To be fair, it is also possible I do not know enough about “how things are done” to make a proper assessment of whether the information I need to learn this code base really is there or not. Maybe there is t supposed to be anything but random comments in code and no one is supposed to be helping me

Also, I am too quickly approaching 47 which is way too close to 50 for me to be “where I am” in life currently. So many freaking worries and shortcomings and missed marks. But only the plus side - at least I have no choice but to keep pushing forward? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Between lack of clear goals and no documentation of the existing code base I’m really starting to feel like this transition to doing development work in my company is less likely to be possible. It’s a bit overwhelming, especially while trying to balance it and my existing role at the same time.

Three good things that happened today. 1. I remembered Cyberpunk Phantom Liberty existed and I didn't own it. 2. It turns out it was on sale. 3. It supposedly will run on my mac semi well now that I have the m4.

Rather than a lonely feeling night at home alone I have taken myself out for sushi. Someone be proud of me? LOL 😂

I was informed this weekend I need to redo and actually pay attention to my LinkedIn and I am afraid they are right :/ ugh.

I'm so tired of not being able to be who I feel like I am and wasting so much of my life having tried to be something I definitely was not thereby losing so much fucking valuable time to try and become.

Decided to hurt myself tonight...watching Edgerunners again.

Listening to the Edgerunners soundtrack really has me wanting to stay up after my flight tonight and watch an episode or 8 ;)

Really feeling the desire again to train Muy Thai. Hopefully someday (soonish lol) I will be in shape enough to do that.

5 hours and I’ll be done with work until next Friday. 24 hours and I’ll be heading towards my amazing, adorable, sweet, smart, and very sexy partner! The levels of excitement and relief I’m feeling right now could never be overstated.

I just created my first branch on a repo with multiple contributors while I work in an easy ansible task as part of the possible shift to me doing dev work. I was also told a new desk has been ordered for the dev area for me to be able to move over there.

Even I feel like this doesn't make sense, but for the first time in a very long time I am completely non verbal tonight from being overwhelmed with stuff. I feel like I can't even make myself physically speak and that's just a confusing feeling.

Got my first “tasks” from the dev people today. Kinda generic “look at these things” with no real direction lol.

Made the mistake of looking at the average salary for an entry level python developer in my city. That would be life changing…almost double my salary.

Boss just said I responded rudely because he interrupted me while I was asking a question for a situation he inserted himself into and I called him out on it. Yeah…that tracks.

Working on the free python certification that work wants me to get from the park today. After the rain the temperature is nice, as is the breeze.

Corner shelf for my bathroom assembled and done. First time using that glue…it’s pretty fucking amazing.

Well that's good news. I was getting ready to unplug my node that was down so I could work on it at work tomorrow but decided to power it on to see what it was doing b/c it stopped working 7 months ago (whoops, lost track of time). It just powered on, booted up, joined the cluster and says it's good

And it's up and running.

Sounds like I am going to have to spin up not one, but two gitlab servers at home now. Since I'm trying to get back into coding it would likely be a good idea to stand one up again but my son has finally started the big push to switch to godot and will need his own gitlab server. I guess that /1

I need a quick sanity check if y’all don’t mind because surely I am not the only one who had or remembers these CDs. Back in the day there was at least one or two rap collab CDs that were done by both the Bloods and the Crips, right?

Don’t worry, that’s just my support “momentary spiral into thinking about all my failures in life”

playing around with the pomodoro technique today to see if it is useful for me...not sure it meshes well with my brain being how it is lol

Didn't spend as much time on the Python cert thing today as I wanted but I knocked out 37 of the 521 sections LOL.

So there is a non-zero, actually possible chance I might either migrate to being a developer (depending on my dedication to making it happen) or taking on development work along with my current duties but with a pay raise in either case...supposedly.

Why am I always the one that is expected to be OK no matter what? It’s stressful as fuck when you’re always expected to be OK.

After spending most of the night crying, I think I'm going to try sleeping lol

My partner and my metamours are ridiculously hot. That is all.

It is difficult to feel like you belong when you are almost never included

One million times this. If you see toys as competition then you are approaching this whole thing incorrectly. Ijs.

Do I know anyone who could give a suggestion on a good electric head shaver? Mine has died finally and I need something else. The one that seems most suggested is outside my price range - looking at between $50 and 80 if possible.

Really wish I lived closer to NC right now :( or had the money to travel more. :/

yet another example of why I hate it here. I hate FB and don't use it much but decided to try to join an AL poly group. Their only screening questions were "are you over 18" and "why do you want to join." I guess the answer of "I am hoping to find other poly people local to me because it feels /1

The end results. Not as much color shift as I’d hoped but still cute.

I let the inside thoughts win today and I am currently printing a semi large articulated bat but in my twinkling semi translucent “fire” filament.

I won’t say poverty is our greatest enemy because it’s not an enemy. It is a tool. I will say poverty is one of the strongest weapons that the shitty people who run things has the ability to utilize and perpetuate.

Look…if you ain’t on TikTok that’s cool but like you should go find out what the national parks out here doing. I’m wit it tho fr. Damn.

Interesting fact here…but I feel like orgasms are better than toast so it tracks.

I had a very nice time on the @1password.bsky.social podcast, and the episode is out now... youtu.be/wd74Pnwd-50?... ...we discuss some outrageous stories, but in spite of the fact that today is April 1st, I assure you they're all true! 👍😁👍 Thanks for having me on!

I just need to acknowledge how strange it feels to send a text that says “I have a meeting with the FBI today and I don’t know how long it’s going to be” It’s nothing bad, it’s just work related for anyone who might need clarification

Tired of feeling like I don't matter.

If you are freaking out and need help doing this, TELL BLUESKY. One of us will help you! DO IT!

Reminding myself how and where I grew up and under what conditions I lived in this morning but it’s a little difficult as I stand in front of the mirror with my unicorn boxers on 😂😂😂

I love when I pet an animal and the owner literally stops moving and has the most astonished look on their face and says “Oh my god…they usually hate strangers.”

“The mortal world…it had moved on without me, as if I had never existed. A whisper of a miserable life—gone, unremembered by anyone whom I’d known or cared for.” Never read something that captured how I feel my death will impact things so well before lol.

My view today while I sit with my e-reading finally making progress on one of the books I’m reading right now. It’s pretty windy today but I love the wind. I can close my eyes and just feel it and it’s the closest thing to a hug I seem to get these days lol

I’m at 10,000 steps for the day. I think I’m done lol.

When you 3d print the accessories for the EDM show you are going to.