god whys it take so long to get into a shelter wtf i hate being homeless

the reason homura stops wearing her glasses is bc she's relived the past so much and hindsight is 20/20

the appointment for my imminent temporal displacement has been scheduled for yesterday

old-timey snake-oil salesman named jiggulfizzicks timtamslamb

i forgot to mention but im homeless now like this time it's gonna be for a while

not only are those vinted ads annoying their lore isn't even internally consistent. like does the cash register sound come from the items being sold or the items being bought? cmon people

so like someone has to do it tomorrow right like it's not gonna happen on its own

there's a town in my state called winsted and it's really rural and some guy was saying that it was the incest capital of connecticut and said "yeah that's why they call it wincest" and i was like uh yeah bud i don't think that's what the term means

i need everyone to realize that the bluesky devs can be bullied into submission really easily if enough people do it

sometimes i forget im into guys but im in the hospital rn and this fellow patient is cute af and i feel a visceral need to tear him to shreds with my nails in a sexual manner

it's absolutely insane to me how i know people who have done ayahuasca but then will learn they need a tooth pulled and go "gee willikers i sure do hope i don't say racial slurs on laughing gas" like what do you think nitrous oxide is the fuck

gals just don't say "oh, phooey!" when they're frustrated anymore

has anyone actually seen rfk jr blink? like if you were hooked up to a lie detector with 100% accuracy and had to testify truthfully that you've seen him blink or else you'd get killed, would you survive?

everyone i just learned that im almost two inches shorter than ive been in years idk how it happened but let's keep this shit goin

i think every single cop should willingly throw themselves into an active meat grinder actually

fun fact: if you killed every single fascist, wife-beater, and pedophile in the world, nobody would be able to charge you with anything because all the cops would already be dead

when did i even make this

guys i need some advice my friend just age regressed so much he's entered a previous karmic cycle and now he's stuck as an esfahan moufflon what do i do. i dont know what moufflon eat and im worried he doesnt have enough space to roam

god i always forget what a lightweight i am that sake last night was pretty tame and still i woke up slightly hungover

i swear that every time i draw this fucker they get hotter fuckin. didn't mean to make him a dilf all those years back yet almost immediately it became inevitable and im for it personally ross fischer

good news for cannibals with alpha gal syndrome

did i tell yall that last week i blacked out, woke up covered in dirt in the woods, barefoot, and when i got back home i found hella photos on my phone including a video i took while crouched like a cat trying to talk to this guy who i also took this creepy picture of

お酒

watchin the backrooms in a dying mall hits different

it took me FUCKIN FOREVER but here's me finally postin some art héloïse

what if monitor *only* meant the type of lizard like hall monitors, ankle monitors, computer monitors, baby monitors... they'd all be lizards yo

a little over a year ago i briefly picked up cigarette smoking bc a gal i hooked up with was tryna quit so to further incentivize her to do so, anytime i saw her light up i would snag it and take a few draws so she wouldn't be as likely to smoke well uh now im smokin again i guess

when i die i want them to say i had a man and a woman in every corner of the globe

update: im just now realizing that this particular show is yet another case of "ive seen this before and it became collateral to repressed memories" lmao

i love when i finally get around to watching something that's a huge cultural touchstone for the first time and suddenly i understand every reference to it that id previously missed. like im watchin samurai champloo finally and every ten seconds im like "hey wait a minute"

no no he raises a good point, what *does* a sunflower smell like anyways?

they need to make empathy and media literacy into ingestible forms so i can just go around injecting assholes with Sauce That Makes You Not Evil

ended up doing fuckall and then just drifting in and out of sleep on the couch all day. i miss my dad

truncated

tadc spoiler don't look if you're not caught up yet anyways jax is clearly meant to be transfemme but considering the fact that they did the whole "placement of the bow" thing i wonder if ribbit is supposed to be read as transmasc and it was just implied because exploring that would take too long

"sorry, no can-do, kiddo," i say with a chuckle as i push my nephew's brand new car down a flight of stairs, tousling his hair aggressively with a hand covered in ketchup and dead ants

hey can somebody help me a tiny green skeleton just crawled out of a storm drain and chained me to a bike rack before walking away. i don't need help getting out or anything i was just wondering if anyone could bring me like a panini or something

what a load of squinge

i had a really bizarre psychotic episode last night

why doesn't bluesky let me download video attachments on mobile

imagine someone sounding with a glow stick and then cracking their dick

lake mungo but it's just a really enthusiastic geologist talking about the formation of the lake and nothing happens

i wish i could install content filters in my eyes and ears like sorry but i don't want to see your infected foot wound greg

i finally figured out how to do the thing where you shake the cigarette pack and pull a single cigarette out with your teeth

guy whose elite ball knowledge is just knowing a lot about testicles

there's something really funny about miku's new art being really cute and then her new voicebank being a kazoo

kon'nichiwa! shinshia desu. nihongo o benkyō shiteimasu. ...sugoku yukkuri to :')

remember: if you give a man a fish, he's probably going to look at you weird and say "what the hell am i supposed to do with this?"

hey guys gonna be swingin out by ong's hat later lmk if you need me to pick you up anything while im there