Companions often end up doing the frontline work of a sex therapist. Why? Because in a world is so dedicated to making us ashamed our sexuality. The only time some can feel safe to express their desires is with us. All while we deal with a high degree of stigma with grace everyday.

I booked the cutest most colorful downtown loft in Detroit hoping to trap @emberlynslade.com into staying with me July 23-35 😈

Okay but what if I move somewhere cute but still easily accessible to nyc like dobbs ferry? I’m gonna stay in Santa Monica thru the 28 summer Olympics but I like to think ahead.

I’m just a girl, sitting in front of the beautiful BLT I made for brunch, wondering which of my five beverages I want a sip of first.

Andddddd Detroit 7/23-25 is confirmed but don’t you want a duo w me & @emberlynslade.com before our solo dance cards fill up?

Beer pong on a Monday morning? Well since it’s for work…

Mpls, Chi, Naperville & Detroit would be completely full if 1/2 my inquiries confirmed. With three weeks to go, it’s pretty exciting watching what direction this adventure takes. Yay for my first time touring the Midwest!

I have to bust out my handmade mermaid costume for a poetry / pride event tonight & will be available potentially for one nightcap in said attire, for the sailors among you.

There’s a spicier version of this on my spicier page 💋

I didn’t realize until recently the World Cup games were in SO MANY cities. I’m a bit jealous of the Boston ladies, I hear Scottish clients are fun.

Gas went down yesterday & so did I.

I’ve been smoking way less weed since my 2 month break & now when I get high I’m all:

I just want to see ONE viral World Cup video about LA. Europeans discovering our efficient freeways, our $45 smoothies, our beautiful women that will stop you mid-coitus to shoot content. Just ONE!

We’re offering duos btw 👯‍♀️💞

Naperville July 22-23 confirmed, Chicago West Side July 21-22.

Minneapolis is officially confirmed 🥳. Incall downtown, July 19-21.

Happy Father’s Day to all cat dads & men who provided for me (& my cats) this year. Ya purrfect. (I’ll show myself out).

Whoops! Accidentally published my next imaginative diary in the AM rather than PM. Well, it IS easy like Sunday morning. Ruseletter out! Link in bio.

Sure CBT is cool but have you ever been ordered to pet a large and very spicy cat?

Findom summer? Don’t mind if I DO(mme).

Can’t wait for my favorite holiday this weekend, (someone else’s) Father’s Day. Every year Mr. D takes me to a strip club then back to his for the hot tub in honor of his departed dad. He even lets him pay!

You guys I think I’m gonna apply to go to Poetry Camp this summer wish me luck!

Please & thank you

Okay y’all big revelations last night & it’s that I can research & apply to MFA programs that have the major in Poetry I don’t have to just apply to the one I know I can get into where I’d have to focus on nonfiction. It’s all I ever wanted. I can cast a wider net. I can move, anywhere I want. 🧵1

“It’s ten o’clock somewhere!” Me, getting into bed

I could not even consider getting an MFA in poetry without the wild luck of stumbling into this career, the dizzying freedom my choices and lovers have bestowed upon me. Lectures all day. Gratitude titties.

I can’t stop thinking about DC. Everyone I met there, both on and off the clock, was just so perfectly authentic. In the most political city on earth. What balance.

Indian Wells the next few days. Might make a JOI video from my hotel. Do you gentlemen like that sort of thing?

NY got Mamdani we got haunted by early 2000’s reality villains, which, sadly, makes LA more the pulse of this country.

Lmao bc they want us to get disappeared.

Ever since I got settled into my new place all I wanna do is watch 90 Day Fiancé, lie around nude, & whack off. More on my 🌶️site.

Newsletter up!

July, edited:

My internet is everyone so 🐱pics! This is Samantha Jones (Sammy Jo):

You guys, it wasn’t until today that I realized that Nicki Minaj was not talking about trapping bees, she was saying, I am in the house of ill repute, like, a lot.

Possible Midwest July tour list: 1. Minneapolis 2. Cleveland 3. Detroit 4. Indianapolis 5. Milwaukee

Me: I like to keep it low key for the lobby Same Me: Puts on jeans so tight they hurt my butthole.

Canceling Austin to go be a guest at an MFA residency next week — will have limited availability in Palm Desert June 10-12!

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

Everything I’ve ever learned about Germans can be summed up with: Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän — Danube steamship company captain. One word. Done. Why use four words when you can use one absolutely feral thirty-nine letter word?

Had a client I haven’t seen in years reach out & was like where is your incall now & I was like Santa Monica & he was like OMG I’m on the Westside too! And like brother I know that’s why I moved here.

Been watching a doc on cryptids and my cats are enthralled, which makes sense, as cryptid docs are where true crime meets cat tv.

Just replied to an inquiry, thought, huh was that awkwardly put, then comforted myself with the knowledge that it is crystal clear I don’t use AI for admin.

Jerry Springer crawled so 90 Day Fiancé could fly

I never want the short answer, those are boring. Give me the socially unacceptable full story, that’s where connection lives.

I haven’t had a wishlist in forever but I want so many things for my new apartment so I might as well — what is everyone using these days?

Anyone in Phoenix this week? One of my favs is visiting.

It’s Never Sunny in Santa Monica (🥳).

Enjoying my new 75 inch TV & my first Primo Passo cappuccino while screening a couple whose professions reflect the exact kind of knowledge I’m into; I think I’m gonna like the West Side.