watching asmr wax cracking while eating a chocolate dipped ice cream was the weirdest 4D experience of my life

why is it always “you did your IRA contribution wrong” and “have you filled out that form?” but never “you are so smart and beautiful” 😔

new favorite website www.molacult2.com

watching the texas primary results counts as cardio

Shop at good.store, where 0% of profit goes to *checks notes* High Net Worth Individuals

i understand the temptation to laugh at trump’s neck rash but sometimes really cool and funny hot people get rashes… maybe even someone you know…

asking a man a question about my retirement accounts felt exactly like asking my dad for help with math homework like you’re gonna answer my questions but you’re also gonna make me sad

the new season of bridgerton is so important to me

“are you really gonna get your dog a pom pom haircut?” WELL YES!!

“it’s always good to be 5’1” me, listening:

peeling and eating a small roasted sweet potato as if it’s a banana is so important to me

i love leaving a positive review with someone’s supervisor!! FREE SEROTONIN!!

“the prediction markets” you mean a twitter poll?

WELL!!!

tree pollen wants me dead!!!

If you spent 2 weeks watching the Olympics and now you’re thinking about picking up a new hobby, I have a suggestion: hating tuberculosis!

i just ordered a perfume sample based on a review that said “it smells like the ground” if you meet me and i smell like the ground, it’s on purpose. i’m in a weird perfume phase.

i need the marketing department for Big Grape to look me in the eyes and tell me these taste like cotton candy

dry skin crucifixion chapped lips

“how dare you cheer for athletes from your country” is such a boring take

i’m sure i’m someone’s least favorite coworker and that makes me want to go into hiding

b: *in physical therapy for back pain* also b: “i just deadlifted 500 pounds” i’m reporting him to his physical therapist 💫

FACE VALUE TICKETS TO A SOLD OUT SHOW BABYYY GOOD THINGS ARE STILL POSSIBLE!!

◀️👁️🟤👁️▶️

“why don’t women want to be stay at home moms anymore? it seems like a great life!!” if you want to be a stay at home dad, just say that.

The 2026 P4A Tiltify is now CLOSED, with a final donation amount of $4,216,082.19! Thank you to everyone who participated this year! #P4A2026

during P4A (which i run socials for) my parents AND my grandparents were staying with me in my house i will be recovering from this all week

If you watched the P4A livestream, you’ll know that it’s *actually* 2027. Here in 2027, we only buy great stuff that makes the world better.

LAST CALL: Digital nerdfighter art submissions, video voting, AND the Tiltify campaign close TOMORROW, 2/18, AT NOON EST! #P4A2026

peter attia is a “longevity expert” but he’s like 50 that feels a bit… premature

PSA: i made this bowl AND this chocolate syrup

It's The End Of The Project For Awesome!! YOu HaVE To JoIN US!!! www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYLH...

a moment in p4a history #p4a2026

THIS is pearkatory he lives there

FIRST BABY BORN AT MCOE!!!!

he’s here #p4a2026

jarrod is so… wet😔

dog o’clock!! #P4A2026

immediately loving gary

why am i being rage baited in front of an audience rn

banana loca llc owes me partial ownership

my banana loca legacy has expanded i am sorry once again

my nervous system can’t tell the difference between being chased by a bear and waiting for the p4a livestream to start

watching Ask Hank Anything the way god intended my home is so peaceful

being an independent contractor and trying to access a client’s google drive folders LET ME IN