The leaked footage from the Legend of Zelda movie set made me sad. Idk 😔

I am "Moulin Rouge is the best musical ever maybe" level of high rn. Aaron Tveit I feel nothing towards you but a vaguely avuncular sentiment, disposing me towards an urge to pat you heartily on the back and dispense short snippets of wisdom.

Oh fuck me, the new Predator movie apparently has a conlang created for the movie. Now I have to get caught up on all of Predator lore. Fuck. Goddamn it. There are so many fucking movies. Shit. Ass.

I love reality TV for one reason. It amuses me in an admittedly sick and cruel way to get the most incoherent men on the planet to try conducting a conversation requiring high communication skills. Hysterical. Like watching a chimp on a unicycle. Keep gruntin jr that lady won't stop being mad at you

Hahaha wow Baahubali was remastered and re-edited to celebrate its 10 year anniversary hahahaha it was in theaters hahaha that means you guys will make it available on DVD right. You guys are finally gonna let me buy this right

"It's not an adaptation of Wuthering Heights, it's INSPIRED by it" it still looks like shit I fear :(

Ephebophile? You mean the protagonist of Wicked??

Currently working on the first draft of my Christmas romance novel wherein a financial analyst shows a humble Christmas ornament shop owner how nice it is to live in a big city with ready access to all kinds of ethnic foods

Deeply dark, I would even say Beelzebubian energies emanating from all Christmas Romance movies and books. There is a faint but distinct odor of brimstone wafting from such things

[Frat dude getting a little aggro at a bar] Hey man don't fuckin talk about my girl's wretched countenance like that

I have as of late been shitting in a way that's reminiscent of a sea cucumber's self-defense techniques, which while viscerally unpleasant has managed to shorten my time in the bathroom significantly

Living with your s/o is like a sleepover that never ends. Sometimes that means giggling and fun and affection. Sometimes it means one person is hyperactive at 2a while the other is like "If you do not stop talking right now I'm going to kill you with my fists"

I love Inexplicable Abstract Expressions of Lust, one of my mutuals reblogged a post of an anime character with an added a gif of a Shetland pony walking rapidly across the screen. I don't get it but I Get it you know what I mean

Remembered this boba place near me when I was like 10 or 11, and one day they switched from using artificial strawberry syrup to blending real strawberries. And you know what. The syrup tasted so much better it wasn't even in the same ballpark

Oh shit were there some weird shaped rocks? Damn man, that’s rough maybe you should convalesce in an asylum for a few months.

Yeah I looked upon Cthulhu's dread visage and I was fine. Big octopus on a man's body. Not exactly "difficult to comprehend." Maybe you guys should go outside more idk

I'm digging this upswing in "tradwife comeuppance horror," about time we focused on the real gender traitors and I hope it gets big enough where I finally don't have to see the most credulous buffoons on the planet go "Wait what's wrong with a woman cooking for her family if she CHOOSES to do so 🤨"

One of the accountants told me I made a coding error for one of the transactions and I said if this ever happens again I give her leave to slaughter me where I stand. She went unsmiling, "It's really not that serious."

It's cool how we're just embracing cowardice as a moral virtue and kitsch is the primary aesthetic you see espoused as the pinnacle of art but STILL!! We persist. What choice is left!! WHAT CHOICE IS LEFT!!!!

Christians feigning horror at the idea of Aztec human sacrifice is so funny to me in the year of 2025 like I know they're trying to do racist posturing but it just seems like such weenie shit!! Like grow up every 6th grader in the world was like "That's cool af" why are you lamer than a 6th grader

Hey guys, just came back from the universe where everyone pursues the passion project of their choice, totally financially secure and solely laboring out of love, but also nothing has changed to develop their taste. They're on like, Call of Duty 76 by now. Every theater only plays Click (2006)"

Worked so hard on my anomalocaris drawings and got no votes but I draw your typical old man titties and suddenly we got a winner

Got a second nickel (told someone I know how to say "hi" in their language and now they regularly send me 4 min videos featuring like a thesis defense in that language)

Watched Love Is Blind and this made all of us scream. Why is he lying WHY'S HE LYING

Discovered a very useful personal metric for myself which is that I am TOO intoxicated to do ANYTHING of consequence when I start to think that the Greatest Showman (2017) soundtrack is actually kind of groovy, now that I think about it. Like I should not be driving, making purchasing decisions, etc

English majors please tell me why "I own a gun" sounds inexplicably more sinister than "I have a gun"

Your ability to cope with humiliation is a genuinely significant determiner as to whether you become a fascist or not and I'm like not even kidding here

What is the opposite of gooning I got distracted from porn because I got really into the Laos Wikipedia page

I don't know what has happened with my life that I am constantly surrounded by deadpanned women both under and over reacting to me. "I ate escargot once. It's good with Sriracha sauce" "[uninflected voice] you're literally insane. I can't fucking stand you, you're out of control" DAILY LIFE for me

Wahoo yippee my pre-order for Sanjay Patel's version of the Mahabharata came in! You can't tell but this bad boy is huge, decent coffee table book size, I can't wait to read it

Sorta annoys me how many people think I'm smart bc I wear glasses and have no social skills and don't take care of my appearance. Some of us check all those boxes and it doesn't mean we're tech savants or whatever it just means we are stupid af AND can't see/socialize/look good. Don't generalize

Yeah we could have bars and poles for people to hang onto on the bus or thru can cling to this dangling strap and start swinging everywhere and knocking into people like a speedbag!! Whoever designed this i can't wait to catch your ass in hell

Me: So the emperor uses THIS word to refer to himself, and while a literal translation is "high above," when written it has a grammatical marker added to indicate its use as a pronoun rather than adjective. Friend: Okay but like. What is the PLOT of your story Me: I have more to say about grammar.

Partner keeps saying I'm suppressing my emotions but that's ridiculous. I'm so in touch with my emotions. Every time I burst into tears when I see old people working, or even a goofy reaction image of someone looking sad, I go "I Acknowledge You" before sucking the tears back into the ducts

Telling yourself you're too understanding of other people's personality deficiencies and that you're just More Empathetic and that's why there's no point in confronting them about some issue is just bog-standard avoidance behavior repackaged with a deeply arrogant veneer

Never raise a weapon you're not prepared to have snatched from you and used against you. This is true for self defense tools and also for ideological things like "Giving a lot of significance to Having Sex as a status marker."

SHUR THE FUCK UP I have the rules. Everyone shut up here are hte rules. 1) say thank you to the bus driver, the food service staff, every custodian, every single time 2) always assume someone can teach you something even when you have no evidence for it 3) escalators have standing & walking sides

My I'M TERRIBLE AT ORAL, IT'S TOOTHY, NO SUCTION, BARELY ANY SPIT, LIKE TRYING TO RUB YOUR CROTCH SOFTLY AGAINST A PINECONE t-shirt is raising a lot of questions already answered by my t-shirt

Dude I fucking love my Cantonese class it's taught by a Chinese guy attending grad school in the states and teaching introductory Cantonese to supplement his income and he makes this face every time anyone reads aloud. Obsessed

Apparently my favorite jibaritos place burned down I'm in a state of grief 😭😭😭 I was gonna go with my partner one of these days wtf!! NEVER LET OPPORTUNITIES PASS YOU BY

I know it's a Known Topic that the men women want to fuck and the men who MEN think women want to fuck look entirely different. But guys it goes the other way around too. You cannot fathom how many dudes want BBWs it's not even a joke. The difference is they work to hide it

Idk how to describe it there are some book covers that are so colorful and pretty and appealing that I know for a fact the book itself is going to be wet sharts on a hot tin roof. For some reason I don't feel the reverse of like a book cover so ugly it's GOTTA be good but for Pretty covers...

Genuinely evil and dark-sided to put the periods between the letters in "milf" and "dilf." Like what is M.I.L.F. that is a supervillain organization composed entirely of cougars. Whoa that's a great idea actually post canceled hold on

Latest stupid food trend I've found is Korean collagen jelly for weight loss, which is frustrating as someone who 1) Loves the taste and texture, other kinds of jelly just don't hit the way I need them to 2) cannot abide the idea of someone seeing me eat those and think I'm into bullshit diet fads

My wife was publicly shot at DeFranco's Pizza Parlor's Murdery Mystery Night. Everyone just laughed and clapped while I begged them to call an ambulance. "Well hold on we need clues, who had the MOTIVE" some asshole wearing a monocle of all things declared. "SHE'S DYING" I screamed, to more applause

Low self esteem is insane my coworker was like "Do you ever worry you pee louder than other people" as though this is a normal thing to worry about and when I was like "Yeah I worry I need to get louder" I GOT THE STRANGE LOOK??? LIKE OH JOKING ABOUT IT IS WEIRD BUT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY IS STANDARD?

I might genuinely miss the pre-gate change bus back home because I'm taking the kind of shit that Jesus had to use magic to cure back in the day

Stayed late at the office so I could walk straight to class after. Hoped I could goof off but the CEO was staying late too and was like "Oh hey!! We can burn the midnight oil TOGETHER! :D" I almost wept right there

I know I'm ceding a LOT of ground by even saying this but like. If someone asks you a question and you decide to respond w/ a screenshot of what an AI bot told you, AT LEAST make it ChatGPT or something, wtf are you doing giving a Grok screenshot on a work email