He is pissed at Russia because Putin won't stop the war so that the fool can win a Nobel Peace Prize.

you'd think there would be a color called Carrot. I mean there's Sage and Moss and Olive and Orange. Sea Foam even. Or Kelp. The color Kelp. It's not brown, it's not Russet, it's not Caramel. It's Kelp.

you can indict a ham sandwich, but not a Subway sandwich.

You know it just occurred to me: if one is a Child of the Enlightenment one must be for Unions. They are directly related. Directly.

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Protect Aaron Parnas!! ❤️❤️❤️ ☮️ 😊 www.tiktok.com/t/ZP86gCeH8/

I wouldn't have done well in the Old Times. I would've been like, "Why? Why do we have to build a pyramid?? A pyramid seems like A LOT of work. Can't we just fondly remember and send our well wishes into the air..? A pyramid just seems so difficult for what we're trying to do here."

I'm in a Zillow kind of mood. anyone?

You know what's easy to get stuck in your head..?? "Where them fans at..?! Where them fans at..?! Whoa-oo whoa-oo Whoa-oo I got my boots on the ground"

His whole existence is an unintended consequence.

Remember, some people are just learning what you already know. And that is okay. not only is it okay, it is the Way of the World.

I am an English Major. Our superpower is that we know everything.

Musk thinks he's playing 4D chess while in reality, high on ketamine, he bumped the table and all the checkers spilled on the floor

so let me get this straight: Pope Francis takes one look at JD Couch's moon-faced mug and nope's tf out..?! Say 'I've had enough of this earthly device, cee ya!'

where's my Blue Check motherfuckers!

do you ever find yourself not wanting to hook something new up to Bluetooth because it will fuck up everything else you're hooked up to..??

If you can't get there through quality: Cheat

Nice to see competent intelligent world leaders stand up and opine to stupidity. www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8j9tSjf/

Wow! Nice to see intelligent world leaders stand up and opine. ❤️👍🏽☮️ www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8j9qbQV/

🚨🚨🚨Important Counter to idiot JFK jr www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8j9fGqh/

!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ☮️ www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8j9ptgL/

and they don't need to go to space to make an artistic statement. www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8juMUWY/

dude, I have the perfect solution. If anybody ever asks you anything just say 'Emperor Tomato Ketchup'

Does Am Bondi even know what 'court' is..??

My superpower is I only like great songs. youtu.be/Gn6SNbTD0_Q?...

Very little trips me out. but this is tripping me out: I was watching an old Weather Channel broadcast from New Year's Day 2000/2001 and the guy said head over to America Online dot com for more. And it clicked America Online became AOL!! It's a TRIP how different things were then. how simple.

If you're going to name your baby, name it Chaka Khan. I think that is the best name ever.

fuck you retrograde!!

ever since my awakening, I feel like I've gotten worse as a human being, not better. Not worse in terms of malice. But in terms of functioning as a human being might be predisposed to.

sometimes I forget that I am practicing Lovingkindness.

✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽❤️ youtu.be/6EoLL5Y1AD0?...