Itching to bite something...

"...I agree that tits are nice, but I'm not going to show mine off just for the sake of showing them off. They're big enough that I can't exactly hide them, so I can't even do anything special with them without being a stripper. And I don't like any of you landlubbers enough for that."

"Yes. Wanting to be a nurse doesn't mean you can just wear a red cross to pose as a medic. It's a crime. Maid impersonation is similar."

"...Is maid impersonation a joke to you people?"

"Oi. Don't try stealing my job. I don't like it, but it's better than retail."

She's... Humming again singing while working? "Coconut coconut sharks in the water..." ...Okay, something must have just gotten stuck in her head while doomscrolling YouTube in bed last night.

"Yeah, you're gonna join them in the afterlife. I thought you landlubbers finally learned to stop doing shit that gives you such brief lifespans."

"And did you know that there's a reason people stopped doing that crazy shit? Stick to cooked meat, landlubber."

"...Sushi is processed differently compared to land meat, which makes it safe. What I'm doing now is comparable to if you just caught a fish and ate it straight away. You'll get horribly ill."

TAIL SMACK ATTACK! "No. Bad. You humans can't handle raw meat."

...She's eating raw pork chops smothered in barbecue sauce...

Restless tail swinging.

"...I better not catch any of you disgusting fucks taking the five second rule seriously. If it touches the floor, throw it away. Don't eat off the floor."

She's obligated to do her first #SeductiveSunday, but this is the most fanservice she thinks anybody deserves right now.

"...I'm going to have to blacklist your neighborhood and never work there."

"...Or they'll carve you up on an altar."

"...I'm not doing CPR if that's what you're hoping for."

"It's so dead and boring around here that even work is more entertaining..."

Currently eating a rotisserie chicken... Correction, her third rotisserie chicken of the night.

"No, I don't do lawncare. No, I don't do babysitting. No, I don't make your meals. I'm a maid, not a groundskeeper, nanny, or chef. I clean, that's it."

Big yawn. She just got done cleaning some office building. It was so boring, and her ears are tricking her into thinking she still hears the vacuum...

"...That's too big even for the Kraken. Are you sure you didn't just feel the call of the void in that moment and hallucinate? Because ten minutes on foot would be around a half mile, give or take."

Reenacting chiropractor videos on her tail.

"Skill issue." Wha- "You don't have to be a swimmer just because one of your pets is. Would you jump in a volcano if you started with a fire type?"

"...Maybe you should stay out of the water, landlubber. Before you become Kraken food."

"...I'd have to be bitten by a Brit to get such a lopsided bite mark..." Ah. British teeth joke. "A shark bite wouldn't be that weird looking. I got too close to a boat propeller when I was young."

"...Bite mark?" She's not aware of any bite mark. Let her just swing her tail forward, catch it, look it over... "...Oh. Do you mean this chunk out of my fin?"

"Before anybody asks... Yes, blahaj is beloved by most sharks. It's like Mexicans loving Speedy Gonzalez and Chinese loving the Kung Fu Panda. So don't let anybody get into a fit and insist that blahaj is offensive to us. I love blahaj more than anything." The one thing she's passionate about...

"...Rule number nine, never go anywhere without a knife." ...She already has several on hand, but she just bought another...

#WagonWednesday only because she showed up too late for Tail Tuesday.

"Listen, landlubber. I charge by the hour as long as I'm here, whether I'm working or not. The cleaning fee is going to be a lot higher if you don't just let me get the job done." Shark maid OC by BadJokesLucia. Multiverse compatible. Adult writer, adult muse. MDNI