i don’t want to be dramatic (yes i do) but this changed my life youtu.be/g4R9UCu4gvg?...

every time someone says “oh i bet she’s bossy/mean/prissy” about my poodle i have to say “no but her owner is.” it’s mandatory at this point.

people i will never forgive: 1. ticketmaster 2. people who buy overpriced tickets instead of letting them sit there 3. people who buy overpriced tickets and then try to SELL THEM FOR PROFIT

we gotta stop moving social media platforms bc we lost context so people think i’m being mean to hank (i am but it’s allowed)

“it’s not a kink… sometimes i just like to be left alone for a while” felt that

being a type A person in a mental health crisis is so goofy because i was fully convinced that the new week + cleaning my floors would cure me

dream role: staged door dasher to the white house who gets access to the press and could say literally anything in that moment lives would be ruined

you can go into a popular 12 year old movie spoiler free if you stay confused enough

okay to be fair… they talked about gravity a LOT

about to watch interstellar for the first time i’ve accidentally been lying about seeing this movie because i thought it was gravity this whole time💫

MORE. SNACK. PLATES. FOR. DINNER!!! i love not cooking!! i love eating a little of this and a little of that!

My space-themed Awesome Socks have been getting SO MUCH use 🚀🌙

IT’S MOON DAY!!!

people who weren’t active on twitter will never know my lore and maybe that’s for the best i’ve always been really cool and normal online

twitter 2020-2022 was such a good time and no new social media will ever replicate the vibe unfortunately

i forget that there are people who are normal and weren’t taught that catholics aren’t christians because they “worship mary”

if i was a famous person i would hate to have me as a fan bc outfunnying people in their own comment section is my only skill

Shopping at a store that gives money to billionaires: overrated Shopping at a store that gives no money to billionaires: underrated Awesome Socks: accurately rated😌

My vision board looks oddly similar tbh.

my nervous system thinks I’M going to the moon today

Hollywood, Ending is my first novel for adults (and my first novel of any kind in nine years). I am so excited for you to read it. Writing it reminded me that writing can be joyful and help me to visit rooms in my mind I just can't get to any other way. apnews.com/article/john...

“you can’t time the market!” “don’t try to time the market!” okay maybe YOU can’t but what if i’m different

i listed our couch on marketplace today bc our new one gets delivered Tuesday and i was worried that no one would want it since Posie (our puppy) had chewed on one of the cushions i had 20+ messages and it was gone from my house within 30 minutes!!

they put sign of the times in project hail mary for me specifically

“lazy susan” mind you, she’s doing all the work

do i want a masters degree OR did being the first person in my family to get a bachelors make me addicted to the attention

should i get an mba? everyone cast your vote!!

buying a large living room rug is a terrifying activity

“Jurassic Park 2: Lost in New York”

having a constant conversation with your friends via text is fun until they send you a photo of their toenail that fell off

if you’re famous do you pay someone to develop your fancy signature or is that something that happens to you naturally

My extra mug of Keats & Co is in observation of World TB Day and definitely not something I do every day… My extra drink yesterday was for World TB Day Eve.

FRANCESCA AND MICHAELA NEXT SEASON OF BRIDGERTON I PRAYED FOR DAYS LIKE THIS!!

still thinking about project hail mary btw

i’m watching project hail mary in 3 hours and i am so nervous bc this is very important to me!!

when i speak poorly about oklahoma that NEVER includes braums!!

anne hathaway is so hot i am very scared of her

one time my dental hygienist told me she was going to DC on vacation and i proceeded to take a DC metro card out of my wallet and say “take this!! there’s still $5 left on it!” and this interaction haunts me i just do stuff sometimes

i don’t understand tall people like why do you need all that extra

working in my hometown coffee shop because a family member is having surgery today and they’re playing landslide?? just shoot me next time

i’ve only hung out with/around josh from mythical once and he immediately asked if i wanted to try his elaborate bloody mary with skewered food on top he’s a delight but i do not share beverages

PIZZA BEANS

okay girl change your mind!!

adding “Project Hail Mary movie” to my calendar healed me

someone needs to tell trump about the unregulated tanning injections people are giving themselves

how do i make it known that i’m wearing a floral midi dress in a fun springtime way and not in a weird conservative fantasy way

new quirky nails just dropped also i took this photo with my mouth

people in the 90s were just kissing everyone??

in my head i know that content creators being guests on late night tv is exciting and good for them but in my heart they are WAY too cool to be doing that

this is a long-term passion btw