Congratulations to Mamdani for becoming the first King of Earth. May his reign be long and just.

The most regrettable thing about Charlie Kirks death is that he's not around to see all the people making fun of him for being killed.

From the recent #StreetlightManifesto show with @moonstomper1.bsky.social and @mrsnapkins.bsky.social 🤘

New Yorkers scream out each officer’s lawsuits against them for excessive force and more upon their city, right to their faces while protesting.

If crime is so bad why isnt it illegal?🤔🤔

Remember what they took from us! We must retvrn to tradition!

Good morning, NYC. We have some very exciting news to share.

The Democrats have found their perfect "Joe Rogan of the Left" in one Mr Poochie T. Dog.

This dog politely asked for a musician's drumstick in the middle of their performance. Always excited to find a fellow stick lover. 12/10

Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People In Face

I'm starting to embrace the loser mindset. 100% failmaxxing. Dudpilled flopcore. Entering my fizzle era. Girl it's giving last place.

If AOC and Bernie have taught us anything, it's that our government needs more hotties.

What if we simply did not have stocks to begin with.

Fun fact: despite popular belief, theres actually no piano playing in the song Piano Man.

We’re only two months in, & they’re cancelling research into pediatric brain cancer. They’re deporting US kids with brain cancer. They’re putting millions at risk of malaria, TB, & polio. I for one will never forgive or forget those who said ‘it won’t be that bad’. 😡

I super love how one of the biggest "issues" this cycle is a completely nonexistent problem. Gotta fear monger over something I guess.

Theyre turning the frogs gay and the mice transgendered. Whats next, crows with they/them pussy?

This should happen more

I just wanna talk, Elon. Just a quick chat.

The Gulf of That Golf Show That Starred Bill Murray And His 3 Brothers.

Im going to turn into the fucking Joker

We have fascism now because y'all fucked around and didn't avoid the Noid.

"Thats what it do, Yugi!"

Wild. Top is the NBC upload, bottom is the one aired as the live feed

Welcome to the public domain, THE SKELETON DANCE (1929). 🎞️ 🎶👻 Walt Disney Studios' first Silly Symphony cartoon is a wordless masterpiece of synchronized animation & music featuring dancing skeletons in a graveyard. ➡️ https://blog.archive.org/2025/01/01/welcome-to-the-public-domain-in-2025⁠

Woke Santa got gave me pronouns for christmas and im so mad

Friendly reminder that having a boycott with a pre-determined end date is incredibly stupid, as it defeats the whole purpose of a boycott.

No, comrade. *We* are Astro-Bot.

Ben Stiller doesn't get enough credit for being Ben Stiller.

I do be postin

So unbelievably based

He'll always be there for you, even if you're never there for him. And by "he", I mean Hot Pockets.

If you think about it, we're all trying to "fix it in Post".

Imagining a scenario where they finally catch the guy, but dont believe its him and let him go because he doesnt look anything like the AI image of him they keep using.

Me, trying to be as funny as terminally online irony-poisoned communist zoomers, but my Millennial-ass can't keep up without adding GIFs.

If the annual New Years Day Honeymooners Marathon can't fix this country, I'm afraid nothing can.

"What if Im at my Thanksgiving dinner and my conservative uncle wants to talk about Trump?" Squirt gun full if cat piss. Next question.

Make America Great Again! "Again" referring to those first 2 weeks of Pokemon Go.

If the planet is getting hotter, then how come I'm still ugly? Checkmate, climate cucks.

Thinking about the time I was at work, and the garbage dude that came to get our trash accidentally dropped our entire dumpster into the back of his truck. The look on my mans face was the purest expression of FML ever. I hope wherever he is now, hes having a good day.

The movie "Crank" is basically just "Speed 3: Now Its A Guy" And "Crank 2: High Voltage" is just "Speed 4: An Electric Car But Its That Guy From Before"

Anyone wanna go loiter outside of a convenience store and listen to music from 2005 for a few hours?

A 5v5 video game where you're just a bunch of dudes at a beach trying to dig the biggest hole.

There I go, thinkin about "Fistfight in a Parking Lot" again.

I could be a funny memester just like all of you big funny accounts, but Im spending all my time chilling with my boy Jesus Christ. Praise up, heathens.

Remember back in like 2006, when the peak of comedy, for some reason, was mustaches? What was up with that?