The police are shooting infants and dogs. I never want to hear a complaint about "Abolish the Police." ☕️💜

Police officers should not be allowed to carry guns. They don't even stop mass shooters. They have no business carrying loaded weapons in public. ☕️💜

Not-so-cozy moment: The attached subreddit purports to be left wing men. And this is why when women say "stop dating Right Wing Men," I tell them stop dating MEN. ☕️💜 www.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMa...

A 4B Magazine is in the works! ☕️💜

I believe child support is for the benefit of the child. Not to: 1. Teach men responsibility. 2. Punish men for leaving the family. Therefore, I have no problem with replacing child support with state funding for children. It's not about the men. Its about giving the child financial stability. ☕️💜

Stop shaming single mothers. You have no idea what she might have escaped from or successfully shielded her child from. ☕️💜

There is a deeply uncomfortable discussion happening in Threads right now about an influencer who terminated a pregnancy. 1. Disabled people deserve to have support and live long healthy lives. 2. A woman should be able to terminate for ANY reason. These are not mutually exclusive. ☕️💜

"60% of men who do x have been convicted of abusing their wives." A healthy response: That's incredibly unfortunate. I do x and I would never dream of hurting a woman, but I understand why women would be cautious of men doing x. An unhealthy response: Not all men who do x are abusive! ☕️💜

Qualifiers built into statements that have been ignored by "not all men" responses: "Tend to" "More likely" "Red flag" "Likely" "Sometimes" "Most" If you write a general statement regarding the behavior of men using these words, nd they ignore it and say "not all," just block. ☕️💜

Women: Hey, so statistically, men who wear red shirts are more likely to abuse us so we won't be dating them anymore. (This is a made up fact, pretend it's true) Men: Not all men wearing red shirts- Women: MORE LIKELY. MORE LIKELY! Please learn to read. ☕️💜

Men are quick to blame women for harm they suffered from other men, but if women break out the statistics and use them to navigate dating, they cry about how it is unfair to judge them before getting to know them.

Another woman's win is not my loss. ☕️💜

Some people may ask why I, a 4B woman, keep track of dating advice from other women. The answer is that I care about women. Even women who are not 4B. I know some of the women who follow this account are still dating or even married. So if my advice can reach them, I'm happy to share. ☕️💜

"I'm dating for love!" Love, boundaries, and standards do not cancel each other out. You are perfectly capable of falling in love with a man who respects you, is as affectionate as you need him to be, and is financially stable enough to be a benefit, not a liability, to your life. ☕️💜

Truer words have never been spoken. ☕️💜

I don't know who needs to hear this but the FIRST time he ruins your special day/moment or downplays it as not a big deal, it is time to leave. ☕️💜

A woman said that her current husband didn't used to celebrate birthdays and she patiently and lovingly taught him how. I told her about my father, who never came around to celebrating birthdays or holidays and mostly grouches through them after 30 years of being shown how to celebrate properly. ☕️💜

Men: Women need to choose and vet better! Women: Men who don't celebrate their own birthdays tend to not celebrate our birthdays, milestones, and accomplishments. Let's stop dating them. Men: NOT ALL MEN WHO DON'T CELEBRATE BIRTHDAYS ARE LIKE THAT! GIVE THEM A CHANCE! ☕️💜

I don't trust people who side with Emily and Richard Gilmore over Lorelei. Financial abuse is still abuse. ☕️💜

If you know that your partner is only having sex with you out of obligation, you are a rapist. They are experiencing some form of coercion that is forcing them to have sex when they do not want to. ☕️💜

Art by Wonderfae ☕️💜

Saying "be kind" to someone actively causing violence to minority communities is a form of oppression. It signals to their victims that you are more concerned with the feelings of their oppressors than their literal safety. 💜☕️

🧐If you ever feel the urge to defend the abuser in a situation, I am begging you to stop, and redirect that energy toward protecting the victims. ☕️💜

Spoilers for Euphoria! Look away, look away! The way that Cassie and Nate's marriage turned out is proof that sometimes rejection is protection. ☕️💜

They were right all along. ☕️💜

Men didn't "give" us the right to vote. We had to fight for it. ☕️💜

Every woman who raises a feminist, anti-misogynistic, anti-partiarchy child is a disruptor of patriarchy. ☕️💜

Every child-free woman is a disruptor of patriarchy. ☕️💜

Every woman who manages financial independence is a disruptor of patriarchy. ☕️💜

Every single mother who leaves and has a successful, happy life is a disruptor of the Patriarchy. ☕️💜

The wisdom of a woman on Threads. ☕️💜

"Men and women need each other!" What about gay men? What about lesbians? What about ace people? The ignorance and bigotry is baked into this statement. Heterosexuality will never be healthy until we let go of this toxic codependency dressed up as logic.☕️💜

The not-so-cozy post of the day is FUCK ICE. ☕️💜

The press had been silenced in Delaney. They were told to leave or be arrested. The protesters have all been rounded up and arrested with no cameras and no press to report upon their treatment. ☕️💜

Just another heads up, when a black person tells you that a phrase used by a person usually indicates that that person is racist, stepping in to defend the hypothetical person reveals a deep-seated need to defend white people against racism, rather than to solve or prevent it. ☕️💜

Just so everyone is aware, if you are the type of person to say, "Not everything is about race," when race is brought into the conversation, you are racist. I'm very tired of pretending that this is not the case. I've never seen a case where someone said this and was not actually racist. ☕️💜

Of you suspect infidelity, stop having sex with him. A dead bedroom beats an incurable STD. *This is for women in non-physically/sexually abusive relationships. ☕️💜

Please hire women. Hire female plumbers. Female landscapers. Female electricians. And if they don't do a good job TELL them. It's no different than hiring men for those positions, but it makes a difference because it keeps women in the market as an option. ☕️💜

A metaphor for the argument I just had. Man: Eating an apple is good for you :) Me: Yes, but most of this barrel is rotten. Man: But non-rotten apples are good for you! Me: Yes... but its probably best not to eat any of these apples, they are mostly rotten. Man: But its good for you! ☕️💜

Tw: SA discussion. Also a man is speaking.

"Don't tell him until you KNOW you can trust him." So, don't trust him until you trust him. 🤨 Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? A predator is WAITING for you to trust him. It can be a week, six months, or six years, he will only reveal you can't trust him when you finally do. ☕️💜

"My husband didn't want anyone else raising our child so I very sadly-" *holds breath* "-quit my job." Noooooo! 😭 Please stop doing this. If he suddenly demands that you quit your job, you need to quit the relationship. He is demonstrating dangerous control tactics. ☕️💜

Sad reminder that not dating men does not necessarily spare you from their violence. Sadly, women have been murdered by fathers, uncles, brothers, and random men on the street. But it does greatly reduce the risk of violence to not have a man in your home. ☕️💜

"If you don't trust men, why don't you stop dating them?" 4B women: Bet. 😏☕️💜

Some 4B women may be wondering why I don't push harder for all women to stop dating/having children. The reasons are: 1. I want them to come to that conclusion on their own. 2. If they are peer-pressured into it, they won't stick with it. 3. I don't consider bullying other women "winning." ☕️💜

"You choose the wrong men" Translation: "This could never happen to me. Because I would make better choices." It is arrogant and foolish to think so. ☕️💜

"Hey so, maybe we should stop sharing our trauma with male romantic partners because they get off on it or throw it back in our faces." "You're picking the wrong men." Any man that a woman trusted enough to share her trauma, masked well enough for her to feel safe doing so. Stop. Blaming. Women.☕️💜

A not-so-cozy post: For those new to the Café please know that we believe that female rapists deserve the same horrible rates we wish upon male rapists, no matter what gender their victims is. It is equal opportunity here. ☕️💜

Women: Violence against women is rampant worldwide. Men: Women hurt men too. Women: Did I say anything that made you believe that I support women being violent toward men? Men: ...No? Women: Then why did you bring that up? (It's deflection.) ☕️💜

"If my husband ever did that, I'd leave," may be optimistic, because leaving is difficult. BUT, "My husband would NEVER," is far more dangerous. Because would you believe someone who told you that he did? And then, would you be able to act on that information? ☕️💜