I haven’t said it in a while, so: my god he’s so cute and hot

Sure "doing kinky things" is cool but have you tried "trading logistically impossible kink fantasies with friends until your spinal column feels like it's full of Pop Rocks and then going to bed content"

It's my birthday so you gotta say (1) nice thing about my null spot or my tailfeathers

Spending an entire livestream on Twitch ignoring a flood of messages from friends linking you to a commission you got with nothing but captions like "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO???"

The last thing I posted on this account was that I was feeling down, but I've 100% bounced back. I had a great combination of sentimental "what toons mean to me" talks with some folks while being outrageously horny with others. Some people even got both! I'm getting weirder and worse for the better

“Hmmm, I’ve been in a funk this week that I can’t describe and could use some genuine connection” is a great mood to be in when the Connection Website is imploding like a neutron star

*after the two hour long presentation about all the locations and residents of my persistent fictional setting* ok so where do you wanna bang

Guess what Chicken butt

I need a break from being the overeager flirtatious toon who can’t keep his hands off someone and won’t respect their personal space. Does anyone want to be the overeager screwball toon who can’t keep their hands off me or respect my personal space

Kissing isn’t enough, I need to press my beak into someone’s face so hard their shout compresses and makes sour accordion notes

🦆: OK, so, yes. I got to put on clown makeup and wear oversized baggy pants with giant goofy shoes today while throwing pies at a stooge doing a fun little skit. But why does my brain feel like it's stuffed with Christmas lights? 🧠: bro that's identity euphoria 🦆: OOOOOOHH

It's all fun and games until the toony fursuit makes eye contact with me. Then it's still fun and games but I can't form coherent sentences anymore

Work is having a self-care day in the office which features sample-size chair massages and guess who 🎶✨accidentally moaned while sitting next to their HR director✨🎶

BlueSky you GOTTA stop crashing, it's Ace Day and I'm TRYING to get my null spot appreciated over here

Currently hiring for my new maid drone cleaning service, “Spotless & Thoughtless”

Life would be easier if I had a normal relationship with sex but as a gamer I simply can't resist a challenge run

Yes all these rabbits are cuties, yes the artistry and concept are fantastic, but specifically I need to say that image of Roger taking off his clothing is activating neurons in my brain that evolution made dormant for safety reasons

*Dracula Flow voice* pantless cartoon characters takin’ their shirts off and then acting embarrassed that they’re naked has me out in the street twirling a butterfly knife in either had and speaking in tongues

Sometimes you gotta buy clown shoes on eBay and think about a drag character persona to get through the day sometimes happiness is the question "what if I WAS a hot nurse"

Still thinking about cute toons and furiously making out. Have you guys heard about this

do any cute toons want to furiously make out

“Smooching” to me is such a useful term because it’s exactly what I want: funny kissing. I’m not a very physically affectionate person but I do like to express my love for others. I also like to be dramatic and forward and a little bit mocking. The Roger Rabbit style smooch is perfect for ALL that.

I love when a character is reduced to an unrecognizable pile of goop because they’re covered head to toe in thick icing or marshmallow fluff or some equivalent, but you can still tell who it is from context clues and vague shapes. Yes that’s hard to balance but I refuse to compromise

Had a dream last night from Smacky’s perspective where I was nude and getting a spa treatment. Hours of the gentle euphoria of someone brushing the fur at the base of my tail. And you’re gonna make me wake up in a flesh body again??? No go back I was so close to both climax and also escaping Samsara

I wish I felt physically desired, just a little. I need the cute fursuiter to talk about pulling me away for some private time. I need the cute toon to jump into my arms and call me handsome. I want to feel cute, god dammit

I need udders

Sometimes I think about how I was on track to be a REALLY kink-forward person until a dude crossed a lot of my boundaries and closed me off for years. I think it made me wiser overall and I’m tapping into the energy again, but it was like a burning of the Library of Alexandria for duck crossdressing

My computer is a warzone and nowhere is safe

*reading Bottoming for Dummies* "It's important to be able to release control and let yourself not be in charge!" "That's terrible advice. This isn't my book." *picks up The Art of War*

Thinking about someone wrapping one arm across my shoulders to pin me to their chest while the other reaches into my underwear to knead my null spot. Snout right next to my ear so they call me silly and laugh at me wearing undies specifically for this… feeling small and sexy and knee-wobbly…

null spot t-shirt idea

I really like my brain spitting in the face of God’s design by getting 90% there with a sex drive and hormones but as soon as the act of repopulation comes in, it goes “sex to me is having a sassy momma cow drop her udders on top of me like a bag of cement and then I wiggle around a whole bunch”

Uh yeah I'm into BDSM (*boink* *donk* *splat* *mmmmMMMMUAH*)

Dude it sucks I’m saddled with a corporeal form with physical limitations. I should be a pooltoy or a computer virus or a Freddy Kruger dream entity with nothing but time, energy, a smooth erogenous zone, and the ability to bypass any measure that would keep me out. That would be a good idea

Got a message from a guy on Discord saying "I love your art" to which I explained I'm not an artist and every rendition of my characters was done by someone else. Two years later (yesterday) they responded with "i see" and then linked me to porn of their fursona. Good talk

OK that's it. I'm getting hornier

I wish I was even 1% more kinky IRL so I could justify how Out There my blushy fantasies are. In roleplay I’m like “what if our fursonas were zip tied together & thrown into a cement mixer full of pudding” an in reality hanging out with me is “would you like to watch this mildly funny cooking video”

Homer leaning back in his chair as the billboard for clown college knocks all his other thoughts out of the way except I’m daydreaming and the billboard says “You Like Being A Girl, Huh”

I had a dream that I got to wear an incredibly sexy skunk girl costume that fit me perfectly and felt like a second skin and it was euphoric until my brain said “now you’re also hanging out with the cast of Family Guy”

My pie throwing panel at NFC went pretty well! Not all the jokes landed how I wanted but it was nice to give the lecture again. And then came the part where the demo started and I once again realized almost every attendee is from the WAM groups and I’ve once again inadvertently hosted a kink meetup

I have a lot of characters I have crushes on. Cute, innocent thoughts that make my heart flutter and I smile at the idea of their friendship. Slappy Squirrel is more than that. These are verbs I'm too embarrassed to utter. That last repost is an attempt on my life and brother, I'm taking the hit

Slappy 🧨

Yes the kink session will last somewhere between 45 minutes and two hours, but yes I am going to describe your scenario with overwhelming peril and permanence like it’s an ending of Look Outside

Do any cute toons want to kiss and rub our null spots together Please 🥺

I wish I liked flattening in a kinky sense more because “two toons being pressed together like Velcro as a proxy for sex” is so funny. Alas, I merely want to be squished. Still sit on me but let me keep my third dimension, thank you

*in the middle of giving you a wedgie that cartoonishly wraps around your arms and legs in a way that could be mistaken for amateur shibari* gosh you’re so cute

Really glad people latch on to the nonsense I say here. It makes me warm and fuzzy knowing other folks think cartoon violence can be cute/romantic/sexy in the right contexts. Or maybe you just want to study me in a lab! That's OK too, I guess. But you're missing out. Getting hit by a piano rules

In case anyone is wondering, I daydreamed about one toon dropping a cinderblock on the face of another in a moment of intimacy and blushed so hard I lost my grasp on human speech for six seconds

FF14’s Valentine’s event quest this year is literally about malfunctioning robots running amuck in a cake factory and I cannot stress how this is good news for a special little freak named Duino Duck

He is so handsome. God. He’s perfect. Ricket nailed this. I love Smacky so much. He’s so handsome I think I’m gonna throw up