Turns out we lost Dunklewälderdunklerflüssenschattenwelt when it was renamed to “Bob” Ticket marked as resolved.

Ticket #85392959 - Security incident Due to someone setting the HPG terminal passcode to "hunter2", be advised that the Twycross relay is currently inoperable while a security review is conducted. Agent note: Huh, it comes up as ******* to me???

FROM: [email protected] TO: [email protected] Could the owner of the blue Rotunda parked in the front car park please move it? It's blocking mech access to mechbay three, and has proven too heavy for four tow vehicles so far.

So I was working the station on Northwind the other week back, and it turns out they only do that accent when there's people around.

Ticket #63873749: Please purchase me a WinRAR license. Agent notes: No.

FROM: [email protected] TO: [email protected] Could we PLEASE stop "correcting" the word "Conjurer" to "Wolverine IIC" in Clan related communications? This is the fourth Batchall I've received this week.

"We lost a planet." "We lost a WHAT?" "Yeah it responds to ping but we've got no idea where it is."

Ticket #95727573 Hi, my username is still showing up as fsteiner instead of afocht in many of the systems I use. Please update this ASAP as it is impacting my work! Agent notes: Name changes may take three to five business decades to fully propagate to all systems.

FROM: [email protected] TO: [email protected] Could the person using high power HPG transmissions to cook low flying birds please stop? While we appreciate you providing lunch for the team, sending several gigawatts of energy into an unmonitored lane is a breach of company policy.

Ticket #39309834 - Datapad localisation settings Hello! I have been WFH in Clan Jade Falcon space today and my datapad’s localisation seems to have changed. I can not type contractions any more, with any attempt being auto corrected, such as can not, will not, she is, quiaff? Please advise.

FROM: [email protected] TO: [email protected] Please note that our team building Friday drinks are NOT an excuse to slam three PPCs and get (and I quote our Australian precentor here) “fucken maggot mate!” Further inappropriate behaviour will result in HR intervention.

Ticket #39434892 - URGENT! UNSEND HPG! His Celestial Wisdom, the Chancellor has hit ‘reply all’ again and sent important troop movement data to several Davion diplomats. PLEASE UNSEND HPG URGENT URGENT URGENT! Agent notes: That’s not how HPGs work. That’s not how any of this works.

Hi. Your call is important to us. Please hold the line and your call will be answered by the next available adept. Did you know you can log a ticket via our HPG portal? Simply navigate to hpg://terra.comstar/support and fill out the form there. Hi. Your call is important to us. Please hold the….

Ticket number #42766481 - Reset software on Shadow Hawk 2Ht After winning a bet that you can run Doom on the primary control computer of a mech, the pilot is requesting a full systems restore after a negligent laser discharge in the mech bay that she swears is not related.

Honestly the worst part of this civil war isn't the Davoins and Steiners killing each other, it's trying to unmerge the company Sharepoint.

So get this. I got a cal from some Drac guy, kept ranting about giant birds and how he had to escape. Oh nah, he wasn't in a Comstar coverage area so he had to work that out himself. Honestly if you're ranting about giant birds with spears, you've got a ton of stuff you need to work out yourself.

Welcome to Comstar. For accounts, press one. For accounts, press two, for accounts, press three, for accounts, press four, for accounts…

YOUR HPG IS IMPORTANT TO US. YOU ARE NOW AT POSITION... SEVEN HUNDRED AND… EIGHTY FOUR IN THE QUEUE. PLEASE WAIT TO BE CONNECTED. www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcci...