not thin enough to be conventionally attractive, not fat enough for those into fat bitches to be into me

I know I haven't made it as a tranny coz I don't have (and never have had) any chasers

chest pain just below the boob that was engorged yesterday ouch owie could just be sleeping in a funny position or it could be more development ig

just realised one of my nipples has been engorged all morning and idk why it's starting to hurt

once again I find myself haunted by my past and my mistakes against my will

one of my most common mistakes is assuming everyone is as lonely as I am

I think I just want to be loved again

at the point where I can have the most normal, nothing really happens ass day and I still want to stop existing by the end of it

I only have myself to blame for all this, and the time before that, and the time before that

hiding my zinc and folic acid since I obviously can't be trusted with them

crossed some boundaries I wasn't aware of again god fucking dammit I'll never stop making the same mistakes I'm a fucking monster who deserves to die

had an experience at work today that was a stark reminder that I'm beyond any and all help

I'm genuinely such a fucking monster all my pleasure comes at the expense of other people

I shouldn't have eaten this morning I feel like such a fat piece of shit

been feeling the spectre of death in the air a whole lot today and then I find out my 95 year old grandma is in hospital with a mystery hard to identify condition given the symptoms I have a fraught relationship with all of my family at the best of times, but she is my last surviving grandparent

experiencing what it's like to love and be loved and then eventually having sex has slowly changed me for the worse

thinking about the brief period in my life where I was starting to develop bulimia, that was cool I should go back to that someday if I figure out how to get any privacy in this house

big week for remembering how much I despise myself and how the only way out of my shitty job, living condition, and situation, is to end it all

once again I am proved right to my own detriment

i genuinely hate how much of a fat fuck I am I've always been like this and any attempt at losing weight fails instantly it make me so ugly and my body so difficult to maintain with things like shaving and acne control I just wanna tear it all off and start over from a skeleton

i don't want to keep living like this I can't keep living like this

revised a video of me sucking cock and got damn I'm ugly, how can anyone stay hard with this hideous freak working on them

got a like on a post from a month ago where I'm pointing out how I'm a fat fuck pathetic transfem with bad makeup skills and i nor my mutuals have ever interacted with this account Who Are You What Do You Want

if I were to ever try dating apps I'd want to specify a t4t preference in my bio, but at the same time I'd feel like the biggest chaser loser if I put that on there idk

I'm so fucking lonely in this country omfg

I want to meet more of my online friends and mutuals irl of course, but at the same time I'm at a dangerously high risk of doing the whole cars "I want you" thing with too many of them

it arrived today btw and my horrors still persist unfortunately

valentine's is a few weeks away and I'm gonna be alone again yes, but I'm more so haunted that in about a year I'll have to face one of the biggest predicaments of my life so far and I'm gonna need a whole year of being wished good luck before I get more comfortable with it

constantly hearing that my bestie's biggest problem rn is a game console she got for Christmas was faulty and she needed to send it in for repairs and it's taking over a week to get shipped back to her really puts into perspective just how much deep shit im in with the countless problems I have rn

making themselves upset Champion 2026

if I ever fumble this badly ever again it might be it for me

reluctantly added my age to my bio, it was hard for me coz I hate talking about my age and my birthday I hate the concept of me being celebrated every year for no reason can I just age every day and on some arbitrary day another year passes without anyone noticing or caring please and thank you

going through it, and by it let's just say... unfulfillable and unhealthy yearning

there's still room for fio

if I send them alt/emo catgirl style reels at 2am and say absolutely nothing they're bound to want to fuck me again

another thing that upset me about the other day when some work friends came over to my place was the subject of kinks and fetishes came up since one of the work friends is being pretty open about it, and the other has told me some of his but wants to keep the other colleague guessing...

gearing up for a nap and thinking about all the times I've had cum shooting down my throat

I wonder if anyone ever thinks about me in the shower

last night was sexually satisfying yes, but today I'm left wanting someone to come over and get high with over a pizza and a movie and then after they suck on my boobs and give me a footjob

kinda forgor how tight you get after not riding it for almost three years, still took it like a champ tho 💪😤

nothing I do ever matters ot will ever make anything better for myself or others, what's even the point of me anymore

there's only ever been one person in the whole of my life who's ever been attracted to me enough that not only do they take me on a date, but we end up fucking as well can you blame me for trying to get back with them again and being disappointed when the same problems come back?

homo loan for a full week, you know what that means (cleaning all my sex toys and railing myself silly that's what)

can't shake the feeling that the girl who kept cancelling on me a few months back killed herself

I've spent all day avoiding a breakdown that would lead to harming myself and it's still yet to happen, be proud of me

ineed ticut myself to fucking shreds but I can't find my knife uuuggghhhhh

I want to be loved again

we've all had that one splatfest that makes you suicidal

oh man it sure is tiring being so right about everything all the time

having strong sexual fantasies about friends with benefits in the us again and I'm not due to be back for another 4 months uuugghhhh why does everyone who likes me have to be so far away it's unbearable sometimes