ok i took photos of myself when i started E and looking now, fat has moved from my stomach. but none of it has gone to my tits, it’s ALL in my thighs and love handles. i’m pear shaped apparently.

“In Case I Make It.” just as a title resonates with me more and more. i’m only living and doing things just in case i do make it to what “it” is to me (comfortable in my own body and live with my wife). it’s not because i think it will happen, i’m a pessimist. but might as well try while i’m here.

inferiority complex’s also suck i think. i don’t know because this sense is so deeply ingrained into my head that when challenged i cannot process what is undoubtedly the truth, right? i’m not just some side character in peoples lives, a smiling face to build the background.

so it turns out living in a perpetual state of fight/flight/freeze/fawn isn’t actually healthy or a good way to go through life. even just messaging people, the most faceless act, i freeze. to even my own partner. i’ve lost friendships because i’m afraid i’m annoying or or i’ll say something wrong.

what they don’t tell you is HRT can actually make you go from the girl on the right to the one on the left, as you slowly regain what was once repressed by your brain.

friendly reminder: if you saw someone shoplifting if you see a tent in the woods if you see someone sleeping in their car NO YOU DIDN’T! shut it!

do you have bluesky

meeting new people has reignited my drive to draw. it makes me so happy seeing reactions to fanart. i just get ideas and have to make them reality.

ough left boob hurt

i forgot the word “funniest” but that works too

if i was made to be trans whatever higher power did it as a nerf because they knew i’d be the person ever if i was cis

i’m so creative yet my period has made me have so little energy i just cannot sit down without feeling tired. maybe next week, still writing. i wanna make more short form skits and maybe horror things. as well i should finally edit down those vods of at your mercy…

tried tucking again after a few years and it was nice

So for Organ Failure I had to make the Doctor's animations myself. Which was a lot of fun but I was suffocating behind that mask. But California Girls was OBLIGATORTY!! Here you go, a compilation making ONE of the dances of the Doctor! #gamedev #indiedev #indiegames #solodev #gameart

one of the most worst “that times of the month” yet i feel like i can break down crying for gopd or bad reasons at any moment AND my stomach hurts!

i just wanna live long enough to see myself married to my beautiful lovely gender nonconforming partner and be able to wear leggings without a skirt or tucking. then i will feel complete.

what would the AM speech be if AM was an angsty trans woman

in therapy i tried rhythmic bilateral stimulation. these little cuffs thay would vibrate back and forth, left right left right. never have i been handed something that immediately pacified me faster. i was in a god damn trance. eyes jumped back and forth.

i have a bit in mind but it involves drawing yuri of myself is it worth it

it’s that time of the month and i’m very emotional but this time it’s positive and i love my wife and my friends and my dog and my wife did i say wife? also friends they’re very pretty cool.

trans woman are pretty aaaand post

i once again retreat into my dark and damp little cave in the earth for the night

i lurk in severs, reading here and there. just too socially stunted to talk.

i am craving middle eastern food i want anything saffron

i always loved my wife but i swear HRT makes me so sappy. before i would say i love her this and that. but on estrogen i get in these moments of just repeatedly reminding her that i love her and she’s my wife and i love my wife because she makes me happy and i love my wife

editing clips again

the wife likes clowns, and i like jesters. we were meant to be.

afrin, save me. save me afrin

anyways does anyone know if the fog is coming today?

been well over a year at this point and i still have to remind myself, “you ARE lady lifetime.” she’s not some separate person that’s YOU on the screen girl!!!

i vibe with tragedy seems fun and so far most people i know are comedy or mystery. #art #digitalart #artfight #artfight2026 #procreate

explain your @

to any game dev making a game where i can place down and store items in chests, for the love of god just let me pick up and move a chest with items in it. it feels like every game i need to empty the chest first reorganize everything.

just LadyLifetime on there by the way

choosing an artfight team is gonna be hard

i was a catgirl once

day three of the sickness i hate it hwre

the urge to make a bunch of random bullshit for stream

2026 now, most up to date drawing of how i want to look. i can only look at her and smile. #art #procreate #digitalart #trans #transgender #pride

if every lifetime is canon i guess lord lifetimes also exist

this Will Wood song specifically is funny to me because before HRT i didn’t understand, i thought it was a boring 7 minutes of Will just talking. now after HRT it makes me cry and scream, “CAUSE I MADE MORE MISTAKES! THAN SIMPLE EMPTY MOMENTS.” and, “Imagine me, just like my parents? yeah right!”

this stems from coming out at work today, telling the lesbian manager, “hey so i’m NOT cis.” where the 60 year old el salvadoran lady who said she can be my second mom after leaning my real one is shit, walked up and said, “that’s a very beautiful name. this is my daughter everyone!” i almost cried.

i wish my preferred name wasn’t so unique because then i wouldn’t be hesitant to share it. because EVERYONE seems to love it and think it’s pretty.

having boobs is so cool but GOD do they get SWEATY

48 hours clean

i sometimes try and think of a drag name for fun- like “Lady Lifetime” isn’t already a perfect drag name.

i should draw her again. she’s always been my dream. it’s been four years since i last drew her as the album cover of Will Wood’s Self-ish.

2018-2019,’old drawings complete with my old signature! you can see my improvement. this was how i wanted to look when i finally accepted myself as trans. large bow has always been a dream of mine. i don’t look like her yet, but i’m still trying to. #transgender #trans #art #digitalart #drawing

i should find all those drawings of what i wanted to look like from like, 2019-2021

i was 11 when i first heard the term genderfluid. it was new and interesting to me. by 13, i still remember the day. i was at the family computer, lost in thought. “i couldn’t be a girl, right? nah. that’s like rare. i can’t be that.” but then, i started thinking about it more. how others would feel