I finally found something that polls worse than I do! unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/ever...

Cancel the World Cup! I already got my money from FIFA. And it's non-refundable!

A single Ebola carrier infects 2 others at a minimum. STOP THE FLIGHTS! NO VISAS FROM EBOLA STRICKEN COUNTRIES!

Ebola is much easier to transmit than the CDC and government representatives are admitting. Spreading all over Africa-and fast. Stop flights.

We must immediately stop all air traffic coming from the Ebola infected areas of Africa—before it is too late.

Lauren Boebert is so weak-minded she wanted to release the #EpsteinFiles!

Being FBI Director has allowed Kash Patel to cross so many priceless travel experiences off his taxpayer-funded bucket list!

It's only a matter of time before everyone LOVES the golden statue of me! Elon Musk, Peter Thiel and Larry Ellison will make sure of that, you disgusting proles! time.com/article/2026...

Everybody agrees with me that it's OK for Americans to suffer financially. Putin agrees. Xi agrees. And I know the Iranians are very happy that Americans are suffering terribly. I've seen their Lego videos.

President Xi has very kindly given me some rose seeds to plant, so I definitely got something from the meeting.

It's easy to make a deal with President Xi when neither of you give a fuck about the financial worries of everyday Americans! www.dailymail.com/news/article...

Suck it, poors. youtube.com/watch?v=IP_IlsfM4VI&feature=youtu.be

I snooze, you lose! I wake up, you lose more! unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/trum...

Somebody's doing the raping. www.eenews.net/articles/tru...

I know more about the Bible than the Pope does! Just ask the Corinthian twins! www.huffpost.com/entry/baptis...

I have a great plan to end the war with Iran!

Who knew the deal Barack Obama made with Iran — the same one I spent years trashing — would suddenly look as attractive to me as a 15-year-old in a bikini at Jeffrey Epstein's house? www.dailymail.com/news/article...

MAKE BISON EXTINCT AGAIN! www.nytimes.com/2026/05/04/u...

Big strong men keep coming up to me with tears in their eyes saying, "I miss Biden." www.cnbc.com/2026/04/30/p... #TrumpSlump #TrumpAffordabilityCrisis

I WILL BLOCKADE IRAN UNTIL IT AGREES TO A NUCLEAR DEAL LIKE IT DID WITH OBAMA!!!

FIRE JIMMY KIMMEL! ARREST JAMES COMEY! MAKE COMEDY LEGAL AGAIN!

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN ANYMORE???

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE ADD ME TO THE SIGNAL CHAT!!! www.theatlantic.com/national-sec...

In Texas, they now display the 10 Commandments in schools because Republicans understand we must teach children hypocrisy at a young age! unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/deat...

A Russian superyacht has crossed the U.S. blockade of the Strait of Hormuz, after Barron confirmed the toll had been received in his crypto wallet. No further questions! www.straitstimes.com/world/europe...

YOUR KIDS HAVE DESKS TO HIDE UNDER! I NEED A $400 MILLION BALLROOM TO FEEL SAFE! www.thetrace.org/2025/10/scho...

Obama's deal with Iran was very boring! Just what you'd expect from someone who never won the FIFA Peace Prize!

We have finally found a loser and sucker we can arrest for insider trading. Spoiler alert: it's not one of my kids! www.nbcnews.com/business/bus...

Happy Earth Day to all who plunder it!

I predict a GREAT DEAL WITH IRAN, but please don't compare it to the one Obama made in 2015, which many people say was significantly greater.

Martha Stewart was an amateur! bbc.com/news/article...

We don't need foreign psy ops campaigns to help Republicans steal elections anymore! We have Elon! unprecedented.ghost.io/archive/the-...

MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN! www.nytimes.com/2026/04/06/o...

What's going on?? I just asked FIFA to help me blockade the Vatican and they told me Pope Leo was more popular than Lionel Messi so they would sit this one out! www.npr.org/2026/04/16/n...

Thanks, JD! I was worried about burning in hell alone. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/14/u...

I haven't felt this humiliated since two hookers peed on me in Moscow.

You can't spell JEANIUS without most of the letters you need to spell JESUS!

I am delighted to announce that my very smart and incredibly intelligent son Eric will be joining me on my trip to China! Susie Wiles tells me that his presence will make it less likely that the Chinese will realize I have a serious case of dementia.

"We cannot let a country blackmail or extort the world!!!" That's why I am blockading the Strait of Hormuz while attempting to blackmail or extort Venezuela, Greenland, Cuba, and Canada. Thank you for attention to this matter! PRESIDENT DONALD JESUS TRUMP www.reuters.com/world/middle...

I HAVE ENDED THE BLOCKADE ON THE PRIDE FLAG AT STONEWALL! DOES THAT COUNT?

The Pope is weaker on crime than anyone since Jesus!

I served with Mike Pence. I knew Mike Pence. Mike Pence was a friend of mine. JD is no Mike Pence.

I am pleased to announce that Mr. V. Orban of Budapest has agreed to be the new head of CNN. Exciting!

JD Vance kills again! First, Pope Francis, now Viktor Orban! www.france24.com/en/live-news...

I WILL BLOCKADE THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ AND STOP IRAN FROM PROFITING FROM ILLEGAL TOLLS UNTIL THEY AGREE TO GIVE ME A CUT! www.yahoo.com/news/article...

Many people are saying my Make Iran Great Again campaign has been a tremendous success! #MIGA www.npr.org/2026/04/09/n...

It's what Jeffrey would have wanted.

I am excited to announce that the White House Ballroom will be built exclusively with high-quality European steel! Having worked with top Italian families in the NY construction business for so many years, I can tell you this is so much better than the shit steel made in America.

Even if the war ends today, your gas prices and groceries will cost more for months. But on the plus side, you'll also be losing your Medicaid and Food Stamps.