Me and him when?

Evaluating selling all my worldly possessions for a video message from Michael Keaton? It’s more likely than you think. Who needs a car anyway 😅

Dear diary, I am currently withdrawing from a lack of Keats content. Please, please, please, deliver me this man at my workplace tomorrow so that I may continue to thrive on his glorious sustenance. Amen 🙏🏻

John Wesley liked my comment. John Wesley liked my comment. JOHN MOTHERFUCKIN WESLEY LIKED MY COMMENT. The chokehold this man had on me about 14 years ago I swear to god

I want to inhale every particle of sweat from his body. I want to drink him down like a succulent nectar. I want to consume every inch of him. Fuck. Watching Michael Keaton movies is not recommended while ovulating 😑

The way Michael Keaton bites his lip literally kills me off. I am nothing but a puddle for this man 🥵

@foxhotbox.bsky.social uncovered this clip and I don’t think I will ever get over it 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Off to the sex show tonight, oh sorry I meant Till Lindemann concert 😂 fun fact: I once drove through Tottenham blasting this out the car, safe to say my partner was not amused in the slightest 😂😂

*cackles in credit card debt* 😂😂😂

Michael Keaton: *exists* Me: *cums*

Starting a new KDrama be like: Oh ‘Twinkling Watermelon’ that sounds cute and light hearted… already bawling my eyes out before the first episode has even ended 😑😭

As per usual, the DILF of the year poll is vastly incorrect so I am officially crowning the ✨correct✨ DILF of the year: Mr Michael Keaton Douglas

You know you’re getting old when Nicholas Hoult appears on a dilf of the year vote, Jesus Christ were any of you alive when About a Boy came out 😂😂😂

I fully anticipate I’ll be the only one dressed up at work tonight but fuck it 😂

Happy Halloween 😂

I don’t even rate ultra ripped guys but season 1 was so peak. I’d risk it all for Sexyama 😂

Fuck yeah Physical Asia! I fuckin love this shit

Today’s first world problems: realising I don’t have an iron so having to heat up a saucepan instead 💀😂

Michael Keaton looking so outrageously good that I’m going to take off into another dimension goodbye farewell sayonara 🥵🥵

Love them ones when you get in the car to drive to work and have a mini panic attack that you’re late because the clock hasn’t auto changed 😂

“My hunt is over.”

Another solid year at Hinchingbrooke House for their annual horror maze. Got jumped a fair few times this year! 😂

Just the sexiest song of all time to be honest

Respectfully asking when can I make out with one (1) turtleneck daddy

Was looking at booking tickets for The Weeknd and come on man this is an actual joke, I didn’t even pay this much for 3 days camping at Reading a few years ago. Daylight fucking robbery

Mullet aside, I would like to ride

I am looking disrespectfully 👀🥵

One of my favourite emails to receive 😍

Last night I learned limoncello is not my friend 💀

Living in Luton is like: what is special about the 17th October that warrants a single, solitary firework being unleashed at 19:35pm Many happy Fridays or whatever 😂

I’m a simple girl with simple wants in life and I just want to sit on Michael Keaton’s porch in Montana and gaze up at the stars with him while listening to the greatest guitar solo of all time. Anyone know how I can make this happen? 😂

Maybe I’m just perpetually horny for Keats (spoilers, I am) but when writing smut for his characters it just flows SO easily. Trying to flesh it out with any semblance of plot and I’m stuck 😂

Starting work at 6am, a normal person might consider sleep. NAY NOT I. I do believe it the perfect time to carry on writing good sirs and sir-esses!

We know who he is. (He's Batman.)

His smile makes me swoon so hard I feel like I’m gonna burst into tears 😭 HE IS TOO CUTE I CANNOT COPE

My favourite strange German man doing more weird shit for art 😂

Goodnight to Michael Keaton’s thigh only.

Some people might say I’m severely autistic about Michael Keaton but I don’t really like using that as I think it undermines people with actual autism. Instead I prefer the term ✨fanciful✨ Now if you excuse me, I’m off to my fantasy world where I get to ride on him daily, good day! 😂

Nearly half a mill. For a semi detached. In Leagrave. This country is NOT REAL 😂😂😂

Why are certain areas of the UK still absolute dead zones for network coverage 😭 trying to operate on 4G which basically means No G. 😑

Can’t stop thinking about his neck and imagining burying my face into it as I cling onto him for dear life while he fucks me into the worktop. Thankyou for coming to my TED talk, goodnight, shalom, I have fallen and I cannot get up *FERAL CHOKING NOISES*

Started to archive my collection of Michael Keaton physical media into a spreadsheet because who doesn’t love random statistics 😂

One small child 😂❤️

Thankyou to The Midnight for bringing me home to my first ever concert venue, 18 years later. Superb evening and I almost burst into tears when Justin Klunk hit the sax. Simply euphoric ❤️

Me waiting for the postie to deliver my daily dose of Michael Keaton flavoured serotonin

The Midnight continuing to fail the ‘write one bad song’ challenge with yet another banger 🔥🔥🔥

Me: *trying to focus on work and real life activities* Keats: oh hi there Me: *forgets how to exist and perishes immediately*

Love getting woken up at 1am by an alarm company for the place I used to work at because I’m still listed as a key holder 😑😑

Sorry not sorry for the Ghost of Yotei spam at the moment, it’s just so pretty 😍