Can he play up front for Everton next season? #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

Only our tenth????!

There's the odd time when pride in your community goes through the roof... A local teacher, 31, urgently requiring life saving operations (plural), which'd cost €600,000 over in the US... Take a bow Arklow. In a matter of weeks this town has hit the target. It's quite the beautiful thing to behold.

And *that* was the moment when Malcolm decided to swan off and manage this new punk band The Sex Pistols.....

He started his time in Canada having a few scoops and a great chat with Kevin Kilbane, and as he heads home from Montreal this evening he bumped into this fella, and had the chats. No scoops! Had to watch Ireland in between these two moments! Not bad for a long haul trek! #COYBIG

And off to the gulag he goes.... His crime as yet unknown, but rumour has it he had something to do with getting rather intimate with Michael Jackson's pet chimpanzee... *Allegedly* 😎

Huey Lewis was reportedly not impressed...

Three Evertonians in the Irish starting eleven for tonight’s game in Montreal v Canada… Travers, O’Brien and Coleman. #FAI #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

I Wanna Be A Dawg..... #StoneRoses

So much love for this guy and his music, one of Ireland's finest exports over the past couple of decades. Bit of a national treasure, yet oddly enough many remain unfamiliar with his music! www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtOZ...

Four years ago today out in Armenia, a pair of Evertonians! My lad, that's the fella in the photo who's not Seamus Coleman, is out in Canada right now, flew over yesterday for Saturday morning's game in Montreal. Madness, I tell thee.... #IRISHTOFFEES #FAI #EVERTON #UTFT #NSNO

I've this uneasy feeling that "Nick Heyward" (he of Haircut 100 fame).... Was he actually a youthful Nigel Farage? Fantastic Day my arse! Once seen etc. etc. etc....

Very interesting programme on Irish tv just now about footy finances back in the day, and all the shady bastards who moved in for a piece of the pie. Been here before…

Is this the moment where I link to my own funeral playlist (forever being amended and updated, folks!) over on the evil Spotify platform?! I want people smiling, singing and dancing when I pop me clogs....

A Facebook memory from a few years back, the radio comms from the 3-2 home win v Palace. As poor as we finished this season, a stark reminder here! Tear in the eye, but click on the links to the goals, and deffo listen from full time on. We're Everton, aren't we?! www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0mO...

My coaching badges don't really amount to much in all honesty, but with a lifetime of following football, I'd like to offer my services next season for any team with genuine CL ambitions, covering all bases, including penalties. That's where I step in, getting paid to show you Ray Stewart peno's!

I'll say it yet again - I hate the modern day "Champions League". Gimme the days when that lot at Anfield won it 4 times in 7 years between '77 and '84 - you either won the League or re-entered as holders. Open draw from the first round on. Less money, admittedly, but a more honest competition!

Only one man can possibly transform Arsenal's nearly men into genuine Champions League contenders. *AND* he has friends supportive of the club already! Step forward.... If the price is right! #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

Anyone hear any news about Arne Slot?!

Looks like the Republic of Ireland's "home game" against Israel is going to be moved out of Dublin. Obviously I'd rather we pulled the plug altogether, but that's hardly going to happen, for obvious reasons. However, if the reverse fixture remains out in Tel Aviv.....they can f*****g do one!

A passing thought - Wexford came out of nowhere, though tradition always favoured them; back in 1996, to win a glorious All Ireland Senior Hurling title. The coach (manager) Liam Griffin then resigned, and to this day remains a hero, as Wexford has down eff all since! Sound familar? #UTFT #NSNO

“Tell yer what….I’d really love it, love it…really love it if the Iranians went and told FIFA where they can shove their World Cup, and stayed at home, holidaying near the Strait of Hormuz instead….”

Question: does the acquisition of a proper GOALSCORER (yeah, I know - humour me!) allow David Moyes some wriggle room amongst a fanbase increasingly non-supportive of the intransigent Scot? As bad as we finished we weren't a million miles off where we wanted to be. Thin margins! #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

May I take this opportunity to welcome all fans of Chelsea FC to the Monday Night Football Club next season… As Saturday 3pm home games become a thing of the past. #PL #EFC #CFC

Kind of sums 'em up.... If Everton had've been relegated over recent seasons, all you would have heard was "best stadium in the Championship!" If Spurs had've been relegated today, it'd have been "best stadium in the Championship!" West Ham go down.... "They're playing Millwall next season!"

Roma have qualified for the Champions League!

Roma currently lead 1-0 away at Verona, a missed penalty converted on the rebound, but the big news is arguably Como now in a CL spot, as AC Milan are now 2-1 down at home to Cagliari, and Juve have also just scored, now level on points with Como! Could be a fun ending to the season!

I’ll tell yer one little debate I’m looking forward to on here in the days ahead… The drop off in form over the closing weeks from our keeper. He’s been superb but no doubt of late his form has dipped, and badly. Not advocating a fire sale, but there’s a question in there!!! #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

The Roma game at Verona, kicking off in fifteen minutes… They’re seeking a Champions League place. How important a result is this going to be for the immediate future of Everton?

Spurs will erect a statue of Michael Keane in honour of his starring role in the goal that preserved Tottenham’s presence in the Premier League.

S’ppose Mr. Moyes should be thankful that Dirty Leeds didn’t go above us today! What a dreadful end to the season - arguably more for himself than the team. The warning signals are there if we’re not clever over the coming weeks. #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

Moyes is taking the piss, isn’t he, not putting Beto on at this stage! He must really hate West Ham!!!

All Spurs players could leave this pitch right now…. And Everton *still* wouldn’t score!!! #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

Spurs have not won a single home Premier League game since December 6, last year. In their current position they could not have wished for an easier afternoon, all things considered. So far…. C’mon Everton, ffs!

Even West Ham fans at the London Stadium are now screaming at Moyes to get Beto on! #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

The more times I view that opening Dpurs goal, the funnier Michael Keane’s bewilderment becomes…. #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

Killing thing here is….. if we could level….this stadium gets VERY nervous! Won’t happen if we continue playing this puke football. #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

Ndiaye looks our only spark. ‘Mon the Toffees!

Dark Arts at play here with the officials and their mic set up. West Ham game has already resumed so our game will go on after the other one has finished! Not that there’ll be anything in the balance the way Everton “played” in that first half!

Think I’d rather watch a re-run of that piss poor game between Hull and Middlesbrough from yesterday than put my emotions through the wringer here, for the second half, hoping for some f……g semblance of what’s on our f……g crest! #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

Beto on for the second half please. Coleman on for Keane too, switch O’Brien inside. And then look to get George, Alcaraz and Armstrong involved. It’s our last 45 of the season, nowt to lose. That first half was dreadful.

Soft, soft, soft. The heart of Everton’s defence… My God, how poor it’s become.

When are Everton going to turn up?!

Y’know how it normally takes the likes of Leicester or Forest fans about 30 seconds to sing about feeding scousers etc.? How many minutes in before some of our lot pipe up with “He’s Brazilian…..” #UTFT #NSNO #EVERTON

So.....we're not wearing black then, eh?! Good! Too hot a day to be dressed in black!

Team news just in.... * Pickford Coleman Tarkowski O'Brien Mykolenko Garner Iroegbunam Rohl Dewsbury-Hall Ndiaye Beto * in my head

Wouldn't it be lovely if an actual full blooded action packed shit now or get off the pot kind of game broke out at Spurs later today? Instead of an insipid 90 odd minutes that'd make Hull v Middlesbrough look like Brazil v Italy from World Cup '82... Still calling the two games as 1-0 either way!

An occasional series: Surreal covers of classic songs from someone you most CERTAINLY didn't expect - Miley Cyrus does the Cocteau Twins!! You read that right! Aside her ignorance thinking no one had ever heard of the band! Not the worst, a respectable 5 out of 10! www.youtube.com/watch?v=emkO...