Took me a big ol’ swing at horror. My next novella, Paterfamilias, is mean-spirited, upsetting, gross, violent, scary as hell, and it’s coming your way SOOOOOOOON!

It me

Hey! Win a copy of my new novel here:

My bleary-eyed, sinus-stuffed morning face invites you to pick up a copy of my new novel Jen & Gary’s Infinite (Quantum) Entanglements immediately! Give that 🔗 below a tappy-tap, dear reader! www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

You know what to do. www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

You guys are CRUSHING preorders! Let’s keep it up, okay? Like, repost, and share this post so the Algo doesn’t gobble it up, and tell your bookreadin’ pals to order a book or two. KTHXBYE! www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

Experts agree! Jen & Gary is completely batzhit! Preorder your copy immediately! www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

But you don’t have to take MY word for it… www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

Even my esteemed publisher believes Jen & Gary’s Infinite (Quantum) Entanglements is the best third novel I’ve ever written! Take their word for it here: www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

Here’re some snapshots from Gary’s trip around the multiverse. Whether he’s a sentient landmass, and murderbot, a t-rex, a mooman, a hideous squid kaiju, or a friggin’ coffee mug, he still searches for his one and only someone…and often fails spectacularly. www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, GEEKS! Now mash that preorder button! 👉🏻🔗 www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

You haven’t preordered my new novel, have you? *glare intensifies* HAVE YOU?! www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

Check the OG story here: lumierereview.app/issue10/nick...

You may not know this, but my new novel sprouted from a short story I had published in the Lumiere Review four years ago. Everything in the story was turned up to 11 in the novel, but they're pretty cool companion pieces to one another. Preorder here: www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

You may not know this, but my new novel sprouted from a short story I had published in the Lumiere Review four years ago. Everything in the story was turned up to 11 in the novel, but they're pretty cool companion pieces to one another. Preorder here: www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

…Bill Nye’s a freakin’ jerk. Preorder my new novel no matter what that dork says. www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

…Bill Nye’s a freakin’ jerk. Preorder my new novel no matter what that dork says. www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

Gary wakes up as a tyrannosaurus…but the emotional baggage remains the same. Preorder: 👉🏻🔗☣️ www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

See what all the hubbub’s about! www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

He wakes up as a dinosaur/murderbot/coffee mug and somehow it’s romantic. Out 4/28. www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

The time is now, friends! Check it out: www.unsolicitedpress.com/shop/p/jen-g...

Y’all better watch out. I might eff around and write my own novelization of Beowulf because I like to party.

THE PRSL WRITING PROJECT is exactly what it sounds like: stories, poems, and whatever-the-hell-else from your favorite punk rockers—built to turn noise into care. Every cent goes back into creating community, healing, and helping. #PunkRockSavesLives #UnsolicitedPress #PRSLWritingProject

Hey, remember that novel I’ve been alluding to a bunch recently? Well Howzabout a cover reveal?! JEN & GARY’S INFINITE (QUANTUM) ENTANGLEMENTS is coming your way from @unsolicitedpress.bsky.social on April 28th!

Hey read this. It’s got an epic workplace judo/karate fight in it. www.nickgregorio.com/2025/06/12/e...

The Mortal Kombat theme song is the single greatest musical composition of all time. Suck on THAT, Mozart.

Two old people, on separate occasions, have stopped me in my tracks today to tell me there’s a new pope. Is there something about my face that suggests I had a rooting interest in the matter? Do I look like a pope guy? What does a pope guy even look like? Do pope guys look like me?!

I think my favorite part of all of this is when people go, I didn’t think they’d come FOR ME. My brother in Christ, they were always going to come for all of us. You just chose to believe you’d be considered exempt.

I’m flying to Los Angle-leeze today to try to make friends and sell some of these at #AWP25. Anyone want to drink beers and read stories with me?? I’m also showing off a bit because the world is a cesspool but my soul is not and little joys need to be big joys so I hope you don’t mind.

Wouldn’t it be cool if you had the chance to fistfight your ailment before it had a chance to get you sick

The worst and most obnoxious movie take is IF IT’S SO GOOD WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF IT like who the eff are you, guy?

The toughest dudes at the hardcore show are drinking nothing but water trust me

Bill S. Preston, Esq. out here being an absolute hero. @alexwinter.com

Is it weird that Alien has been my comfort movie for like the last year?

Our robotics team brought out a new shirt design and when I asked to buy one the coach asked what size I take and when I said large he was like really and I was like YEAH I LIKE THEM A LITTLE SNUG OKAY AARON CRIPES

A coworker just told me she was in kindergarten during the first season of American Idol. I responded with my entire body crackling as I left her office.

So I’m 6’3” with a typical 39 year-old white guy build for better or worse and when people call me Big Guy I know they’re using it as a term of endearment but I want to be like HEY THERE SHIT-FOR-BRAINS, or WHATS HAPPENIN CHINLESS, or HOWS IT GOIN DICKNOSE because who you calling Big Guy, CoriolANUS

I like when the Nazis are like all offended when they’re called Nazis but y’all’re Nazis so what’s the big deal because your favorite thing is to strictly define people anyways so go ahead and be defined, you Nazi scum.

Remember when liking Hitler lost you friends? Those were the days.

Like 15 or so years ago I read a review of Idiocracy in which the author posited the flick was a mean-spirited dig at poor people what a bad take legend that dingus was ammaright

Hey you AWPers! Come hang out with me and all these spectacularly talented folk in Los Angleleeze!

Bug Wars is a zany, gory, raucous good time and y’all should read it.

The first issue of Bronze Faces from @boom-studios.com rules. Read my review, buy the book immediately. You’ll be stoked on yourself for making such a terrific decision, I’ll tell ya what.

If Football Christ vaporizes a guy I’ll sprint up a mountain a stick a key into like 60 beers and chug until I freeze to death atop Everest.

Though Football Christ turns 28 today and that dude runs like he’s mad at the grass and could probably turn a guy into red mist if he ran into him full bore.

If the Eagles don’t win tonight I will absolutely collapse like a dying star except instead of a dying star I’ll just be a drunk sad guy being sad over the result of a kids’ game that could’ve made 2025 just a smidge less shit.

I think if I were given a shot to create a viable third party in this dumb country it’d be called the Nazi Crotch Kickin’ Party Party

I feel like I’m in my Nazi Crotch Kickin’ era and I’m pretty stoked on it tbh

I think we need a mutant dinosaur in a Jurassic Park movie as much as we need a 7th Jurassic Park movie which is to say we don’t but there’s Nazis about and the smallest joys need to be big joys and we can’t JUST get our jollies from Nazi punchin’ though Nazi punchin’ really is the bees knees

I reviewed the first issue of THE SEASONS from @imagecomics.bsky.social for @fanbasepress.bsky.social. Check it out pretty pretty please!