12/10/b...

EVERYONE EXCEPT MARJORIE TRAITOR GREENE AND OTHER STUPIDS UNDERSTANDS THAT "AMERICA FIRST" MEANS BAILING OUT ARGENTINA, INVADING VENEZUELA, AND RATIONING PENCILS!

I KNOW MORE ABOUT DEMENTIA TESTS THAN THE NEUROLOGISTS DO! unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/if-h...

I promised Elon a White Christmas, just like the apartheid ones he used to know! Don't let me down Kristi! hyperallergic.com/anti-ice-nat...

EXCITING NEWS! PRICES ARE ALL COMING DOWN! IT'S AMAZING! TURNS OUT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU ELECT SOMEONE WITH DEMENTIA!

THE TARIFFS ARE WORKING! AMERICANS ARE LOSING LOTS OF WEIGHT BECAUSE THEY CAN NO LONGER AFFORD GROCERIES!

CONVENTIONAL WISDOM WATCH: ⬆️ Pardoned Honduran drug traffickers ⬇️ Murdered Venezuelan fishermen ⬆️ Farmers getting a $12B taxpayer-funded bailout ⬇️ Consumers paying 15% more for beef ⬆️ Argentinians getting a $40B US bailout ⬇️ Americans paying 200% more for healthcare

Many people are saying Little Marco is Christian in the tweets, anti-Christian in the streets unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/the-...