my heating pad is an axolotl and this looks very sad

doordash has ruined restaurants and i will not elaborate

💫💞pride🌈🫶 🫪scoliosis awareness month🩻 a month for everyone who isn’t straight!!

i looked up my high school and the college readiness rating is 4.9 OUT OF 100 this piece of paper on my wall is a miracle, actually

i saw a lizard in my house and by the time i got a bowl to catch it it was gone so now im creeping around my own home because im scared of stepping on it😵‍💫

i love my family and my friends and the banana muffins i made this morning!! i love my life!!!

The amount of tea I drink per day is between me and the spoon on the edge of the sink I’m going to need again in like 3 hours

i misplaced a ring that belonged to my grandma SOMEWHERE IN MY HOUSE after we moved here (i have a photo of it in this house which is helpful and also infuriating) but i was able to find the exact ring on ebay so now i can at least wear a duplicate of it 🥲

i used to work at an orthopedic surgery office and one time a patient made me cry so after his appointment the surgeon walked him to my desk and made him apologize 😌

and yes i do like the silly little hockey romance show!! i like having fun and watching attractive people play hockey idc!!

if you ask me my favorite book genre and i say anything but romance pls ignore me because i am in a PHASE

it’s a good omen for the day when i’ve already made my husband laugh so hard a drink came out of his nose by 11 am

the new google icons feel like a personal attack

Store that donates all profit to charity is a field that exists 👋

The Crash Course Coin is here. Support nonprofit educational media that reaches millions of learners every year. ONLY AVAILABLE FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS! crashcoursecoin.com?utm_campaign

this is what it feels like when i log into youtube in front of people and im john green

GAME NIGHT AT MY HOUSE TONIGHT🗣️

changing my iphone lock screen makes me feel a million years old why is it complicated now?? ENOUGH!

The Project for Awesome 2026 grant recipients are in!🥳 We came together to watch, donate, and vote, which raised $4,216,069.19 for charities! Thank you for joining us again this year! #P4A2026

WARNING: do NOT tell hank you don’t like yellow www.humanswithhank.com

it’s always somethin with this guy

are all of my friends attractive because they’re my friends, or am i only friends with attractive people? much to think about!!

never become one of my favorite youtubers because you will always be outranked by dan and phil and there’s literally nothing you could do to change it

leaving my future self a treat to open my laptop to

i would go through cosmetology school all over again simply for the half price products thank you to oklahoma for letting me get my license for free while i was in high school!! you did ONE good thing!!

i have to help figure out what to have for dinner for the rest of my life??? and if we ever have a child there will be a THIRD OPINION TO CONSIDER??

NEEDED THIS!!!! youtu.be/-rkjE0xc730?...

every medical/public health creator i follow: you don’t need to panic about hantavirus every news creator i follow: 🚨PANIC OVER HANTAVIRUS!! FOLLOW ME FOR UPDATES!!🚨

good things are still possible!!!!

went to the dentist and all i got was “everything looks normal” tell me im your favorite patient and have a beauty queen smile or this is pointless!!

met gala implies the existence of stranger gala

May showers can bring flowers, too🚿 (specifically the Bloom Shampoo Bar) good.store/products/blo...

i zoomed in on my face in what i thought was a cute family photo and ONE of my eyes is closed ONE?!!!

a few years ago my husband ordered “tea” at a restaurant in boston and they brought out a tea pot and tea bag assortment to him in 90 degree weather on an outdoor patio and we laugh about it regularly

WE FINALLY HAVE A COUCH AFTER 4 WEEKS WITHOUT ONE!!

if i see one more “just get in your car and drive the opposite direction” comment on a video about tornado shelters im going to scream

started the week by throwing away my dead dog’s cancer medicines and crying so that’s a good sign

i just heard the term “beach ball size hail” so… that’s good

i do a lot of “mmm” or “yeah” or *head nod* in conversation while the other person is talking and some people REALLY HATE THAT

people are making one direction imagines about niall being invited to harry’s wedding we are an unbelievable amount of BACK!!!

it’s just a little too convenient that john can’t visualize things in his head and hank doesn’t have an internal dialogue one of them is lying idc

my job stops me from posting so many mean replies everyone say thank you to my clients!!

i don’t want to be dramatic (yes i do) but this changed my life youtu.be/g4R9UCu4gvg?...

every time someone says “oh i bet she’s bossy/mean/prissy” about my poodle i have to say “no but her owner is.” it’s mandatory at this point.

people i will never forgive: 1. ticketmaster 2. people who buy overpriced tickets instead of letting them sit there 3. people who buy overpriced tickets and then try to SELL THEM FOR PROFIT

we gotta stop moving social media platforms bc we lost context so people think i’m being mean to hank (i am but it’s allowed)

“it’s not a kink… sometimes i just like to be left alone for a while” felt that

being a type A person in a mental health crisis is so goofy because i was fully convinced that the new week + cleaning my floors would cure me

dream role: staged door dasher to the white house who gets access to the press and could say literally anything in that moment lives would be ruined

you can go into a popular 12 year old movie spoiler free if you stay confused enough