Hit that man with a hammer and he wont bother your young anymore

no YOURE crying at your desk because a dude posted to the dungeon crawler carl subreddit about how they always struggled in school but at age 44 they just finished their first book and it was DCC and they loved it and already started book 2

I feel like we’re about a week away from “haaaa yeah that whole AI only social networking thing was a joke, what a funny lil hose, ain’t we stinkers” and two weeks away from it being forgotten

1. The fucken Eagles, man (Desperado slaps though) 2. virtually any country artist that has charted in the last decade (Nas X excluded) 3. Ja Rule 4. Megan Trainor 5. The Dire Straits (they’re ok but why is this hailed as the greatest when they’re very middle of the road so that’s why)

We need a term for stuff that isn’t exactly AI but might as well be because it’s so anodyne and bland.

Nowadays people hardly ever scurry. You see a scamper time to time, scrambles are common. But you hardly ever see a scurry. This is because of Society.

Yknow the entire structure of the current admin is just weird. We should talk about how weird they are again.

Fuck propaganda.

One thing the internet gets right is that we shouldn’t be known by our tru names outside of our intimate close circle.

I feel I should address all my enemies. In the public square.

What if the big post-Trump split in the Republican party is the pro-Ozempic branch vs the anti-Ozempic branch

Saw a community theater rendition of The Wall this weekend (it was dope) but it had me look up Roger Waters’ political stances and it’s the most “you’re not wrong Walter you’re just an asshole” thing you can imagine

Folks in these dark times I fear I’ve been craving some nicotine and I regret to inform you a 3mg Zyn scratched that itch

Wisdom.

Honestly like…how is this not illegal I know, I know. He’s rich and white so he gets an absolutist 1st Amendment interpretation but…like….this ought to replace the “it’s illegal to yell fire in a crowded theatre” example

I am very much looking forward to Kamala Harris polling around 20% in the first round of dem primaries

<tears behind ornate sunglasses> That’s my captain www.usatoday.com/story/sports...

Yknow back when this broke I was like “how exactly did that guy pull that girl” but hearing her talk for 30 seconds I’m like “yeah yup nope yeah that tracks”

(A bird walking out of a Theology classroom) “Well it is CLEAR we have a different definition of both the words ‘Diet’ and ‘Worms’!”

Virtually every problem we have exists either because of Ronald Reagan or Henry Ford.

Feels like those 4 points Fergs foot lost are gonna be big

Sunball

Damn the Lions still got Bobby Carpenter?

Clint Black was born in New Jersey lololoololol

I have imagined Elvis saying “he fell fightin that big bitch of a Balrog baby” to Galadriel and its broken me

Tom Brady lookin great!

It took TEN YEARS for a socialist to realize Trump has no actual ideology and you can just trick him into straight up communism if you look good and say one nice thing to him face to face

asdfjklhgfa

Haaaaaaaa just realized I’ve got like zero leg drive on bench. Realized this grinding out a bitch of a single at 275. But that fuckers grounded.

The Costco gotta hire some folks in meth for the cafeteria, you can’t sling pizzas at the rate needed sober

Bro ain’t nothin out there as fake as economics. “The money vibes are bad” yeah no shit sherlock. “There should be more money” OH YOU WENT TO SCHOOL TO LEARN THAT LAWRENCE? BRAVO IM SURE THAT KILLS AT THE GOLF STORE.

Iont know how I can better summarize my vibe than to say I just went through the Costco in short shorts listening to Freddie Gibbs and when the line “Fuck the needle, she just puff and sniff, Snuffleupagus” came up I sang it out loud

Voter suppression efforts hitting the whitefolk today

Who could’ve known a nation built on never learning the correct lesson from any mistake ever could end up in a bad place

Just saw a luchador pull his wallet out his tights, put cash in it, put it back, and go to the next person in line. Pro shit.

Re-frame money spent on politicians/elections as a tax.

Keeping Dianne’s memory alive on the sky instead of the tweets:

What if Stromile and Taylor are related

If you’re thinking of running a 5K and then sitting for a 4 hour tattoo- don’t.

Mouse crime.

Russia proposing a Bering Straight tunnel is extremely, EXTREMELY funny. Imagine the world’s most expensive construction project so you could drive to the worst part of Garland, TX except there’s 1/100th the population and it’s like -7 degrees. Oh and this is all built by Russia and Elon Musk.

I’m keen to watch the Hanover Park Police union over the next couple of days because they are in a very weird position right now

Fine. I’ll get my $1.85 from a class action lawsuit in ten years. Just go ahead and give me good brain damage. I don’t want this 8 pound sloshy processing machine any more. Just make it so I can drive and make a spreadsheet once a month and not have to worry about news and economics anymore.

Enough is enough. Ban algorithms.

Impressionable Teen Falls In With Wrong Socioeconomic Class — theonion.com/impressionab...

Sure might be a good thing if we didn’t have a century’s worth of qualified immunity precedent decisions what with all this police activity happening

Gnome college ?