I was really enjoying this IFS book ‘No Bad Parts’ until one of somebody’s parts wanted to go to Burning Man.

I fully support the strike Friday, but as a small business in the most competitive market on earth, I will be open Friday. 😘

I tried to tell my ai assistant Claude that I was afraid I had ALS because my hand hurts and he was like “Girl you’ve been clutching your phone for two weeks.” Burned by technology.

Good Shabbos to all, and to all a good night.

The evangelical judgement of the Southern US states is so baked in even the atheists clutch their pearls.

Updated tour schedule Cambridge Feb 9-12 duos with ⬇️ @evaexquisite.bsky.social Berkeley feb 22-25 SF feb 25-28 Austin (duos e Eva again) March 19-22. One more city that trip. Nashville? Houston? Nola?

Running a February local special — it’s a seriously good deal, 900 for 90 minutes. Book & pay deposit during Jan and I’ll throw in a few fun upgrades. 🥳

& Austin March 19-22!

I am visiting the Bay Feb 22-28!

My uber driver doesn’t speak English I LOVE LA.

Almost back at LAX! Can’t wait to order lunch and an uber and then race my DoorDash enchiladas home.

I was gonna say 4 am EST is the loneliest time on earth but then I remembered my friends in London are awake 🥳. What a week!!! In every way. Heading home to my cat and an empty space in every corner. 💔. Such is life.

Sunday funday

I’m leaving Atlanta early Monday morning instead of late Tuesday afternoon & my books are closed for the month. 💋

Okay I just saw a waymo one point for Atlanta

I’m taking a mid tour day off to hang out with @stonexpitbull.bsky.social & watch South Park and order in. Hello Atlanta.

Too many cancels lately, raising deposit to 30% and potentially more on tour.

Please help my Work Wife if you can ❤️

🫶 Charlotte

Had a cancellation for tomorrow after lunch in Charlotte y’all.

My X account is temp locked booo

I love having a hotel room with two beds because then I make one of them the eating bed.

The Grateful Elderly

It feels illegal.

Is this illegal?

Another day another DR:

Entrepreneurs make the best clients.

Everyone really likes my new Substack section imagination diaries and they’re telling me in my love language 🥹, cashes of app.

Customs tomorrow I promise had to run to Mexico yesterday 🫶🤷‍♀️

OMG, when I say @dateavivaruse.bsky.social wrote a steamy follow-up to my Fantasy Series with her, I am not kidding. *I* want to book us for a duo now 😅 Her Substack releases Sunday. To read my part (and for the link to her Substack), follow my part one below: open.substack.com/pub/evaexqui...

One of the most embarrassing things about me is how deeply attracted I am to house speaker Mike Johnson. Oh lawd make it stop I hate everything he says.

Southern visit nearly full, if you’re waiting to book — don’t!

The highest & best use of remaining tour availability just happened; a sexy couple booked me. 🫠

My favorite New Englander @EvaExquisite is visiting in a few weeks & will be available to duo with me on Jan 22 & 23. 2 hour minimum!

Yearly reminder:

Do I need to make a throne to ask for help funding my move I don’t need heels or whatever, I just want the best movers that exist to handle my belongings across the country.

I can’t wait to get settled in a spacious Atlanta incall where I can cook for my dates 🥳

New section: Imagination Diary. This one is a revenge fantasy. open.substack.com/pub/dateaviv...

For last years words belong to last years language and next years words await another voice. - T.S. Eliot

Just finished my first book of 2026! 🥳

Last night I thought a guy said, “I had coupons for law school,” so I said, “That’s a very Jewish statement,” but he actually said, “I just had a cup of matzo ball soup,” so I was still right.

LA is the place you go to “see and be seen” but for me it’s been literal. LA is the place I learned to truly see myself. And the first place I have felt truly seen by others.

I think he just did 🥹

It sucks having both OCD & ADHD because sometimes when I think I left the stove on I’m right

It takes ten years to become a New Yorker, but you become an Angeleno as soon as you have a story about Andy Dick.

Lost my drivers license, replacement won’t be here in time, had to streamline my January travel plan. Behold:

Yearly reminder that “I’ve been thinking about this for three years” and “can you be at my hotel in 45 minutes” don’t go together. Let me in on your plans in advance if they concern me!

I have so little availability left for Atlanta I’m thinking about coming to town a day or two early.

I always feel like a Jane Austen heroine when I need to take a walk about it.