Note To Self: a Bush cover band called “Merkin”

This is unbearably funny

Nards

romance is at once this incredibly singular and incredibly banal experience. i imagine having a child is somewhat similar

"I bet you’re one of those people who thought that once the millennium started, you’d never have to hear 'River of Dreams' again. I used to feel that way until I became a dentist. Now, I live every day like it’s 1993."

When Twitter was young, you’d see a post by @TheFatBoys and not realize it was actually 80s rap group the Fat Boys. In same time-frame of Threads, you see a post by @CharleneMom77 and will never not believe it is a bot. On BlueSky, the username is a pun so slight you nearly missed it, @Teal_Leoni

You can take the boy out of Chicago, etc

god i hope john smoltz is in the epstein files

This may be the first time in my baseball fandom that the four teams I most wished would make the CSes made it (from the playoff pool). Now let's go Brewers and Mariners!

The two screen experience in its intended form: RASPUTIN, THE MAD MONK and playoff baseball

I love spooky season because it gives me an excuse to watch horror movies day and night. I hate spooky season because many of the franchises I choose to watch are mostly terrible. I'm sure this skeet has nothing to do with the fact that I'm currently watching Friday the 13th Part VII.

Baseball is perfect. The End.

maccagodzilla

Antifa, like Steely Dan, is not really a group.

Seriously, Beavis is Butthead's son.

Since Vince is no longer on Bluesky to say it: three perverts.

I think my daughter is being taught by a jihadist

Anthony Perkins gives off major Rivers Cuomo vibes in PSYCHO.

If Trump bites the dust, does he get into the Oscars In Memoriam for his Home Alone 2 cameo?

With all the SNL shakeups, if you see that James Austin Johnson has been let go, know that we are entering a DAVE situation. Be on the lookout for Trump making good sandwiches and referencing 100 gecs.

20 years after Hurricane Katrina, George Bush still doesn’t care about black people, but now neither does Kanye West. Mike Myers is still observing it all, befuddled.

The #1 reason I want a new job is not the salary, the stress relief, or the boost of self-esteem. It's the break I'll get from having to log in to the cursed hellscape that is LinkedIn.

Think what the fiery depths of hell will do for his tan though

A guy typed “The 1st time I saw ‘The Hats’…” when commenting on seeing “Men Without Hats” in concert. - Me explaining to my cellmate what I’m in for.

Singing "trans sharia" to the tune of "My Sharona"

Tricky needle to thread for Mamdani moving forward. He has vowed to provide more resources and better treatment to mentally unwell New Yorkers, but now he has to campaign *against* Eric Adams and Curtis Sliwa.

Just try to roast this perfect list.

What actor’s expression in a movie will stay with you for the rest of your life?

Call your representatives and tell them to go fuck themselves.

“This is not constitutional!” I cry as the temu-bought katana enters my belly

(Fred Schneider voice) would you know my name if i saw you in HEAVEN

Every endorsement of Andrew Cuomo legit boils down to the endorser strongly implying: “I am a single issue voter, and that issue is: Gotta be an old Italian guy.”

glad to finally see people demanding No More (Tom) King Comics

do not fuck with youth pastor energy. we will take your hackneyed metaphor and actually do something with it

RIP to a real one youtu.be/8TcFmAebIxQ?...

you don't see husbands realizing they forgot their anniversary and searching for a gift and seeing the necklace their wife wanted in a window for $50 and pulling out an empty wallet and moths flying out and then seeing a poster that says "BOXING MATCH FIRST PRIZE $50" and saying "hmmm" much anymore

Some of yall can’t handle 2 high agency males going at it and it really shows

groimes can yoo uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh come pick me up from uhh geetmo

This is like drake and kendrick lamar but they’re both bubba sparxxx

We already have a Joe Rogan of the left

Never forget