These training hours have reached a level of tedium that I find unnerving.

Child never attended school. He is enrolled in our school bc no one knows what to expect of him in a school setting and his diagnosis had not been made at that time (everyone still knew) Dad had some very grandiose claims about kid most of which were bullshit but also play into what is about to

We discovered that Caveboy HATES the movie Toy Story and considering the way he treats some of his toys, no shit he hates it. If those poor ducks ever come to life they are beating the living quack right out of him.

Overpriced body oil that has never stopped its "once in a lifetime" sale just irks me bc #1 it says "non-greasy" and then shows a woman slathered up and my friends, I have fried chicken in less oil than that but also they have an ad featuring an orange baby that made me squeal and toss my phone

Listen, if you ever get bit by a human be prepared for it to hurt like a screaming bitch MANY days after the fact.

1 of the agenda items for our last day of school on Monday is "Sharing/Team Building" wherein we are to bring something that fits into a grocery bag and tells a personal story about ourselves. Dude. We have worked a whole year with each other. We know each other. (My class also spent a night in a

Chicken next door has learned that Gidget and The Twerp will feed her and now she is never ever going to leave.

Today, every time that Caveboy said "fuck you" I responded with a random fact about monkeys in the deadest monotone voice imaginable. It got to the point that he would say FUCK YOU and every adult in the room would stop to see what insane shit I popped off with.

Our parents apparently never read the calendars or myriad of memos that are sent home bc a staggering number of them did not know that today was the kids' last day. Caveboy's mom was 1 of those and informed us that he would be brought to school. Woman had surgery yesterday. She knows that he is not

In the least shocking turn of events like, EVER, it is raining once again. Yay. Rain. No, no. I really do like living in a swamp. It's fine.

Other parts of my day included: A boy dropping his pants to his ankles on the playground to piss directly on the picnic table. A little whirlwind cuddling up very close to me and then pinching the living shit out of me bc she is mean like that. A random preschooler came and plopped on my lap.

Every morning, the kids pick a task box, complete the task box and then have free time until breakfast. Every morning Caveboy does the same task box and every single day we tell him to stop slamming it to the table, on his head, etc. bc once it is broken in any way it is gone. GUESS WHAT TODAY WAS

Things I have said recently that caught other people off guard She acts like a twitchy dog on a pinecone and cactus diet. That boy is going to make my head spin all the way off my body. Get out the ouija board, I need to tell it to my mother.

To clarify, the 2 chipmunks were brought in at the same time, in the same dog mouth and both scattered in different directions like soggy lightning bolts.

In a feat of both masterful hunting and just sheer luck, Chug (MC's dog) managed to bring home not 1 but TWO chipmunks and then promptly released them into the house where she, the cat and MC played a super loud game of WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY. So far the answer is "no one knows"

Me to Middle Child: Our class hatched out baby chicks Her: Did you have an incubator or something? Me: No. We all took turns sitting on them. The trick is to just ease yourself down carefully. Her: Me: Well, you kind of asked for that shit, didn't ya.

Holy shit. It is now my big fear that they are going to try to keep me as 1:1 with Caveboy until he graduates or I drop dead and before he moves to Int.1 he will be bigger than me in every way so I am going to be working on that ol' bob and weave, you betcha.

On Tuesday teachers will be coming to observe 2 of our students bc they might be going to public school. Observation will let them have an idea of what to expect, what accommodations might need to be in place and also if they are even ok to go to a public school at this time. Parents for both are

And, yes, before I get questions, I do have a name I call her. Henelope Cluckington.

The chicken next door is just fully invested in not belonging over there now and has taken to hiding under my old pool ladder when it is time to be in her coop and roosting. It should be noted that I fully believe my cats turned this wayward hen on to this hiding spot. Thanks guys.

The thing about human bites is that they hurt like a bitch. That is all.

Worthless Shit is possibly going to work at the school next to ours where the pay will be insanely high and that is just kind of absolute bullshit.

NGL, I am kind of crushing these pre/post assessments. Look at me knowing shit.

I am kind of glad that this training module is not being evaluated by a human because I just typed "shitting down" and did not catch it until I hit submit. Whoopsie.

I feel bad for her, but Teacher B has the newly hatched chicks at her house and apparently they are the LOUDEST and neediest babies she has ever raised.

And now, Super fun ways to get the polio with dipshits that Wrath reluctantly knows. Touching lightning bugs (aka fireflies, depending on region) Yep. Just touching a single one and bam...the polio. Swimming in a pool before Memorial Day. That's right. The fuck.

Several of the kindergarten class from the school next door to ours were in their caps and gowns in our cafeteria when I hear a little voice saying THAT'S MY FRIEND! I look up and she is running to gather me up to bring me to her little group. I got hugs and these kids were loving my outfit and then

There is a dipshit that does not know how roundabouts work that owes his unblasted ears to Taylor Momsen.

The risk of me taking a conversation to a dark and twisted place is usually pretty high if I am being wholly honest.

As usual, my competitive side came roaring to life while trying to complete these make up hours that make zero sense at all but here we are.

Ever find yourself having a full on conversation with a small tree frog as you get ready to plop yourself in the smelly gross water of your pool? Just me? Oh good.

The average person will kick off a long weekend having dinner with friends, maybe some drinks, a movie, whatever. me? I kick shit off my getting a small metal butterfly imbedded in my foot and then having to do basic yoga to get that shit pulled back out and doctor myself up. Fun!

We realized that among the many many ways that Asshole is going to suck with our 1 student is the fact that the woman will do everything in her power to not get in the pool. Guess where that kiddo is the absolute happiest? That's right. Also, AH is going to be leaving 1 week before the end of camp

New Principal came to our room at the end of the day to cackle laugh bc Caveboy had to take 2 tries to get to the gym without swearing but on the third attempt the little butthole made it to the door and flew me the bird. Well. Shit.

As has become the tradition, the weather for water day was not really ideal. The plan to move water day to the swimming pool failed when a kid from the 1 intermediate class shat in the pool so our class said fuck it, set up a splash pad, some little pools and went down to freeze our asses off while

New Principal literally asked the teachers and then the paras about placements for next year and then actually fucking listened to what she was told. GASP! What a concept.

Our class hatched out baby chicks. Caveboy who believes that he himself is a bird of some sort (based on current emotion) is enthralled with these little fluffernutters. S went from mostly disinterested to wholly invested in the matter of 20 days.

It has reached the point where I can listen to the radio/news and end up driving off a bridge on my way to work OR I can listen to Pandora where I no shit, get so into the music that I sometimes forget to make planned stops and I am ok with that.

Caveboy has had a rough few days, missed yesterday (Water Day) and came back today filled with so much love that he bit the ever loving shit out of my arm. (Happy CB is a dangerous CB)

Oh no, not a little girl telling her grandma "that white lady at my momma's school gets to wear her cat ears whenever she wants to" and then later this same little girl told her grandma that her and I can absolutely wear the same size shoes and she loves me for that.

Neighbors have bought one of those quick set pools. They struggled for HOURS to get it upright, started filling it and then went on to do other things. Hose slid out of the pool and so for all of that time they have been just watering the entire driveway and nothing more. I feel so bad for them.

Oh no, just me stomping around in fart smelling murky water trying to heft out a ton of leaves so that i can start chemming sooner rather than later.

Haven't had one of these in a while: Misheard Lyrics with Gidget. Today, we ruin a Motley Crue classic by using our ears to hear the words "Jump on this part 'til my dinners done"

Trying to get in my "makeup" hours for the weather related days we missed and honestly, what good would it have been to make the paras come in if the students were not there? I'm sorry. If the roads are not good enough for the buses, I am not traveling them either especially not to come and do what?

TFW the skater you are super crushing on says "hey I like your outfit", several others also like the glasses and then another comes up, introduces herself after saying that yes, she LOVED the outfit and the glasses. That one got info for where I bought the corset and the glasses. ;)

The dangerous weed dealie will not stop entangling itself. I fixed the mower but now the big ol' cord is frayed and needs replaced. If this was not sunday I would be knee deep in assorted alcohol by now.

What I meant to say to a student: rabbits eat grass What I actually said: robots eat grass. Teacher J nearly pulled a muscle guffawing at me.

Asshole was told that she would not be working with Wild Child during summer camp this year as they would like for WC to get to work with other people. AH will instead be working with the younger group- 1 of our students and it is going to be a suck fest. K and I WILL have eyes on that whenever

Caveboy is continuing on with his nearly nonstop swearing and for the love of life, the very next person to suggest "ignoring it" is getting chased to the next county bc don't you think we fucking tried that on day 1? Holy shit.

Teacher H is quite young and I watched her whole face crumble in real time bc she called someone old, quoted his age and not far from a lot of us, tried to backtrack a bit, fucked up that mission and then stopped and wailed I LOVE YOU GUYS PLEASE HELP ME. Me: do what I do. Just say THE END.