The length my cat will go to just to sit on my lap … 🤣

Standing in line for the deli and waiting for your order feels like a humiliation ritual

Who’s dumb idea was it to make the cure for ADHD a pill you have to remember to take everyday?

“She didn’t have an army of transsexuals she could call on to save her in her moment of need the way I do”

I think one of my greatest joys as a parent is hearing my kiddo say something they picked up from me. Its just the cutest thing in the world.

Can anyone give me the rundown on whats happening with Marsha’s?

Not me comparing the nutrition facts on doritos and funyuns as if any of this shit even matters 🥴

The irony of the security guard checking my bag for weapons and then watching me hesitate to step outside on to the escalator (out of fear)

One thing about me is I’m never getting less than 100% on a participation grade.

Being called a “very kind young man” by an elderly woman at the grocery store is all the validation I need for the week.

Fish are a social construct

Update: Fartzie is single-beanedly getting me through my finals.

I love randomly reading all of @ewindisch.ontological.observer ‘s posts, even though I only ever understand about 0.0005% of what she’s saying.

And now Fartzie has a window and a plant 🥹🖤

I was freaking out about writing this ten page paper thinking: how the heck am I going to write ten whole pages??? Turns out my real issue is going keeping it within the ten page limit. What the heck in the world.

Yes, my plate is very full… but my cup runneth over. 🥲🖤

Struggling with the work/WW3 balance.

I’m sorry, but someone has to say it: Sharpies dry out way too quickly

Be honest: how much credit card debt is it normal to have in your thirties?

I cook ‘em on the stove in a non stick pan on low heat until they’re cooked through, turning frequently, and then raise the heat up in the last minute or two to get a nice bit of char.

Today will be comprised of: 8hrs working my FT job, 2hrs working my PT job, and 3hrs in class taking a Midterm exam, and it is literally all back-to-back.

Just ate a metric ton of soup. Life is good.

Soup is so cool because it’s basically just tasty hot liquid that makes everything you put it in it also tasty and hot.

As much as I hate homework, it is admittedly SIGNIFICANTLY easier to do when I actually give a shit about the topic.

Remember when Minecraft was just a fun cute little game I played in my spare time- where all I wanted to do was mine cobblestone for hours and look at the pretty landscapes???? Why am I now building increasingly complex machines & doing math???? For fun????????

Body hurts because of not enough movement. Movement hard because body hurts. And so on and so forth.

There is so much art I want to create but I have neither the time nor resources to bring to fruition and that is SAD.

We got fast food for dinner and half of my meal was missing from the bag. Without a second thought, my kiddo put some of her meal on my plate. I raised an exceptionally amazing human. I am so grateful.

“And your armour can't protect you from the fear you feel inside And the war is coming now, you see, there's nowhere left to hide” is a great lyric, especially since it’s sung by this character:

My cat loves milk but she can’t have it because she is lactose intolerant and I know how hard that is as I also love milk and can’t have it because I’m lactose intolerant.

Gentle reminder to all that it’s not helpful to punish behavior you want to see. For instance, if you want people to be outraged about something but then when they are, you suggest that they should have been outraged sooner. I understand where it comes from and it’s not that the point is invalid…

If they made nutritionally-dense human kibble that tasted good, I would have no problem just eating that 99.9% of the time.

The sounds my tummy has been making today are craaaazy

I have a PF Black Card now btw so if anyone wants to come be my gym buddy (for free), please lmk. ✨

My child, holding up a piece of scrambled egg, “this kinda looks like a unicorn, but without the tail or legs or a horn” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

“I know where most of the countries are”-Fox “Do you know where Latvia is?”-me “Yeah, isn’t that in South America?”-Fox

Is there any way to get genetic testing done NOT through a private company? Like are there any ways to get it done that are HIPAA-compliant?

Is cheesecake a pie? Please discuss.

Does anyone remember the game show “Solitary”? That show was so wild.

I just need to survive one more final exam and one more project and I’ll have completed my first semester of grad school. Holy crap.

Flavor dust is to seasoning powder what powdered sugar is to granulated sugar.

DOES NO ONE KNOW WHAT FLAVOR DUST IS???????

Child 1: I spyyyy……I spy……………… Child 2: HURRY UP!! Child 1: I spy… someone who is being RUDE! 😆😆😆😆

The sad thing is, I would probably be really good at doing market research but I simply do not want to participate in The Market™️.

Pooping without the bidet sucks but without the squatty potty?? just horrible

Unfortunately she is correct

It’s crazy how much the Hazbin soundtrack is single-handedly keeping me from absolutely crashing out

Why does no one answer my burning questions on here 😤

What’s the etymology of “busting ass” as a euphemism for farting?

“Yeah cuz I’m like Elphaba.. you’re more like Glinda. Popular, uh huh Charismatic…yeah” -Fox to me just now 🙃