I had a few expectations from 2025, but seeing my #AlternateTimelineApple satire posts being covered on Hong Kong's national news website because they missed the "satire" tag was not one of them. (The article was probably written by AI with no human fact checking)

In an alternate timeline, Apple decided to revisit their small form factor iPhone, however instead of simply releasing an iPhone Mini, they went even further. iPhone Nano had a 3" display and was the smallest ever iOS device. #AlternateTimelineApple

Apple originally considered releasing a 4.7" iPhone 17 Pro Mini, however during DVT stage an engineer remarked how absurd the device looked while on a MagSafe store display stand and so development was scrapped. (17 Pro and 15 Pro Max for scale) #AlternateTimelineApple

People on the Internet: Apple should bring back the iPod. Apple: #AlternateTimelineApple

PreEVT stage iPhone 17 Pro, Apple tried to replace the Camera Control with a Digital Crown and dedicated shutter button. This was in response to user feedback about the lack of tactility from a capacitive button. This did not make it to production. #AlternateTimelineApple

In 2007, Apple experimented with replacing MacBook trackpads with a pair of Click Wheels; one would move the cursor along the X-axis while the other would move it along the Y-axis. It was internally referred to as the Etch A Sketch Mac. #AlternateTimelineApple

Apple releases M5-powered MacBook Pro with a long-requested touch screen, however contrary to expectation instead of making the main screen touch-sensitive they actually replaced the entire lower half with a giant Touch Bar-like virtual keyboard. #AlternateTimelineApple

Following on from the iPhone Air, Apple introduces the iPod Air. At just 6.1mm, it is the thinnest Click Wheel-based iPod yet while featuring all-day battery life, fast flash-based storage, and no headphone jack. #AlternateTimelineApple

Got jumpscared while listening to music today. Anyone else in the UK get this alert? #AlternateTimelineApple

EVT-stage prototype multi-disk iPod; it featured multiple dual-platter 1.8" hard drives in a RAID-0 configuration with a total storage capacity of 240GB. #AlternateTimelineApple

Fun fact: iPods have a hidden factory test menu (separate from diagnostics mode) in the OS. Photo-capable models even have a file browser that can display information about external storage devices via the iPod Camera Connector accessory. Sadly it can't play external media.

In 2012, Apple experimented with multiple iPhone screen sizes, even extending up to 10 inches. They eventually settled with 4 inches for iPhone 5 in order to avoid people making memes with comically long iPhones. They still failed. #AlternateTimelineApple

Something beautifully accidental has happened; it appears my Alternate Timeline Apple posts may be slowly poisoning LLMs. Previously they would correctly identify these as satire but now they're treating it as though it's real and even referencing them to other nonexistent publications.

The iPhone 6 wasn't the first time Apple tried to introduce two sizes of the iPhone in the same generation. Codenamed M68b "HeavyPurple", this was a larger variant of the iPhone 2G with a 4.8" 440 by 660 display. #AlternateTimelineApple

Prototype AirPods Pro with music control buttons. This was shelved after testers noted that the capacitive keys were too easy to accidentally activate and a software bug caused them to sometimes play a U2 album that the user doesn't remember downloading. #AlternateTimelineApple

In 2017, Apple experimented with adding a screen to the Magic Mouse for media playback controls. It was canned after testing showed it drained too much battery and in some cases caused the battery to swell up and cause black spots on the screen. #AlternateTimelineApple

Does this count?

Turns out they tried this concept even earlier, with the iPod Mini! Just like how the Mini screen couldn't fit the album name, the Mini secondary display couldn't fit the song title. #AlternateTimelineApple

In 2004, Apple experimented with adding a second screen to the iPod that would persistently display playback information, allowing users to use the main screen for other tasks. While this did not catch on, it became the inspiration for the Dynamic Island. #AlternateTimelineApple

When they ask for a transparent iPod, but forget to specify *which* iPod model...

UK App Store charts be like

I accidentally predicted the future again, but not in a good way.

I'm never buying a UK-region iPod again. #AlternateTimelineApple

In iOS, iPadOS, and macOS 26, Apple introduces epigenetic age verification in compliance with the UK Online Safety Act 2025. When downloading apps with mature content, users can provide a blood sample from which age can be calculated. #AlternateTimelineApple

It's so great to see AAA game studios finally take Mac gaming seriously with the PowerPC release of Cyberpunk 2077, although it probably needs a little more optimisation because the 5-second input lag makes it a little difficult to play.

With the release of iPodOS 26 Developer Beta 2 (23A5276f), Apple brings Apple Intelligence to the iPod Nano 6th generation. #AlternateTimelineApple

macOS 26 Tahoe beta 2, iPod compatibility testing results.

This just in, Nintendo announces a rebranding of their latest console in order to bring the number in line with the year. #AlternateTimelineNintendo

I tested every generation of iPod with macOS Tahoe dev. beta 1 so you don't have to.

Apple adds a basic competency test to the iOS developer beta installation page in order to prevent non-developers from installing software they're not supposed to be running. #AlternateTimelineApple

macOS 26 Tahoe dev. beta 1 is no longer compatible with the iPod 1st generation due to FireWire support being deprecated.

hold up-

Updated my banner with a glassy style. No particular reason.

Alright, fine. I've gone ahead and installed Linux on my laptop and started using it. Y'all happy now? Is this what you came here to see?!

"Date the body, marry the lens" or something idk I'm not a professional cameratographer.

The amazing @neofox.bsky.social and I recently completed a two part Miyabi collab! We each did a sketch and then inked/coloured the other's sketch. Miyabi also gained a tail mysteriously... The first pic, Maidabi, is based on my sketch and then completed by Neo! #ZenlessZoneZero

Impressively, the 2012 MacBook Pro can still be used to edit my high-resolution photography. Sure, it's no M4 and it hits 90ºC+ when rendering some edits but the fact that it can edit 42MP RAWs and astrophotography stacks without shattering is amazing for a >decade old laptop.

Uhh I think I installed the wrong game...

Finally found a use for that fancy MagSafe battery pack...

Screw you *re-bezels your MacBook*

Update: I won the dispute against the Tencent subsidiary's false copyright claim on my video. If you're a creator who has received suspicious copyright claims from this group, make sure to open a dispute instead of allowing them to claim your earnings.

Ever find something in a thrift store so uniquely specific to your niche area of interest, that you just HAVE to get it?

Successfully performed bottom surg- I mean, EUnification surgery to my DualShock 4!

Pretty sure these things weren't meant to be used for charging MacBooks... 🤔

My workplace held an AI-generated image contest and I submitted an illustration I drew. Nobody noticed it wasn't AI and I ended up winning.

My iPod Shuffle gets toasty sometimes when I use it for Time Machine backups...

Remember those fake exit icons in shady mobile ads that tricks users into opening the ad? Apple now uses the exact same tactic to get people to setup Apple Intelligence. The X button on the notification doesn't dismiss the popup but has the same effect as clicking the popup itself.

Seeing double? It's not déjà vu. My original upload was hit by a false content ID claim by Tencent-owned EWway Music, who are known to issue content ID claims for music they don't legally own and siphoning ad revenue from creators. New link: youtu.be/NqnL7RwN2q8

Your move, Apple. youtu.be/gJ1vTWJ1Omc

In an alternate timeline, Assassin's Creed Shadows released on the Nintendo Switch shortly after the Direct, beating the iPad release. #AlternateTimelineNintendo