Paulie Gualtieri Has Opinions
@pauliesopinions.bsky.social
📤 1378
📥 0
📝 71
You hear what I said, Ton'?
Best hair in the business for years, but still no endorsement deal from Just for Men. Pricks.
about 14 hours ago
2
39
3
Yeah Ton', it's me. The shutdown's over, just like you wanted. Tim Kaine can have his dog back.
5 days ago
0
58
5
Yeah Ton', it's me. DĂck Cheney? Taken care of.
13 days ago
2
144
33
Yeah Ton', it's done. Napoleon's short—on jewels, that is. Heheh.
28 days ago
2
125
22
Yeah Ton', it's me. The Middle East? All taken care of.
about 1 month ago
2
55
7
Tell your mother my linguine's gonna cost her double from now on, on account of the pasta tariff. Heheh.
about 1 month ago
2
63
7
I seen a few hits in my day, and this one? Total inside job.
2 months ago
7
88
11
Yeah Ton', it's me. That thing with Rudy? Taken care of.
3 months ago
2
152
16
Real men don't fućk 14 year-olds. They fućk your mother. Heheh.
4 months ago
0
63
7
It don't take a genius to know why Trump ain't releasin' the Epstein files. He's in 'em. Big time.
4 months ago
0
37
5
Italians invented the Caesar Salad on July 4th, ain't nobody more patriotic than us.
5 months ago
0
54
8
I prob'ly got some kids out there I don't know about, so here's a pic of your old man for Father's Day. Heheh.
5 months ago
0
70
8
It must be Flag Day, cuz I'm at full mast. Heheheh.
5 months ago
2
68
4
Yeah Ton', it's me. Tehran? Taken care of.
5 months ago
2
32
2
Yeah Ton', it's me. That Beach Boy you don't like? Taken care of. Brian Wilson, you said.
5 months ago
2
38
0
Yeah Ton', it's me. Elon and the big guy are breakin' up during Pride Month, just like you wanted.
5 months ago
0
108
33
D&D? Sure, kid — I give your mother the D, and then I give your sister the D. Heheh.
6 months ago
1
27
3
Yeah Ton', it's me. Let's just say the Mexican Navy won't be comin' back.
6 months ago
1
93
12
I don't give a fuck where the onion man lays his wood. Quit talkin' about it. Pricks.
6 months ago
1
39
1
Yeah Ton', it's me. Tatum faked the injury, just like we told him.
6 months ago
0
26
0
Mother's Day? Sure, kid — there's room in here for your mother, too.
6 months ago
0
35
2
I'm not gonna be no Pope if I can't bring my broads with me. Tell the cardinals to get back in there and try again.
6 months ago
0
14
2
Yeah Ton', it's me. That gorilla? Taken care of. Tell the 99 other pricks to go home.
7 months ago
1
57
11
Yeah Ton', it's me. We got the word out, nobody's draftin' Shedeur until his old man pays his debts, like you said.
7 months ago
1
39
2
Yeah, I took the cash from Kristi Noem. It was payment for services rendered — let's just say I'm the secretary of her interior. Heheh.
7 months ago
0
78
10
Yeah Ton', it's me. Our friend in the Vatican? Mossad finally got him.
7 months ago
1
39
8
Yeah Ton', it's me. Rory missed, just like you wanted.
7 months ago
1
46
5
Yeah Ton, it's me. Our friend in the big chair caved on the tariffs, just like you wanted.
7 months ago
0
97
19
I'm hopin' for a recession. Because who gives a fuck.
7 months ago
1
60
12
Yeah Ton', it's me. The market's crashing, just like you wanted.
8 months ago
1
36
6
Torpedo bat? Sure kid, I got one — in my pants. Heheh.
8 months ago
1
33
3
I like that AOC broad. Real smart, big ass, got a little fight in her. I'd turn the knob for her. Heheh.
8 months ago
1
7
0
The Ides of March? Sure, kid — I'd plow your mother and I'd plow your sister. That's two I'ds. Heheh.
8 months ago
0
37
1
I wake up with the sun, Ton'. It don't matter what the feds say the time is.
8 months ago
1
48
6
Yeah Ton', it's me. I dumped the bodies on Long Island and burned 'em. Burned a lot of other shit too. Heheh.
8 months ago
1
29
4
Sure kid, it's Fat Tuesday — or as your mother calls it, Tuesday. Heheh.
9 months ago
0
56
8
You can't trust no Russians. I got frostbite on my dick to prove it.
9 months ago
2
38
4
That shĂt with Gene Hackman? A word to the wise — remember Pearl Harbor.
9 months ago
1
31
0
Yeah Ton', it's me. Our friend in the Vatican is on the way out. Might have to send our laundry elsewhere.
9 months ago
0
45
3
Yeah Ton', it's me. Wemby's not gonna be a problem no more.
9 months ago
3
37
3
Presidents' Day? Sure kid, I'm givin' your mother a lot of presidents today — mostly Washingtons. Heheheh.
9 months ago
1
40
8
Yeah Ton', it's me. Akash Bobba, Edward Coristine, Luke Farritor, Gautier Cole Killian, Gavin Kliger, and Ethan Shaotran.
10 months ago
1
63
16
Yeah Ton', it's me. Luka's a Laker, just like you wanted.
10 months ago
1
61
10
DeepSeek? Sure, kid — that's what I do to your mother every other Tuesday. Heheh.
10 months ago
1
66
12
Yeah Ton', it's me. I'm headin' to the safehouse until this JFK shit blows over again.
10 months ago
0
33
5
Yeah Ton', it's me. TikTok? Not gonna be a problem no more.
10 months ago
0
38
9
I heard this kid's called The Rizzler now. Let's just say they ain't gonna be doin' no paternity tests on him. Heheh.
10 months ago
2
13
0
Send that tall broad Jane Lynch some flowers on account of her gettin' widowed today.
10 months ago
0
36
1
Farewell Address? Sure, kid—it's the address I gave your mother when I didn't want to see her no more. Heheh.
10 months ago
0
14
1
Yeah Ton', it's me. Sam Darnold's playin' just like we asked. Consider his debt settled.
10 months ago
0
28
4
Load more
feeds!
log in